M\s dynamic

[Deleted Member]

Questions in a M\s dynamic both good and bad punishments have to be apart of the dynamic for it to work it can’t only be one punishment correct?
Especially for an online M\s dynamic??

[ey****]

this feels like you're witholding what you're really asking

as part of any dynamic, the concept of "punishments" have to be mutually agreeable.  if you're trying to dish out punishments and the other person disagrees, then there is a mismatch on both of your dynamics 

[Lord_Talion]

I e always told my slaves to make a list of their top 5 treats as well as their top 5 punishments cause bad behavior grants punishment, but going above n beyond their duties to please me deserves a treat

[Deleted Member]

@eyemblacksheepyou said it has to be agreed up on then would you have a slave that only wants “good punishment” even when she does something bad and should be getting “bad punishments” to discipline her

[Deleted Member]

My guy you don't have to have any punishments 🤷

[Cheekysub247]

I think what was meant by agreed is like what has been described, both agreeing what a 'bad' punishment would be. There would be things a person wouldnt enjoy but do them, even a maso can be 'punished' maybe with an impact item they really dont like to have used on them, but its agreed before hand by both it can be used.
X x

[CopperKnob]

Punishments don't "have" to be present in any D/s relationship in any shape form or number

[QXX666]

There is no such a thing as online M/s relationship, it’s a 24/7 engagement.
I am really amused with perplexity to read recently in the forum that people think submission equal punishment !! Not sure if they really know what’s submission is about…

[BruiseWayne]

There's lots of videos you can look up on YT that detail the different types of punishments through lots of different dynamics.

 

Ms. Elle X's vids are pretty informative, you should give her a look.

 

OL, RL, doesn't matter. Same concepts apply. A 'good punishment' is mostly for fun. They're looked on as a 'funishment', if you've never heard that term before. A 'bad punishment' is saved for when the slave has crossed one of the pre-determined boundaries you've set for yourself and for them to the point of where it's not just a cheeky bit of misbehaving, defiance, or mischief on their part any more but something that actually legitimately disrespects you as a Dominant individual or your position as their specific Dom(me)/Owner/Sir/Mommy/Daddy etc etc.

 

Bad punishments aren't mean to be enjoyable in any way but at the same time they shouldn't cross one of the slave's hard limits. So there's a sweet spot of finding something they don't like that also doesn't make them truly uncomfortable on some deep emotional of visceral level they ultimately can't handle.

 

Hope that helps.

 

 

[ey****]

4 hours ago, RAHEEMD said:

@eyemblacksheepyou said it has to be agreed up on then would you have a slave that only wants “good punishment” even when she does something bad and should be getting “bad punishments” to discipline her

Different people are into different things.  If you crave to give out "bad punishments" and the sub does not agree then they are not the sub for you.

The big problem also within yourself is if you are doing "bad punishments" as means of "discipline" that it is fair, proportional and consistent - because there is a line here that strays into ***.  You have to have clear rules and boundaries on what would constitute a "bad punishment"

Myself.  I am personally completely uninterested in a relationship with a sub that involved "bad punishments" - it's not my jam - this doesn't mean there's anything wrong with it.  But there's a few times where there's been Dominants obsess over subs not taking "their punishment" and it is because there's a compatibility mismatch rather than anything either is doing wrong.  

[Deleted Member]

Looks like you’re trying to fit/play a predetermined role.
“….for it to work”; that’s determined by you, not the sub.
Best to move on if you’re getting resistance from them.

[Jo****]

It can be however the two consenting adults decide... I suggest more talking with your partner if you are feeling unsure

[Deleted Member]

Friend, your question and follow up comments read as borderline -r@pey. I HIGHLY suggest you do some deep soul searching about what consent and the fact that your playmate is also a *person* mean to you.... ESPECIALLY if you got mad reading this.

(In fact, if you're not OP and you got mad reading this... It's for you, too 💗)

[Deleted Member]

Since not everyone gets what am asking let me rephrase it.

I am talking to a potential partner about starting a online M/s dynamic we came across punishments which she likes because it turns her on, fine that’s nice, but as she is a brat and will challenge authority I propose not just having “good punishments” ONLY but also bad punishments.

Being a brat is fine but when it becomes disrespectful to the dom then am I suppose to punish her with funishments?? Which will in turn not only get her to be more disobedient but also goes against the core value of a M/s is which is OBEDIENCE and SERVICE

[CopperKnob]

6 hours ago, RAHEEMD said:

Since not everyone gets what am asking let me rephrase it.

I am talking to a potential partner about starting a online M/s dynamic we came across punishments which she likes because it turns her on, fine that’s nice, but as she is a brat and will challenge authority I propose not just having “good punishments” ONLY but also bad punishments.

Being a brat is fine but when it becomes disrespectful to the dom then am I suppose to punish her with funishments?? Which will in turn not only get her to be more disobedient but also goes against the core value of a M/s is which is OBEDIENCE and SERVICE

Heres the thing, there are no 'core values" and you aren't 'supposed' to do anything
Your relationship is your relationship
You need to discuss whay she brats, what she needs when she does, at what point you will feel that the bratting is disrespectful, how you'll communicate that to her.
Why not ask her what she'll feels the difference between funishment/punishment is and when and why either will be used. I mean ultimately it's online so she'll be administering them herself so 🤷‍♀️

[BruiseWayne]

7 hours ago, RAHEEMD said:

Which will in turn not only get her to be more disobedient but also goes against the core value of a M/s is which is OBEDIENCE and SERVICE

This is what I was talking about earlier. But this is for you two to decide if that's going to work for you. She might not like the idea of 'bad' punishments, but if you feel you have no way to regain control over her without them, and if you feel like everything you do is only suited towards satisfying HER needs even when she acts up without respecting your position as a Dominant individual you need to make that clear to her and if she's not okay with that then you two aren't compatible.

 

I know personally with an overly bratty sub this would really put me off too and make me feel like I was just there to be a Dominant kink dispenser and service all the sub's needs without having my own in return respected or catered to.

Edited February 13, 2023 by BruiseWayne

[Deleted Member]

Finally someone understood what I meant I am not a retard not because I see someone describe themselves as submissive means that I as a dom have the automatic right to dominate that person no I’d want someone to willingly submit to me because they trust me and because I earned that submission as a Man and as a Dom. It goes to show that most of you don’t read, I post a question and instead of really understanding what is written you form your own narrative of the situation and ran with it yes I am interested in r*pe play but I will never ever *** someone to do so yes she likes being a slave but at the end of the day she is still a human being and so am I, I don’t think being submissive equals punishment even soft doms have their bottom lines that a sub should not cross and when a sub crosses that line what are you going to do pat her head and say good job that’s like having your kid telling you to f**k off and you gave them a cookie instead of reprimanding them

[Deleted Member]

And yea she agreed with bad punishment as a solution in case she goes over that line again

[CopperKnob]

20 minutes ago, RAHEEMD said:

Finally someone understood what I meant I am not a retard not because I see someone describe themselves as submissive means that I as a dom have the automatic right to dominate that person no I’d want someone to willingly submit to me because they trust me and because I earned that submission as a Man and as a Dom. It goes to show that most of you don’t read, I post a question and instead of really understanding what is written you form your own narrative of the situation and ran with it yes I am interested in r*pe play but I will never ever *** someone to do so yes she likes being a slave but at the end of the day she is still a human being and so am I, I don’t think being submissive equals punishment even soft doms have their bottom lines that a sub should not cross and when a sub crosses that line what are you going to do pat her head and say good job that’s like having your kid telling you to f**k off and you gave them a cookie instead of reprimanding them

You meant to type "thank you for everyones input"
You're welcome

[ey****]

what I get a little interested in here

especially as this is your lines, not hers

what type of things would constitute as requiring a "bad punishment" 

and I guess, how would you punish your child if they told you to "F*ck off" 

I'm just interested here

[QXX666]

9 hours ago, RAHEEMD said:

Since not everyone gets what am asking let me rephrase it.

I am talking to a potential partner about starting a online M/s dynamic we came across punishments which she likes because it turns her on, fine that’s nice, but as she is a brat and will challenge authority I propose not just having “good punishments” ONLY but also bad punishments.

Being a brat is fine but when it becomes disrespectful to the dom then am I suppose to punish her with funishments?? Which will in turn not only get her to be more disobedient but also goes against the core value of a M/s is which is OBEDIENCE and SERVICE

Some of us perfectly understood you, you just didn’t read properly our reply. Also you didn’t mentioned it was a potential and brat person. 
As I mentioned and it’s your right to do so, you are not a Master and she’s not a slave. And this is why your dynamic started on a wrong path. She likes punishment that’s fine, she might be masochist, but a submissive doesn’t thrive/flourish through punishment. Your mind set on submission is erroneous from the start. Sorry. 

[QXX666]

When I communicate and connect with a potential submissive I asked her why she decided to chose that lifestyle and depending her response we established and agreed on the way she will go through that path. 

[Deleted Member]

My question was not properly written as I was in a hurry I get that that’s my fault most of the response I have no problem with, yes thank you for your help but going as far as saying my question is borderline *** 🤦‍♂️ coming up with a solution far a problem is considered borderline ***. Let me ask a question many of you are doms if you had a talk with your sub let’s say she’s a brat right, as doms you have your bottom line that should not be cross you ask her what she likes she says punishments, you ask her what should you do if she cross your bottom line she said give her funishments would you actually give her something that would encourage her to cross your bottom line again??genuine question???

[Deleted Member]

@eyemblacksheep I actually liked your responses as I had a small conversation with you outside of here very small, I know these are my responses and questions not hers which is why am trying not to ***t her as a bad person she’s a nice girl I’ve asked her to speak in here she said no, I asked her yesterday after seeing someone say my question is borderline ***, I even screenshot the response to my questions and sent them to her. To answer your question one of my rules were “if we got into an argument do not use any racial slurs or mention of my family and if I your child ( I don’t have any) told you to “f*** off” you either slap on the wrist 5 time with enough *** to let them know that they are wrong or tell them to squat in a corner facing the wall for 30minutes 🤷🏿

[CopperKnob]

In many countries hitting a child is illegal. It's also preety ineffective