Sw**** Posted March 16, 2019 Posted March 16, 2019 (edited) Where do you turn when a *** has gone to far for you? I am new new to Bdsm and I have been issued a punishment that has really badly affected me. I have no friends who are kinks who I can discuss this with other than my mistress and I am to genuinely scared of her just now Edited March 16, 2019 by Switchingchannels
ey**** Posted March 17, 2019 Posted March 17, 2019 the word "no" should always be available. Explain that you cannot do this. Explain why. If the response to this is "you shall do as I say" then they're not the Mistress for you. If the response is to work with you on this - then there's potential. Obviously if there's a genuine reason for a punishment this has to be taken - but - it can still be appropriate within your limits.
Ra**** Posted March 17, 2019 Posted March 17, 2019 Honest and open communication are the basis of this lifestyle. If something scared you, you should tell the person you trusted with your body that what happened scared you and why. They might not even be aware that they have gone too far because that might not be an issue for them. If you are ever in a relationship there should also be a safeword or like eyemblacksheep said, you can say no if it is too much for you. Just remember that you have trusted this person enough to be in this place with them, so you should also trust them enough to have an honest and open communication. Also, if your limits have not been discussed, this is definitely a good time to do so. Research is available everywhere. RESEARCH, RESEARCH, RESEARCH, because it's a way of learning how to protect yourself as best as you can as well.
ElleFire Posted March 18, 2019 Posted March 18, 2019 First, you should definitely talk with your Mistress, as RavenSass and eyemblacksheep have said. That said, as a fairly new sub myself I know there are things that come up that you thing you'll be okay with but that affect you later. It is still your responsibility to inform your Mistress. Second, I've found the online chat community here to be amazingly supportive. You can ask a question or just listen in. If I'm around I'm happy to "plant" an issue you'd like to hear commentary on!
StateOfMind-4472 Posted March 18, 2019 Posted March 18, 2019 I'm a newcomer to the site but have been in the lifestyle for a while. Please remember that you have rights. Safe and consensual should always be on the forefront. Having said that, I have no idea what your contract is with your Mistress or what Her motivation was to issue the punishment. Please consider telling Her what you feel in an open, and frank way, as well as discussing limits and safe words. Good luck!
VivicaDivine Posted March 19, 2019 Posted March 19, 2019 Hello there , I am new here although I’m already a Dom. As a Dom I would expect my Sub to do what I say when I say it .However there should always be an element of trust even within a basic arrangement and a safe word should be set early on. Perimeters should have been discussed.You have the right to say no . And you always have the right to walk away.
IndyRox Posted March 20, 2019 Posted March 20, 2019 Punishment is not a one size fits all activity. Your Mistress should be tailoring your punishments to your personality and behavior. You can’t just run around flogging subs, as as example. Limits and boundaries are not a one time conversation, it should be ever evolving. However, it is your job as a sub to let your Mistress know when something is unsettling. If she doesn’t listen, I would seriously question the arrangement.
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