Newbie

[Deleted Member]

Hi ,,,, new to this and not really sure where to start. 

My friend (mate) and 1 both want to explore D/S relationship we are not in a normal relationship. 

Where do we start ? I would be the sub 

[Bind_and_lick]

Start by setting rules and boundaries. Agree on what is acceptable and what isn't.

[ey****]

I feel this is one of the most common topics.   You know, I did draft a blog post for this type of scenario but never got round to finishing it.

So.

First off - in this instance - drop the concept of 'normal relationship' as that implies D/s is abnormal.  It's a little bug bear and honestly, it will rub some people up - even if we know what you mean.

Where to start?

Well where are you right now?  You've obviously decided to explore D/s but what made you decide to do that? What attracted you both to the idea? What interested you?

I don't believe that two people decide to "try kink" with no ideas at all what they'd like to do - so - have an open and honest talk with each other about what you feel you would both like from this arrangement - both in expediencies, protocol and what type of play/kinks/fetishes might interest you.

Start with the common ground - if you're both interested in activity A - research activity A.

Of course, there will be many things which interest you which you don't even know about - but you said where to start so start with building on what you already know.

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There are many communities as forms of advice; online - this site here is a good example - but start by reading some of the magazine articles, and forums and getting ideas from it - asking questions that are too open won't get you back the responses you want.

In "real life" there are many munches and events - munches in particular are social events - there you will meet lots of people who've been through the same or similar - their relationship might be nothing like you want yours to be, or may have elements you can learn from.

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Once some of the basics slots together, you can then look at next steps and will probably know better the questions to ask.

[Deleted Member]

Sorry if it sounded offensive normal relationship,,, I probably mean relationship of any kind ,,,, thanks for the advice 

Edited February 5, 2019 by Deleted Member

[ey****]

I guess also - in terms of 'normal' - just of course to know that you wanting this is not 'abnormal' :)

[Primecircle]

14 hours ago, MsTee said:

Sorry if it sounded offensive normal relationship,,, I probably mean relationship of any kind ,,,, thanks for the advice 

That’s exactly what I thought you meant.  And didn’t find it offensive

 

Perhaps meet for a drink and discuss what it is about it that you each like and see what crossovers there are.  Then start by exploring the easy stuff and build from there. 

[Mo****]

Do you have a specific fetish? Are you into BDSM? Do you like to give or inflict ***; both? You've already "started" by coming here, your next step is to explore and keep asking questions. Good luck!