Disclosing Kink as a Patient in Medical Contexts

[ro****]

  7 hours ago, CraftySub said:

I brushed on it with my therapist a few weeks ago for context purposes with him. He didn’t bat an eye, but he can now understand my relationship dynamic with fewer words said because he has that tidbit of information. I’m also very open in therapy and I don’t leave out details because if you’re not honest in therapy, you won’t receive honest help, and you aren’t honest with yourself in the end. The point of therapy is to get tools and work on being the best version of yourself of course! Now, this isn’t something I’ve disclosed with my OB yet because it’s just my dom and myself. Once we find a great unicorn match, it’ll be brought up in visits to make sure we’re being safe.

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Thank you. I really appreciate the recount of your experience.

[ro****]

  January 4, QXX666 said:

You don’t have to disclose your private kinky life to anyone unless you have to justify your bruises/cut impact play marks.
But if you feel you need/want to just contact local lgbtiqa+ organisations and ask them for the details of doctors, therapists/psychologists they recommend.

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Thank you, this seems like a really good way to go about it.

[ro****]

  January 4, kiseu said:

Important questions, I have always asked... no matter how embarrassing!! A long time ago, I asked anal sex questions with a Proctologist. It was really embarrassing, and wanted to hide.🙈

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It's wonderful that you held yourself to it though. The potential risk and side effects of anal are often not considered or understood as much as they should be.

[ro****]

  January 4, Xavier1978 said:

Unless you have kids, being embarrassed is the worst outcome.

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Yes, but also no.
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The worst outcome for me is having a doctor change how they give care, or having the patient change how they access care.
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As introduced in my original post, it's the concern around kink being pathologised in cases where it shouldn't be. And whilst kink is becoming more accepted in wider society, not everyone has an equally tolerant perspective on it.
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Bearing in mind too, I've lived in many small towns and rural communities where some of the local viewpoints are more sexually conservative and the options for providers more restricted.
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Perceived sexual deviances can alter in particular mental health and psychiatric care and diagnosis. Kinky behaviours can be seen as impulsive, risk taking, self harm, and sometimes a sign of emotional disconnect etc. This can be the case, absolutely, but it also may not be and so the open mindedness of the provider and their ability to understand kink for what it is, and what it is not, is paramount.
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And while shame and embarrassment are certainly not an immediate physical threat, and while I fully encourage overcoming them as much as possible, for many people (including myself at times) they can and often do act as a barrier to accessing medical care, so I think their imposition need not be dismissed. 😉

[ro****]

  January 4, BrumDaddyDom said:

GP's, doctors, nurses, psychologists, psychiatrists all have a code of confidentiality so while it can be embarrassing or make you feel self-conscious, medical people are one of the best to open up to about things, as even if they did know anyone you know, they can't divulge anything from your conversations & it can be a weight off your shoulders sometimes to be able to speak to someone about your kink side, like a psychologist, to say things you can't really talk to friends & family about

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An excellent point. I'm very familiar with the code of confidentiality, but a worthwhile reminder nonetheless.

I certainly can appreciate how it alleviates anxieties that would be otherwise present, and also provides a safe space for discussion, as you and many others mentioned.

For me the matter is less a *** of impact on external relations, but rather addressing the medically internal patient-doctor relationships. They will not disclose to others, but their bedside manner may still inhibit care.
(Acknowledging that this is also privy to self perception and your own openness).

I'm largely looking for what actions you might take to find practitioners you connect with and how you might bring up kink topics in a way that makes you comfortable.

[Deleted Member]

For physical medical situation, a couple certified contract is the best

[Nocturne]

Personally, I have discussed domination and experiences with BDSM, and she asked about my motivations, as well as what it all means. It was interesting to explain.

[Sy****]

In the tribal sense that is a yarb doc that you want, a master debator to ask you to prove your thought. That’s my kink feel free to feed it. If we get sexually involved that’s just being demi-yes

[Deleted Member]

Hi. I'm a nurse, and I am in grad school to become a NP. Thankfully in class, they are getting better about giving us tools in how to ask sexual health questions. As a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, I have been an advocate on how to ask questions in a non-judmental and gender neutral way. My bad reel says "be kind" but spelled with ASL, and it has all skin tones and the rainbow/trans flag. 

Your feeling of concern that your care will alter if you were disclose your kink preferences are completely valid. I have interacted with some providers that didn't feel comfortable with prescribing prep (which is ridiculous I know). If they are not able to provide the care you need, they are legally required to find someone who can. Hope this helps!

Also if anyone has anything for me to incorporate in my future primary care practice, I would love to learn more. I want to create a safe and inclusive environment for everyone. 

[ro****]

  September 1, Kdeer14 said:

Hi. I'm a nurse, and I am in grad school to become a NP. Thankfully in class, they are getting better about giving us tools in how to ask sexual health questions. As a member of the LGBTQIA+ community, I have been an advocate on how to ask questions in a non-judmental and gender neutral way. My bad reel says "be kind" but spelled with ASL, and it has all skin tones and the rainbow/trans flag. 

Your feeling of concern that your care will alter if you were disclose your kink preferences are completely valid. I have interacted with some providers that didn't feel comfortable with prescribing prep (which is ridiculous I know). If they are not able to provide the care you need, they are legally required to find someone who can. Hope this helps!

Also if anyone has anything for me to incorporate in my future primary care practice, I would love to learn more. I want to create a safe and inclusive environment for everyone. 

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Thank you

[Da****]

Let me answer this on a few fronts.

1. As a patient of therapy.
I do see a therapist due to cancer. ED is a major side effect due to the surgery. (I have prostate cancer). So, finding a sex friendly kink tfriendly therapist was essential for me. There are several qebsites that will list those who are freindly to the lifestyle.

2. As a first responder:
I am required by law to report ***. As are I believe most nurses and doctors are. So If you are in the ER due to an accident, just be honest. (Yes I have respnded to calls that envolved sex act gone wrong). We were having rough sex and this happened... Or you can chose not to disclose it. But suspesion of *** may be there with the provider.

3. Post the question on fet if you are looking for a kink friendly or sex friendly therapist. I am sure you will get a list of those who are.