Nothing but Oral/Rated

[Darkpuppy]

So, I am an asexual kinkster. I also am extremely introverted and quiet in general. I not great at dating sites cuase I dislike indulging a lot of personal information. I tend to have a very long list of things I will do as far as BDSM. I do have very few hard limits but one of them is oral. However, it seems many of the people I keep meeting or trying to date have it as an absolute demand. They been telling me that normal people in adult relationships expect oral. It's just the absolute expected norm and I should just learn how to do it. I also had people say it was okay to not do it and *** it later when I was uncomfortable with it. Like is there really no way to get around this cuase I feel like there is a number of other ways people can find pleasure. I also generally am open to compromise on most things but this thing is a very hard pass. I also have a extreme *** kink and like I generally can't really get anywhere without it. I had partners before who were extremely kinky and didn't require  oral but I found them by accident. I didn't court them we were freinds and the relationship kind of just happened. They were usually ex porn stars or been in the sex industry in some form. So I kind of got the impression they were kind burnt out on sex and they mostly just seemed to be wanting intimacy. They were also super kinky and Indulged thier kinks. What should I do about this? I never actively sought out dates. 

Edited February 6, 2023 by Darkpuppy

[Alastor_19]

Be up front, I personally hate giving/getting oral and I find it's best to mention it early

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Alastor_19 said:

Be up front, I personally hate giving/getting oral and I find it's best to mention it early

Why ??

[Sy****]

Food belongs in your mouth, if anyone ***s you to do oral remember the monologue about that in shawshank redemption

[Sy****]

A blowjob is like a handshake, it seals a deal made with love, if you love someone you will want to do new things with them and that will come up because youre human and we put stuff we like inside of us becaude thats as close to us as we can get it. If youre egoless start developing better math like allen turing did.

[ab****]

Went out with a girl for 4 years who never once went down on me. It kinda bugged me cos I like being sucked (obviously) but I’d she didn’t do it out of her own enjoyment I wasn’t going to ask her to do it for mine. ***fully or otherwise.
If it’s a limit and it’s stated it should be respected like anything else in my opinion 🤷‍♂️

[Lord_Talion]

My lady, met her here, and I are quite the match when it comes to most things, but she doesn't like giving oral while of course enjoying receiving it quite a bit and I'm fine with that.
Every relationship will have its compromises if you want it to work. It's all give n take. In the end it's just the connection that matters the most and everything else can be figured out.
It sounds like you already ha e the connection. So you do you, they do them and in between yall will make it work

[CptDetroit]

A boundary is a boundary - PERIOD.

Personally, I could never date nor be a Dom to someone who didn’t suck my cock or enjoy their pussy kicked by me; so, if someone communicated to me that they are not into it, I would know right away that we were not a match.

[Ch****]

If it's a hard limit, it's a Hard Limit. No one should ever pressure a hard Limit.
If it's a Soft Limit, then this activity should be appraised with care, sensitivity, negotiation, with no expectations on outcome ... Just like any Soft Limit.

[AZ****]

1 hour ago, BobbyGetton said:

A boundary is a boundary - PERIOD.

Personally, I could never date nor be a Dom to someone who didn’t suck my cock or enjoy their pussy kicked by me; so, if someone communicated to me that they are not into it, I would know right away that we were not a match.

Exactly! If people know what they are getting up front and then try to spin it, that is on them, not you.

[fe****]

I could care less about oral sex as long as I can have anal sex with her I am happy

[Ha****]

Oral on me does absolutely nothing for me.
My fetish is hj only and i cant count how many woman still do it but then they seem disappointed when i lose interest.
Nobody knows yourself like you so why do so many not listen.
Respect goes along way.

[Deleted Member]

I’m confused as to why a self described asexual person is trying to date someone who is sexual at all? I feel like that’s your first mistake.

[Darkpuppy]

36 minutes ago, PillowPrincess1 said:

I’m confused as to why a self described asexual person is trying to date someone who is sexual at all? I feel like that’s your first mistake.

Generally, they will pretend to be okay with it and then change their mind about it later. I am okay doing other things. Not that I am that into everything a sexual might want. Generally open to things as long as I not strongly bothered by them. It just happens oral is one of those things that strongly bothers me. I also explored other kinks that were not my kinks but very much my partners. Those kinks were not kinks I was strongly opposed to though. 

Edited February 9, 2023 by Darkpuppy

[Needoral]

As someone who would wish a partner who is heavily into oral, I would still say that if it is a hard limit for you, it should be respected. A partner who is not into oral would not be for me, however good a match we were in other ways. I agree with those on here who have stated that this should be agreed as a hard limit at the outset. Someone can try and coax you to accept if they must, but should not EXPECT you to change your limits for them unless it suits you, and you alone.