Is Submissive Displacement a thing?

[Jezebel-2353]

Brief  summary of the situation ...

My Daddy and I have been together for almost 5 years and recently he met someone new.

He and I hadn't played for a while prior to her even when I ask for it. 

When he found her I he jumped at the chance to have a  better model. This is causing me great anxiety. The best thing that I think I'm feeling is something I can't find the real term for basically is Submissive Displacement. He's taking the toys and playing with her yet neglecting my requests and needs. I've done the talking thing and he just doesn't understand it.

Any advice or guidance would be helpful. 

[ey****]

I think there can be a problem sometimes in cases when new partners are taken on that they get a lot of the attention which can sometimes lead existing partners to feel pushed out.

However, a key part you have said is that you've been playing less prior to him finding someone new - you've also said you've raised communicating and this hasn't helped.

It may be there are reasons he still wishes to continue the relationship with you but he seems to be getting the benefit of being in a relationship with you, without putting in what you need - so, this is obviously not healthy.

I don't know if you need to ultimatum him on your position - or - whether it is time to start looking at partners who would fill your needs.

[Deleted Member]

Hi Jez, This is a sad and scary thing for a submissive. The *** a submissive feels when they place their Dominants needs above their own to such an extent is rarely commented on. This is despite their training and experience as a submissive. Your requests and needs are important, submissive doesn't mean doormat. You've talked and feel he doesn't understand.... That's a scary place to be..... find out what he wants, what's his motivation, what's hers? Is there a place for you still? You'll have to reframe, regroup and know you're allowed to be sad, allowed to grieve what you've come to know and love and rely on as that's changed. I wish you strength and light to stay strong through this 🔥

[Deleted Member]

I think that you should talk to him again,be more clear this time about how he is not fulfilling your needs and make sure he knows that he cannot *** neither you nor the submission you have gifted him. Give him a crystal clear message that you can leave him if need be... 

[Deleted Member]

5 years together is fairly long. Have you not learn from your Dom? 

I don’t want to sound harsh or condescending but you should know it will be coming that way? Are you in a poly relationship? Has it been discussed about this happening? 

Not that it make your situation less emotionally hard for you but always be prepared for this. So he’s got this new sub and like any new things he will busy and forget a bit about you  maybe he’s testing you, waiting for a reaction? A different one than a nice chat? Be a bratty and throw a big tantrum, fight and  mark your territory! 

 

[KCurious]

When you feel things aren’t right or the same that it once was anymore or how you or your dominant wanted it to be. 

Maybe making changes by fighting(not physically ) for answers why he is being like that or having a serious communication with him to maintain your relationship or it’s time to process everything and come to a conclusion that he’s just a passenger that pass by he wasn’t meant to be in your whole life just part of it because sometimes they aren’t meant to be yours always. Though you have memories to keep and cherish dearly. 

Then start exploring another adventure that could be within or without this lifestyle , I know it isn’t easy , it’s hard but you will reach wherever and or whatever you want by easing yourself for a fresh start one that you may never know until you do try. 

All the best 😊☘️ 

I also apologise if I have in any way offended you.