Adivce of how to get into BDSM

[considering-it]

Hi there,

At the moment I am heavily considering getting into BDSM. I've always wanted to try these things but all the relationships that I've had before have been very vanilla. I am a 25 year old male that's interested in dominating a woman.

I'm quite nervous about reaching out to somebody of this website or others for sex so I was hoping that somebody here could give me come very candied advice about how to go about that if i choose to, what to expect and what the risks concerning things like public exposure, cat fishing, meeting dangerous individuals and STDs ect.

Thanks

[ey****]

you kinda want a lot of information in one go - and it's probably best to look at things in bite size.

what does "considering getting into" mean - and to you what does "Dominating a woman" mean - you then seem to talk a lot about sex - rather than anything else that you're interested in trying or doing.

There are posts around the forum about cat fishing, public exposure and dangerous individuals are full topics within themselves.

For me - start by having a little think about what actually interests you and what you want to get out of it - and, it's probably best you have a plan to learn some skills first.....

[BigPolly]

As well as @eyemblacksheep has said, hang around here, look at the various articles, post questions on here, see what other people are asking or talking about, maybe go into the chat rooms. You could also branch out to local Munches in your area or maybe attending a fetclub or a fetish event. We all started somewhere so just take things slowly & be prepared to keep changing your mind about things as you learn about new kinks/ways but the most important thing is to have fun....you’re amongst friends here 😊

[Deleted Member]

I would advice you to be patient and learn, dont rush it, you will learn things eventually and follow what bigpolly and eyesmblacksheep said, its what i was advised to do and it has really helped me out

[Deleted Member]

Slowly does it , as fun and wonderful as it can be there are still rules and risks . Listen to the advise and chill 😃

[Deleted Member]

I think @eyemblacksheep makes a very important point. It would be helpful to look inside yourself and examine what you want to get out of BDSM or other kinky play. Dominating a woman can have many different motivations behind it, and you should put some thought to what it is that you want to get out of dominating or you may find yourself having disappointing experiences.

For example, I'm now Dom-curious after ages of submissive play. I like to flout taboos---that may be my core turn-on. One taboo that I've never played with is hurting people or manipulating them, because not deliberately hurting people is a big part of my personality. Well, I now want to explore that. I'm now considering what kinds of men might make compatible playmates as I do things like squeeze his balls harder and harder as I suck him, waiting for him to finally use a safe word.

It will probably sound corny, but you have to find your truth, or at least what journeys will lead to the truth.

Edited March 2, 2019 by Deleted Member
Left out important example

[ey****]

15 minutes ago, BeautifilCurvyGoddes said:

Google about findom and what findom actually is. There are a variety of kinks along with fetishes. Some are safe and others are very extreme, either way us as being a dominatrix we have to be safe and sane not to mention it's about emotional care, after care and safe word's for when your sub is hurting just to name a few.

I'm honestly not sure what Findom has to do with this post.  

[KCurious]

Hey there - “considering it”,  not here to give you advice but just what I think I would do if I was in your position which I was once except vice versa - curious what is a submissive; am I a submissive and what kind of dynamics I would like to explore into and how to reach out. Lastly I’m younger than you - not that age is a matter in my opinion. (You might want to look at dominantion I did a little bit but most of my research are based on more the submissive side). 

First in my opinion naming yourself “considering it” seems like a start ! 

I looked  at articles , blogs , videos and books. 

There are certain range of topics I looked into such as; safeword , after care , soft limits , hard limits , communication , trust , confidence , sub/ dom drop , subspace , TPE , punishments , rules and most of all consensual in everything.  

Also what types of d/ s relationship I was looking for. Bare in mind if you want more than just a d/s relationship so like bf / gf or other types of relationship you need to know who you are in that moment and who she or he is to you at that moment or it could really be a downfall to your relationship as a whole. (Don’t worry even if it happens because a life isn’t a straight line it’s a rollercoaster ups and downs ) 😊

I checked out the Lobby and other GC rooms. There are I would say some nice people on there and are professional and knowing the whole lifestyle. Another is exploring different clubs , munchies , societies etc. 

I started of by talking to others like PM them if what they said or did caught my attention. 

 

All the the best and have fun ! ☘️😋