Fetish and Mental Health

[Deleted Member]

Not sure if this topic has had discussion before but I thought as I suffer mental health difficulties and from reading posts from other sufferers, I would try to get some perspectives and maybe even advice. Not just for me but for other sufferers as well. 

I have seen a whole host of mental health issues spoken of on this site. Various aspects of the autism spectrum, Bi-polar, tourette's etc. 

I myself have ADHD , anxiety, depression and recently diagnosed PTSD. 

A lot of the fetish and kink lifestyle seems to derive from traumas from our youth or from things later in life. 

Of course I am not speaking for everyone. You all have your own reasons and desires. 

I know from my own experiences from childhood and life, that is what makes me lust, want, desire the alternative side. Wanting to find some acceptance for who and what I am. 

It has only been the last 4 or 5 years I have found people who do not judge, can accept me and I can be just me. I can laugh, joke and talk. 

I am hoping to find that here. I know I fuck up a hell of a lot with things I say and do. I don't excuse it , because I cannot really. It is just sometimes the wiring gets overloaded and I cannot control.

I was wondering how others feel about their own struggles with mental health and how it effects the kink lifestyle. Or what others might think. Maybe help us along, benefit of experience sort of thing.

[ey****]

in society as a whole, more people struggle with different degrees of mental health problems then give credit for

it often seems a bit more prevalent in the kink community, but whether there is an attraction - or - whether it's just that this is a community which requires more open communication and thus more feel they can raise mental health issues (or, a little from column a, a little from column b) I don't entirely know.

Sometimes it's a little sad that there are those who don't have MH issues, past traumas etc (which is brilliant from them) who do sometimes judges others that do a little and that's an iffy mine field.

A common thing I would say, mind... there are a lot of folk find different elements of kink help their Mental Health and that is brilliant.  I think certainly one thing that is often said to benefit MH is to take up a hobby and join social groups (so, by default, socialising at munches is a good example of something good for MH) however it is important not to hinge too much in the way of certain outcomes or interactions for your MH - because you can't (always) control other people's responses.

 

But also, a little like any health condition, we are all somewhat of taking responsibility for our own health and wellbeing where we can - we might bump into others who can, or can try, to help us but it's important not to burden on them.   If you had a broken leg you wouldn't try to run a marathon until that is healed and until you've worked strength back up into it.  And so finding ways to help yourself heal or work on issues can make a big difference.

[Deleted Member]

21 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

in society as a whole, more people struggle with different degrees of mental health problems then give credit for

it often seems a bit more prevalent in the kink community, but whether there is an attraction - or - whether it's just that this is a community which requires more open communication and thus more feel they can raise mental health issues (or, a little from column a, a little from column b) I don't entirely know.

Sometimes it's a little sad that there are those who don't have MH issues, past traumas etc (which is brilliant from them) who do sometimes judges others that do a little and that's an iffy mine field.

A common thing I would say, mind... there are a lot of folk find different elements of kink help their Mental Health and that is brilliant.  I think certainly one thing that is often said to benefit MH is to take up a hobby and join social groups (so, by default, socialising at munches is a good example of something good for MH) however it is important not to hinge too much in the way of certain outcomes or interactions for your MH - because you can't (always) control other people's responses.

 

But also, a little like any health condition, we are all somewhat of taking responsibility for our own health and wellbeing where we can - we might bump into others who can, or can try, to help us but it's important not to burden on them.   If you had a broken leg you wouldn't try to run a marathon until that is healed and until you've worked strength back up into it.  And so finding ways to help yourself heal or work on issues can make a big difference.

The thing I found is to take that step to reach out for help. There are charities and organisations that can give that initial help and support. I become a volunteer at a mental health charity, taking part in many activities, meeting good people, being in a positive atmosphere. Led to other things. 

The important thing is that you have to put yourself out there. It is a long hard road with many bumps. You have to put the hard work in. There are good people to support you, but you have to fight. 

[AJ_Mackie]

4 hours ago, DaddyBear63 said:

Not sure if this topic has had discussion before but I thought as I suffer mental health difficulties and from reading posts from other sufferers, I would try to get some perspectives and maybe even advice. Not just for me but for other sufferers as well. 

I have seen a whole host of mental health issues spoken of on this site. Various aspects of the autism spectrum, Bi-polar, tourette's etc. 

I myself have ADHD , anxiety, depression and recently diagnosed PTSD. 

A lot of the fetish and kink lifestyle seems to derive from traumas from our youth or from things later in life. 

Of course I am not speaking for everyone. You all have your own reasons and desires. 

I know from my own experiences from childhood and life, that is what makes me lust, want, desire the alternative side. Wanting to find some acceptance for who and what I am. 

It has only been the last 4 or 5 years I have found people who do not judge, can accept me and I can be just me. I can laugh, joke and talk. 

I am hoping to find that here. I know I fuck up a hell of a lot with things I say and do. I don't excuse it , because I cannot really. It is just sometimes the wiring gets overloaded and I cannot control.

I was wondering how others feel about their own struggles with mental health and how it effects the kink lifestyle. Or what others might think. Maybe help us along, benefit of experience sort of thing.

I do think the site should make a forum category for those with mental health struggles and disabilities.
That way theres a safe space for other users in this category to gain and share knowledge and experience to help those with similar ailments to enable their experiences with bdsm and kink to be more successful and fulfilling as well as keeping everyone safe and informed.
This could also be beneficial for those users who dont have a condition but could be playing with or interested in those who do. 
@FETMOD-KF 😁😁

[MrJim]

I really feel like being able to free yourself from the “societal norm” by opening up to your kink is a cathartic and healing experience. I’ve done a lot of reading and research into the community and it is actually a very healing process because as was mentioned, we discuss our wants and needs openly in our relationships. It’s because we establish a consensual environment and we step free of the constraints of society that we can express ourselves and in that way heal. I don’t think mental health issues are a reason for our kinks, I believe it’s the deep connection and communication between us that attracts people with mental health issues to gravitate here. The so called “normal” society puts a stigma on both mental health and our kinks, and for the most part people in our community tend to not judge each other. The more I learn about the bdsm lifestyle the more I feel that we are not the outliers but the ones brave enough to step outside of the comfort of the status quo and seek fulfillment. Just my opinion feel free to share yours.