Pet Names To a Stranger?

[Bl****]

It's weird to me how some people will contact a complete stranger with pet names like baby, honey, etc and it's like who the f**k are you? I don't know why but it feels low-key disrespectful because I'm not down for strangers doing that and not sure why it seems okay.

Might be just me, who knows! I am a hardass and being a very independent woman in my day to day it seems icky.

Do people have issues with this? How do people feel about it? Yay or nay?

[CopperKnob]

I dislike it also, always have but I accept that some of it will be cultural

[wo****]

Question: Do you react differently when you are in a restaurant and the waitress calls you hon, sweetie, or honey? Or does that also upset you deeply?

[Th****]

It's definitely not just you. Can't stand this and it makes me so uncomfortable. Whenever someone calls me a pet name immediately I usually politely offer my name and tell them I'd prefer they use that instead. If it continues, I'll give them exactly one friendly reminder lol. After that it's the block button lol

[un****]

personally some of it is cultural for me but generally i try to avoid it till i can gauge a vibe what i do have issues with however is being given titles in a very short time like 10-20 minutes and i’m just like why i barely know you nothing has been established yet

[Deleted Member]

Honestly I’ve been polite to people when I message them I’ve done this for years I don’t think it calling someone pet names and saying wanna bang off the frist message to well the message where they say. Yes

[wo****]

To be clear, I am not asking my question above because I disagree with you - I’m simply asking to see where that line is. For some it doesn’t exist. For some it is based on length of time. For some it’s never acceptable. Just wondering what your perspective is.

[x2****]

Also could be generational as some time ago it was generally accepted way to address a unknown person of any gender in such a manner.

[Wi****]

Yes. It’s problematic. I’ve had a few matches with people just making assumptions and using names.

[ho****]

I grew up in south Texas and back home it’s not uncommon at all. Southern hospitality I suppose

[Ra****]

I take it as just a universal way of calling someone you don't know the name of, something like dear, for example. I usually use it in that way, but for some people it can be uncomfortable (like yourself). In those cases I just use whatever they prefer

[ph****]

I put it in my description that I would suggest against it. If they don’t know what “suggest” means wtf ever.

[st****]

Agree with all above x

[bo****]

It's the person, I suppose, but I agree with undead. It's normal in the south for people to call you pet names. Usually it's women. I was in the military, stationed in southern bases, so I picked it up. When I got out and moved back to Chicago, I was told by several women, including my future wife, that's It's rude/ignorant to call women honey/sweetie/dear. Fast forward 15years. We move to WV, and one day after a few months my wife apologized to me. Why? Because EVERYONE does that in the south and she realized I wasn't being a chauvinistic pig. Lol.

[Ae****]

Oh, you're not the only one. I get not knowing names or wanting to he "friendly," but it crosses boundaries in my opinion. I hate when people demand me to call them a certain title without establishing boundaries! I've noticed it a lot in the lifestyle. I say to just say f it and tell them you aren't comfortable and to not refer you by those names unless stated other wise.

[Bl****]

4 minutes ago, Raven05 said:

I take it as just a universal way of calling someone you don't know the name of, something like dear, for example. I usually use it in that way, but for some people it can be uncomfortable (like yourself). In those cases I just use whatever they prefer

Oh no i dont mean like neutral ones like Dear im talking more baby names like hey doll or babygirl.

[Bl****]

6 minutes ago, holland550 said:

I grew up in south Texas and back home it’s not uncommon at all. Southern hospitality I suppose

I am also from the South so some are okay but when I get a babydoll, babygirl, doll, etc it goes into creepy intimacy that isn't deserved levels for me. I'm from Kentucky, btw.

[Deleted Member]

100% agree with you. Gives me the ick so fast.

[Co****]

I dont take offence as such, and assume that's just how they are.
But I either wouldn't bother engaging, or if I did, not for long .

[Ra****]

Got you... well, I come from a country where this is quite normal, so I'm used to it. But I do understand what you mean by getting this feeling of crossing some boundaries.

[Deleted Member]

I'm a person that uses pet names often and I also like to be called them as well. Age and experience has taught me to be careful at first for the very reason this topic was started. For some it's instant cringe! I think it's best and easiest to be kind but up front with them if they have crossed a boundary. Usually no offense was meant Great topic....hun. ;)

[Ob****]

I also don’t really like it and find it quite icky. But I do understand sometimes it just that persons way of talking to everyone. But there is a point where it crosses a boundary and for me becomes outright disrespectful.. maybe when it assumes more of an intimate relationship than actually is, like referring to me like I am their sub/baby girl and they’re my dom/daddy, when nothing of the sort actually exists.

[Deleted Member]

I absolutely hate it you don't know me well enough to call me a pet name I get where you're coming from with it

[Ha****]

Agree with the above as it assumes a familiarity that is impossible to exist without already knowing someone and can have misogynistic overtones, but with one exception eg if their username is something like babygirl123 then "hi babygirl" should be acceptable.

[x-****]

I am old fashioned.  That being said, I prefer a gentleman get to know me.  Pet names happen along the way of getting to know one another.  To me, those special names have meaning behind them.

💙💎