MattyNarcy Posted February 1, 2019 Posted February 1, 2019 I've been looking for a dominant partner or dominant partners for a while. The last dominant partner I had kept asking for *** and completely flaked out when we were supposed to meet. I'm over 99.99% sure she was scamming me. Thanks to that, I have set down a hard limit. I will not give any *** to any partner I have not met face-to-face. After all, if he/she can't respect that limit, he/she will probably not respect any of my other limits, either. That hard limit will also have a effect of weeding out the scammers. I've had many women and a man try to get me to give them *** before meeting. How will I be able to weed out the scammers?
RosesHaveThorns75 Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 Man that really sucks to have to deal with that!!
ey**** Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 I think just as a first off - if they have a € on their profile then they are working Professionally and you should expect to exchange *** - most require a deposit before meeting to help THEM weed out scammers. If it is on *this* site and *** comes up and they do NOT have € on their profile then report the profile as they are against site rules.
ey**** Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 if we're talking on other sites then rules aren't entirely clear - but simply enough, if someone is working professionally then paying a deposit is often part of the screening process. This then becomes on you to do your own research into them before discussing if you think they are genuine. And, again, if someone is not working professionally then why is *** being discussed? Don't continue conversations needlessly, politely decline
Missfeet-3872 Posted February 2, 2019 Posted February 2, 2019 16 hours ago, MattyNarcy said: I've been looking for a dominant partner or dominant partners for a while. The last dominant partner I had kept asking for *** and completely flaked out when we were supposed to meet. I'm over 99.99% sure she was scamming me. Thanks to that, I have set down a hard limit. I will not give any *** to any partner I have not met face-to-face. After all, if he/she can't respect that limit, he/she will probably not respect any of my other limits, either. That hard limit will also have a effect of weeding out the scammers. I've had many women and a man try to get me to give them *** before meeting. How will I be able to weed out the scammers? Financial Doms/Dommes are prevalent, however you should not give *** before you meet. Once you meet, establish D/s rules and have your contract in place you can discuss finances. Be upfront about this.
Mi**** Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 Some pro domme will ask for a deposit, many findommes work predominantly online but if you are not looking for either of these options then *** shouldn't really come into the conversation.
Deleted Member Posted February 3, 2019 Posted February 3, 2019 OP you mostly make clear your needs in your profile. It might help to flesh that out a bit. If you'd consider session play with a pro-Dom(me) then it may be worth stating this. Similarly if fin- dom is not your thing then say so.
RosesHaveThorns75 Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 Financial Dommes are the ones who say they want "*** pigs"?!? Or are there other terms that are used...just to be clear male Doms do this too?!?
RosesHaveThorns75 Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 On 2/2/2019 at 10:12 AM, eyemblacksheep said: I think just as a first off - if they have a € on their profile then they are working Professionally and you should expect to exchange *** - most require a deposit before meeting to help THEM weed out scammers. If it is on *this* site and *** comes up and they do NOT have € on their profile then report the profile as they are against site rules. This is ££ to protect them from time wasters if ***ps don't turn up I'd guess?!? It makes sense)
ey**** Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 there's many different types of financial domination and 'Findom' - the "pay up piggies" is one style of trope - but there's many more facets. There are male Dominants whom also attempt similar, often referred to as 'Cash Masters'
ey**** Posted February 4, 2019 Posted February 4, 2019 yep - there are many, many Ladies who start out working professionally and don't ask for a deposit. Normally, what then happens - particularly if you're starting out, it's unlikely you'll have your own premise - so this means on session day, you'll have to travel to the premises, pay a rental amount for the time (varies by region, but £25-£50ph is typical) and if the client doesn't show up you have not only had your time wasted; but are usually still liable for the hire fee. Of course, there are actually guys who do pay a deposit, then ghost. It's still a waste of a chunk of the day, but in keeping the deposit there is at least the premise covered.
RosesHaveThorns75 Posted February 9, 2019 Posted February 9, 2019 That's very clear now thank you....Are the "pay pigs" meant to get some online interaction in return like being bossed about a Bit or humiliated?!? Or is it just straight over cash ££.....
ey**** Posted February 9, 2019 Posted February 9, 2019 the whole Findom/finsub relationship can vary often. I was writing and realised I was giving a longer answer to a short question. The expectations can vary. I'm sure many Findoms have a story about how they once made a large amount of *** for seemingly low effort - but, it's not as common as made out and unlikely because they were just a random person. I was with a fairly well known lady the other day who went shopping and tweeted "who is going to pay for this?" and despite all the loves, comments, etc. she only had one person offer and it's someone who she says always offers and is someone she otherwise has a relationship with. So, a lot of the true cases where someone doesn't want/get/expect anything in return is normally part of a wider relationship. Sometimes - there are those into a kind of rip-off fetish and that's kinda different, but that works better when you enter knowing you're going to be ripped off.
RosesHaveThorns75 Posted February 15, 2019 Posted February 15, 2019 Now you've said (again) useful Bits do you mind saying what they are?!? The rip-off style Fetish cause that sounds the most dodgy to me.....You mean some ***ps get off on the idea Or its online stuff gone wrong?!?
ey**** Posted February 15, 2019 Posted February 15, 2019 actual rip-off fetish people get off on. I'll give you some consensual examples. Blatantly overpriced clips - for example - $100 for a really short clip, but it will probably even have "rip off" in the description Mark up codes - so, you get to check out and input a code and instead of a discount it adds to the total Games - for example pay some *** to spin a wheel and depending on the outcome you might "win" or have to pay more Retweet Games - theses ones have to be careful because of time wasters, but usually for every retweet, love, comment the person has to pay a certain amount (not necessarily all at once - there's someone who calls the total a debt and he can repay back in instalments, but, it's also subject to a high rate of interest) or for example Raise the Rate - this is on things like cam sites where, it's pay per minute - raise the rate the longer the call goes on the higher the cost per minute so becomes a game as of how long the person can stay on the line... taking in consideration this is consensual and he could just jump on with someone who isn't going to do this
Deleted Member Posted February 19, 2019 Posted February 19, 2019 Like eyem said if they don’t have the financial sign they are not officially recognised by the website and should be reported as they will be scammers. Dont behave like you are desperate and attract this kind of people. Be patient
LeatherOTK Posted February 19, 2019 Posted February 19, 2019 (edited) Ive been told that some genuine dominant women ask for ***.mainly to weed out the scammers.But that encourages findoms,fakes and female scammers.I personally met many men before all this findom stuff started online.They sat feeling comfortable during our introductory meal.Knowing it was just a meal, and if it went further, it was because we Both wanted it.Now the men looking for a Domme are too afraid to meet, and end up playing fake online. Edited February 19, 2019 by LeatherOTK words
ey**** Posted February 19, 2019 Posted February 19, 2019 A lot gets complex. A friend of mine is (or was) very open about enjoying play with a lot of different people. The result of this was that she would get a lot of messages from guys about play, as they felt she was an easy option. She'd seldom reply but, sometimes if perhaps - "these are the places I'm going to be at. Come, say hello - and if we get on and I feel I'd like to play with you then we will" You'd be surprised at how many failed to show - and I'm not sure whether this was a selfish they were only going to come along if they were certain of play - or whether they were now running afraid knowing they might get it. What she'd often get is the odd guy who'd moan about it being too far/awkward whatever and ask her to travel to them. You should see the *** if she'd agree - but - insist on having her petrol *** covered up front. - A lot is contextual. A lot of the ladies I know who are not professional do not insist on any form of gift or ***, just that you show up to a public event they're all intending on attending. The ladies I know who work professional - MOST do insist on a deposit because when the guys no show through ***, malice, etc. then there's still the small matter of the premise hire needing to be paid - plus of course the waste of her time. There are those who don't go to public meets who do say things like "don't come into my inbox without a gift" - not that it stops people, but... in some ways, it's the online version of buying someone a drink in a bar. It's amazing how many guys wouldn't think twice of buying a lady they wanted to attract a drink in a bar, yet oppose violently the "don't contact me without a gift" mentality. I guess it's cos in the former they can get their target drunk...
RosesHaveThorns75 Posted February 20, 2019 Posted February 20, 2019 It really is quite a compleX topic.....well more than it seemed at #1st....Everything involves eXpenses in life generally these days.....men still earn more were told But also contributing some ££ is just showing some commitment really.....even "low maintenance" femmes like myself get eXpenses all the time so yeah.....seems respectfully to me esp when someone has no actual intention(s) of ever going ahead/showing up.....
ey**** Posted February 20, 2019 Posted February 20, 2019 this could also be another topic (might see if we can split off a little bit - but then some is relevant to why talk of *** isn't necessarily a scam) but, yeah, on average men earn more than women - assortment of reasons - but, yep. You get a lot of people who talk about wanting TPE or full time or something like that, yet seem unwilling to part with some of the earnings as part of the exchange. Financial is likely less common in M/f compared to F/m because it's not an exchange in M/f is the male already earns more (though, I did know a young lady in a TPE M/f relationship who DID earn more and did give a sizeable amount to her boyfriend/Dom) But, getting back on topic - there are scams exist on the back of this. I think we'd probably all agree if we got chatting to somebody about play the notion of paying some/all towards a premise hire is fair (it's just a shame some of these premise don't exist) It's interesting of course - I think the majority of women, their biggest concern is that their would be partner won't respect limits - whereas for men it might be that she doesn't look like the picture, or, is gonna scam him. Which also speaks volumes.
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