ETA on finding someone..

[st****]

  4 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

"Only ever met one person and even then it wasn't exactly my first preference" - I bet she'd be charmed if she read that!!
.
"Gotta take what you can get if you're a male" - equally charming!! As a male myself I can assure you I would sooner meet no-one than "take what I can get"
.
As eyem quite rightly suggested if it's "easier" for women than men, who do you think those women are meeting? Perhaps it's men that don't "take what they can get" or see them as a second best!!

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Okay whatever

[st****]

  17 minutes ago, eyemblacksheep said:

who do you think these WOMEN are dating?  Cos surely if it's easy they're matching with men - so is as easy for men

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There's far more men then women on the apps

[ge****]

  5 minutes ago, stoke-on-trent954 said:

There's far more men then women on the apps

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There are for sure - but when you take away those men who don't "get" how to make the apps work for them, then the balance is a lot more even.
.
So ask yourself, do you want to be one of those men, or figure out how to make them work for you?
.
Let me give you a hint - "taking what you can get" and labelling someone as "not my first preference" isn't the right way!!

[ey****]

the thing is as well. this isn't like a cheese counter where you grab a ticket, wait for your name, and hope what you want is left.

no one has to pick you - and, similarly, messaging someone cos they'll "have to do" isn't going to end well for either. 

like, stuff you can do which boosts chances (including being picky yourself on who you message; being mindful, having a good approach) but also making yourself visible.

I met up with someone yesterday for play, meeting up with someone else this Sunday. They all know about each other. Why this is happening? Cos I've made positive impressions on them

[littlemiss37]

  2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

the thing is as well. this isn't like a cheese counter where you grab a ticket, wait for your name, and hope what you want is left.

no one has to pick you - and, similarly, messaging someone cos they'll "have to do" isn't going to end well for either. 

like, stuff you can do which boosts chances (including being picky yourself on who you message; being mindful, having a good approach) but also making yourself visible.

I met up with someone yesterday for play, meeting up with someone else this Sunday. They all know about each other. Why this is happening? Cos I've made positive impressions on them

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I wish all doms were as honest as u honestly x

[littlemiss37]

  2 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

the thing is as well. this isn't like a cheese counter where you grab a ticket, wait for your name, and hope what you want is left.

no one has to pick you - and, similarly, messaging someone cos they'll "have to do" isn't going to end well for either. 

like, stuff you can do which boosts chances (including being picky yourself on who you message; being mindful, having a good approach) but also making yourself visible.

I met up with someone yesterday for play, meeting up with someone else this Sunday. They all know about each other. Why this is happening? Cos I've made positive impressions on them

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Exactly . As I say there is a lot of bad doms on here . One messaged me in November saying he was only looking for a lay x

[littlemiss37]

  2 hours ago, gemini_man said:

There are for sure - but when you take away those men who don't "get" how to make the apps work for them, then the balance is a lot more even.
.
So ask yourself, do you want to be one of those men, or figure out how to make them work for you?
.
Let me give you a hint - "taking what you can get" and labelling someone as "not my first preference" isn't the right way!!

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Exactly alot on here r just looking for a lay so when u take the bad doms away or as I say wannabes u have a even number x

[TxFrank]

  3 hours ago, stoke-on-trent954 said:

I don't give a f**k

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Amazing that you aren't having more positive interactions with that attitude. 

[ThumperG]

  54 minutes ago, TxFrank said:

Amazing that you aren't having more positive interactions with that attitude. 

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I KNOW! I too am truly shocked and dismayed at this sudden turn of events. As the late great Jim Nabors aka Gomer Pyle used to say Well surprise surprise surprise! I think you know the reference 😜 Yeah, I dab a lotta sarcasm behind my left ear and a little dark humor behind my right before I leave the house~Mistress 😉💜😎

[QXX666]

  13 hours ago, ThumperG said:

OH HONEY JUST NO! Ewww. DON'T 

 

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First DONT call me honey , we don’t know each other… 

second, I don’t have a clue what you are talking about. Maybe you had eaten the wrong mushroom for breakfast or something. 
third, I use the word “prob” in the sentence… read properly. 
 

[69****]

I've been on several different sites from looking for: all aspects considering that I am Bi-Sexual and I have yet meet anyone face to face or even spoken with on the phone.. I am starting to believe that all of this is a SCAM!¡¡! Someone's getting rich....

[TxFrank]

  58 minutes ago, 69LetsCumTogether69 said:

I've been on several different sites from looking for: all aspects considering that I am Bi-Sexual and I have yet meet anyone face to face or even spoken with on the phone.. I am starting to believe that all of this is a SCAM!¡¡! Someone's getting rich....

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Results vary. I've had excellent experiences in finding play partners and significant others over the years. So, it's definitely not a scam. It's an investment. 

I mean, a yearly membership here is less than the cost of a lunch date. Soo if you're not prepared to pony up the membership fee, I'd be embarrassed to look at your play bag. When I read people's replies suggesting these sites are scams I tend to wonder if they actually know what they are getting into.  

[ThumperG]

  3 hours ago, QXX666 said:

First DONT call me honey , we don’t know each other… 

second, I don’t have a clue what you are talking about. Maybe you had eaten the wrong mushroom for breakfast or something. 
third, I use the word “prob” in the sentence… read properly. 
 

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OH HONEY JUST STOP! I mean for someone who's supposedly in contact so many women you would understand that oh honey by now wouldn't you, why don't you scurry long and ask your girls some of your little girls about the expression. In addition honey, you used both. Probably is a maybe never is a definite negative...you might want to do some sentence structure breakdown on that one. So your ending point with that sentence was in the definite negative, let's try though honey. IF I were you, I would go to sleep thankful for being called  honey by me tonight. Trust AND believe me when I tell you that it wasn't my 1st choice, it definitely wasn't even within my first 5. I chose to default to the expression in order to express polite & very tight restraint of myself~Mistress 

[ge****]

  5 hours ago, 69LetsCumTogether69 said:

I've been on several different sites from looking for: all aspects considering that I am Bi-Sexual and I have yet meet anyone face to face or even spoken with on the phone.. I am starting to believe that all of this is a SCAM!¡¡! Someone's getting rich....

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How is someone getting rich via a free site? Users only have to pay if they choose to.
.
Far from being a scam I find the site a welcoming community where I can interact with likeminded others - perhaps read back through the thread for some hints on the best way to approach it

[ey****]

In general - here's a little tip/secret

treating 'finding someone' (or anything else kink related) as any form of race or anything you have to do quickly is always going to end badly.

like, especially if you are new - then any time it takes to find a prospective partner you can use to enhance your knowledge on kink.  It's a bit sometimes, "I've been looking for x years", OK, so what you done to learn or develop in that time? Nothing? So you were waiting on a stranger to be responsible for you?

But anyway. Kink in general is more of a marathon than a sprint. Equally any of your own learning and development is ongoing.  I've been active in the fetish community almost 10 years continuously and by far there's plenty more for me to learn - which is a reason I stay active on sites I like.  

If you're hoping to join a site, stay 4-6 weeks and leave with the kink relationship of your dreams, then, your expectations set you up to fail. 

[Sa****]

Lol

[Sa****]

Try the real site. This is just the app. Fetlife*

Edited April 5, 2023 by FETMOD-TF
*External link removed

[Sa****]

Its way better.

[littlemiss37]

  6 minutes ago, kai-- said:

Try the real site. This is just the app. Fetlife*

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Even on there there is bad ones to x

[QXX666]

  10 hours ago, kai-- said:

Try the real site. This is just the app. Fetlife*

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Fetishcom is a real site and an app is only a different way to access it, also fetishcom got nothing to do with fetlife. Fetlife is way bigger but it would be the same outcome. 

[ey****]

A difference between fetish and fetlife

Fetlife is built as a community site, a social network.   So there's no search filters and a majority of people (particularly women) are not looking for a partner.  It's got an extremely good directory for events and a huge memberbase - but, not a dating site

Fetish is built with dating in mind. Hence a lot of the search filters and premium features.  This doesn't mean everyone on here is actively looking or that it hasn't got it's own little community.  

Fetlife does not have an app in the app stores as it's just, well, it wasn't possible to do a cut-down version that passes app store requirements

The fetish app is cut down (hence limited access to stuff that's NSFW) but more access possible via the desktop site - fetish.com 

[ta****]

The ratio of men to women on an app like this.. the imbalance is very high, your profile & any messages you send needs to stand out, also consider your approach….

[ge****]

  2 hours ago, taylor1992 said:

The ratio of men to women on an app like this.. the imbalance is very high, your profile & any messages you send needs to stand out, also consider your approach….

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But the ratio of men to women is a fallacy and an excuse used by those men that don't "get" how sites like this work to blame their lack of "action" - truth is when you take away those men, the balance is actually a lot more even

[Deleted Member]

  2 hours ago, taylor1992 said:

The ratio of men to women on an app like this.. the imbalance is very high, your profile & any messages you send needs to stand out, also consider your approach….

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It puts so much stress in to the whole thing though doesn’t it
It’s supposed to be fun
Now we are writing essays and wording to stand out instead of being our selves
And people wonder why there is so much fake stuff on here lol
But as much as I hate it your point is valid 🤝
Bad ratio
Fl is even worse

[ey****]

  32 minutes ago, rugby753 said:

Now we are writing essays and wording to stand out instead of being our selves
And people wonder why there is so much fake stuff on here lol

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if you feel you need to write essays or being overly wordy or fake in order to 'stand out' you kinda miss the notion of standing out.

one of the best ways to stand out IS to just be yourself.  

if you're messaging people - generally folk do not wish to read essays, nor can they be bothered with the blatant copy paste stuff, nor the lottery on if the "Hey" will pay off, and certainly not the small talk Hell. "Hello, how are you, how has your day been, what you up to?"

But in all of those cases, this isn't someone being themselves (unless themselves is bland, lazy, etc) 

Folk, in general, have better luck when they ARE being themselves.