Dom with lack of experience seeking tips

March 7, 2019

Hello everyone. I'm new here and would like some tips from both doms and subs on what would make me a better a dom in a dom/sub relationship.

I'm currently single, but in past relationships I've explored the dom side with my submissive partners. I found communication was key throughout as well as establishing not just what I wanted, but what they wanted too. I'm quite keen on tieing up/rope play but my partner in the last serious relationship I was in did not like being tied up, so I was unable to explore that.

I met some subs in my time who said they had doms who thought that outright aggression with no consideration for the sub was what it was all about. I diasgree with that thought process.

Any advice would be welcome and taken onboard.

Thanks!

March 8, 2019

I feel ultimately it comes down to understanding that every sub is different and has different wants and needs. There's no universal solution. Because of this, of course an acceptance that you won't be compatible with everyone and being able to have a little bit flexibility to be happy in what you make work.

March 8, 2019

Communication is probaby the most effective tool in making any relationship work. Every person is different and so are their wants and needs, it is important to also communicate limits both hard and soft.

It could be useful to attend some workshops or seminars on subjects you are interested in learning more about, there are plenty of good rope jams and ***r rope groups where you could learn the ropes so to speak

March 8, 2019

For me Confidence is key! Whether you are experienced or not, confidence will give a great impression. Confidence in taking control, the way you carry yourself, asking questions, listening, using tools & toys & having the Confidence to laugh when things go a bit wrong.

March 8, 2019

Communication

agreement with limits and hard limits

respect and care

learn about ropes and how to tied up end where not on the body.

For your *** part, not listening subs with that kind of statement obviously either it’s fantasy or fakes.

March 9, 2019

Thanks for your replies and help, everyone. I really appreciate it.

I'll look into some workshops in my area (if there any) to learn some roleplay. I suppose bars and handcuffs will do for now! Laughter for me is a key part of sex as I feel it bonds us together more, increasing trust with each other. Plus, it's always good to laugh at funny things anyway!

I try to accommodate to my subs needs and wants, I'm quite flexible. It's all about having experiences for me so trying new things/accommodating for different things is all part of learning and developing.

Thanks for your help, everyone!