BDSM dichotomy

[Toucan]

I noticed that most people in ds gravitate towards one of two interpretations: they either focus on practices they enjoy (lift me up on an anal hook, and I'm done for), or the power dynamics (I need to feel fragile and valuable), and they rarely overlap. The former generally don't care about emotional context, and the latter are not hung up on particular practices. Which camp are you from?

[ey****]

I don't see these as mutually exclusive 

[Toucan]

Not objectively, but I observe the trend pretty vividly.

[Sw****]

I definitely have one foot in both camps!

[Toucan]

Can you say more? You have preferred practices, but they don't work on their own?

[Mi****]

I implore both and see evidence of physical play and emotional dynamics overlapping all the time. They go hand in hand.

[Sw****]

Yes, I absolutely need to feel valuable in order for me to get into that “space”.

[Toucan]

MisterUp, for sure, never said otherwise

[Toucan]

Subbie, but you are very specific about the practices you prefer?

[Deleted Member]

Removing the emotional aspect is always going to be a mistake, creating a dynamic where you’re always searching for the perfect kink scene - like a high. It’s the downfall of the human race in my opinion. For me it’s all emotional. The kink doesn’t work without it.

[Mi****]

I think it depends entirely on the nature of the relationship. I’ve had play partners where we focus on the physical aspect. I’ve also had partners that aren’t masochists and it revolves more around power exchange and mental BDSM. I enjoy both and my preference is to have a good balance.

[Toucan]

1 hour ago, PillowPrincess1 said:

Removing the emotional aspect is always going to be a mistake, creating a dynamic where you’re always searching for the perfect kink scene - like a high. It’s the downfall of the human race in my opinion. For me it’s all emotional. The kink doesn’t work without it.

That's a very interesting comparison! I don't want to promote one over the other tbh, especially since I'm leaning heavily myself. But I get how focusing on the physical can lead to runaway outcomes. But mental can do this, too

[QXX666]

Not sure where you got this theory from but it’s totally wrong. All bdsm relationship are different from SM to Ddlg. My past Ds were interlaced between impact play and power mind games. It’s very rare to find an emotionless dynamic even!

[Toucan]

6 minutes ago, QXX666 said:

Not sure where you got this theory from but it’s totally wrong. All bdsm relationship are different from SM to Ddlg. My past Ds were interlaced between impact play and power mind games. It’s very rare to find an emotionless dynamic even!

Sigh. I didn't say there were "emotionless dynamics". As if there's emotionless anything. As if people don't feel things constantly.

[Mi****]

13 minutes ago, Toucan said:

Sigh. I didn't say there were "emotionless dynamics". As if there's emotionless anything. As if people don't feel things constantly.

To be fair, your original premise was that the physical and emotional aspects of BDSM “rarely overlap” and I think people are just pointing out that in their experience they often do.

[littlemiss37]

I didn't know me doing activities gave me that high feeling then the emotional side for being in contact with the other person x

[Toucan]

47 minutes ago, MisterUp said:

To be fair, your original premise was that the physical and emotional aspects of BDSM “rarely overlap” and I think people are just pointing out that in their experience they often do.

It wasn't. It was about people's priorities. I guess another way of looking at it is: what is the first thing a person says when you ask them, "Why are you into that?" or "What is ds?". That's why I said "interpretations". This has nothing to do with exclusion. We all do both, of course. I just noticed it really helps find people I vibe with.

[TxFrank]

Just a whole lot of nope here. I thrive on both of those aforementioned aspects. And they don't really do anything for me when done separately.

[Toucan]

Okay I give up

[QXX666]

9 minutes ago, Toucan said:

Okay I give up

You said “you noticed “so I guess you done some research or had many messages from kinksters supporting your theory. 
maybe it’s lost in translation ? Give us an example or testimony to enlighten us? 

[Lord_Talion]

Emotional. I wantnto do everything to protect my little

[Deleted Member]

Bdsm is the sex life, the emotional aspect is the dynamic.. both are not exclusive to the other .. lots of people love kinky fuckery and don't want a T/b dynamic .. and lots in a dynamic don't practice bdsm .. we are all ndividuals.
When chatting and vetting starts then you will notice chat change, some vet kinks first and some people want to know who you are as a person first. I love the diversity

[Pa****]

I'm in both camps... Although I suppose there are some that do one without the other.