25km search for active members

[Lombardo43]

I look on here and have a search criteria of 25km as not into long distance relationships. Of about the 40 girls that come onto the list, I'd say 30 havn't logged in for between 3 and 11 months and some of the rest are after *** leaving just a half dozen. My point is that on initial search with lots of girls showing up,all appears good for at least a few chats to see what can happen but this isn't really a true reflection of the fetish.com experience as most are not active. Is this a tactic to make it appear you can make lots of friends on here but can't in practice? Can something be done about this, ie. after 1 month profiles don't come up on the search which will give a true reflection of what this site can offer? Or am i missing something on how to search, ie, you can search only active members.

[De****]

Hello, you can sort by who was online recently. This should narrow down your search :-)

[ey****]

I've found the filters do make it much easier to see : I think these are factors that will naturally increase anyway the more positive the site is.

[Lombardo43]

Interesting, did a last online a week ago based searched and only one profile is left and she was a 'no thanks. 

[Lombardo43]

Also, last 3 weeks.Same result.

[Lombardo43]

The change to 50km gets me 35 profiles.Maybe my area isn't kinky!

[ey****]

on mine - I get 21 who've logged in within a week within 25km

within 50km I get 34

None of those are pros etc. 

[ey****]

generally - this is a by YMMV - but I think the idea of trawling can be off-putting

so, checking for new or returning members to message them - this often leads to bombardment for the members and also a little off-putting : I think it's difficult to balance.  But one to be cautious.

[Deleted Member]

If I set search radius to 50km then i get 11 female members who have logged in during the last week.

I think setting such a low search radius is bound to do this. You have to put in the effort to find the right person.

Most people don't write back if you message them, why should they? It's a matter of personal choice. Some people like to meet first I.R.L at an event or a munch. Some people may not think your kink and theirs is compatible. You have to do the hard yards to make connections.

[BigPolly]

If there’s no one in your area on here then why don’t you change tactics slightly, use this site as a general social tool & information board & then try & meet people to date at Munches.

[Lombardo43]

Thanks Polly.Suppose I would describe myself as very social one to one or a few people but very hesitant in crowds of people I don't know.Hence I have never plucked up courage to try munchies. But i suppose that's my problem to get over.

[Deleted Member]

Lombardo I feel for you fellow kinkster. And there is no recipe or real statistic on how you will be lucky. I used 5 differents platforms. And been lucky on the 3 differents one. Some subs from here, some on the other 2. You juts have to be patient, some come to you curious or intrigued about your profile, some you have to charm them and make them trust you. I am sure you know that its not because there are registred that they are actively seeking someone. Some just want to learn, look around, have a feeling, get confidence and maybe jump into the real 

good luck

[ey****]

in terms of online, also - my findings from other sites

some of the general, but kink-friendly, dating sites seemingly return a few results - but when you take out those that are not kinky - it doesn't leave too many (though, one site I had a few matches with people I know, some of which a bit "lolno" meant in the nicest way) 

there's another kink-centric but not dating-centric website and while that does again return a lot of local matches, by the time you remove those mono and in relationship, or poly and not looking, etc. it again leaves a much narrower field.

It's the nature as such.  But, work with what's available.

[Deleted Member]

As others have said, patience and be sincere about both yourself and with the people who come looking. All good things come to those who wait. Good luck

[South1]

I have my fingers crossed for you. At least your only getting a few chats down the line and not screwed over a few months down the line. Someone will pop up that you deserve! Maybe try getting on fetlife! Game change I promise!