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Do Dommes have an ideal age for their submissive partner/slave


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Posted

Hi all

I've read a few comments recently in letters from  Dominants in Madame (the  now defunct 1980s Fem Dom publication published by Swish) about young Dommes wanting to dominate an older man. As an older man myself (61) I wonder if this is true or just fantasy.  When looking for a partner I tend to think of  looking for women  my own age as I think the relationship has more likelihood of developing longer term. I often see 'age and gender not an issue' for Pro Dommes. What do Mistresses here honestly think? Have you had a partner older than you? If so, did it work out?  What were the pros and cons?

 

Thanks in advance - look forward to receiving your thoughts!

 

Posted

I'm 38 and I prefer an older lady to take control of me.

 

Posted

I'm going to give you a very simple boring answer from my experiences.

Do Dommes have an ideal age?   Yes.

But it varies from person to person.

A good friend of mine - who is not a Pro - is early 50s and she is seeking a sub around 10 years either side.   The reason being is that she doesn't want anyone who is, effectively, her sons age.

There's others I know who are a little bit more fluid - trying to think my way around people I know, in a lot of cases the relationships are around-the-same-age or that the Female Dominant is older.

Within the Professional circuit - there's a lot of ladies I know who do have older subs.  Now, circumstances vary widely - but there is a difference between a client and a personal/collared sub/slave.   It would be unfair for me to comment on any circumstances I know because someone who goes to see a Professional with a pre-existing goal of being their personal sub is potentially setting up for a fall.

But. I'm 37, my Mistress is 31 (She is open about that) and I'm the youngest of Her subs.

Posted
Personally im looking for a younger Lg type to form a Domme LG/sub daddy relationship so the age thing is a natural balance.
Posted

I haven't had an ideal age for domination but it seems to have been my last 3 relationships were all with slightly younger men. I have met older guys as well but nothing came of it.

Posted

I suppose as further thought.

When it does come to, well, kink in general - almost everything we've been taught about relationships goes out the window.

So, it depends on the type of relationship you want.  Whether it's a typical romantic relationship, with an element of kink - or a D/s relationship which may not be sexual* or romantic (*depending on where you draw the line at sexual - I can't do PIV with my Mistress, but She will do strap on with me and has done other deemed sexual acts) 

But, in saying this... even in traditional style vanilla relationships - sometimes these occur with people with an age gap.   Sometimes there are people who look for older partners, sometimes those who seek younger, sometimes those who want someone around-their-age.     And that logic does carry through also.  

And while some people do have preferences (a Pro I know won't take a session request from anyone aged below 21 and won't consider any form of ownership relationship with anyone under the age of 30, based on what she would want from these relationships) I don't feel there is a universal rule or trend.

Some things do get a little jaded because, for example, if you watch BDSM pornography the guys are often older.  The reason for that is many fold, but a lot can come down to less consequences of being recognised, more experience and, well, if you're retired with a railcard it's a bit easier to get to a Tuesday shoot at short notice...

Posted

I have clients of all ages and my collard sub/partner is 19 years younger. I think it depends a lot on the connections you have with a person rather than their age as such

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