Lesbian among straight couples?

[Deleted Member]

So, I guess this might be a bit of a confusing title. I’m a lesbian, and while I’ve had quite a few partners in my life, I’ve never done anything with a man, and I have no doubt that I hold little to no attraction to men.

I have, however, been idly fantasizing about playing with a male/female couple, and I was wondering if this was a common thing among people who aren’t one particular flavour of bisexual to still be down to play with someone out of your usual range? And if yes, which limits do you usually en***?

The way I’m rationalising this myself, because this is at the moment pure fantasy and nothing substantiated by experience, is that I’m attracted to raw power and control. While I would definitely prefer if said couple had a dominant woman in charge, there’s something very spicy about being made to serve a man, as a service sub who’s not attracted to men. Is that a common thing?

[StrangerM]

I'm not attracted to men but find the same thing, it's the female dom that does it.

[ey****]

I don't know how common this is overall but, you're certainly not alone.

A couple of years ago I was contacted by a lady who was a lesbian but had certain fantasies involving submitting to a man

we met up a couple of times and played together where it was a double Domination scene with myself and a female friend

we'd talked about repeating that and also she had one day wanted to play with just me on my own - but, lockdowns hit and she has took a break from the kink scene 

[DeviantInside]

Ok… from a slightly different perspective. I consider myself primarily straight. I’m not attracted to men. However I have had male subs and slaves. And for me it’s not about whether they’r enable or not but the situation, context and scenario can get me highly aroused. So much is about the connection, whether it be the person or the moment. Now for me personally whilst I can get into intensely erotic scenarios with male partners (or male & female or other/more combinations). They’re purely fulfilling an erotic fantasy or urge. When it comes to something more personally fulfilling it has always been with someone who is also my natural sexual preference. At least so far anyway. As I say thought that is just me. And it will be different for every individual. So I think my point is it really doesn’t matter why you find something intriguing, erotic or desirable (either in the moment or longer term). It’s there, it’s real. It doesn’t change who or what you are, it’s just a part of that. And we all fluctuate and change as time goes one.

[DeviantInside]

Just now, DeviantInside said:

Ok… from a slightly different perspective. I consider myself primarily straight. I’m not attracted to men. However I have had male subs and slaves. And for me it’s not about whether they’r enable or not but the situation, context and scenario can get me highly aroused. So much is about the connection, whether it be the person or the moment. Now for me personally whilst I can get into intensely erotic scenarios with male partners (or male & female or other/more combinations). They’re purely fulfilling an erotic fantasy or urge. When it comes to something more personally fulfilling it has always been with someone who is also my natural sexual preference. At least so far anyway. As I say thought that is just me. And it will be different for every individual. So I think my point is it really doesn’t matter why you find something intriguing, erotic or desirable (either in the moment or longer term). It’s there, it’s real. It doesn’t change who or what you are, it’s just a part of that. And we all fluctuate and change as time goes one.

Whether they’re male or not… autocorrect

[Do****]

I have had several lesbian slaves when I was a trainer.

There are a few things to consider. In my case, BDSM is not ALWAYS sexual, though it IS always sensual. Is it, in your fantasies, a sexual thing, or simply power exchange? Would you be okay with that man taking your body?

After that's worked out, simply make sure you trust that person. 🙃

It's definitely NOT abnormal. I'm straight, but I often have fantasies about being with men, usually a couple.

[do****]

36 minutes ago, DeviantInside said:

Ok… from a slightly different perspective. I consider myself primarily straight. I’m not attracted to men. However I have had male subs and slaves. And for me it’s not about whether they’r enable or not but the situation, context and scenario can get me highly aroused. So much is about the connection, whether it be the person or the moment. Now for me personally whilst I can get into intensely erotic scenarios with male partners (or male & female or other/more combinations). They’re purely fulfilling an erotic fantasy or urge. When it comes to something more personally fulfilling it has always been with someone who is also my natural sexual preference. At least so far anyway. As I say thought that is just me. And it will be different for every individual. So I think my point is it really doesn’t matter why you find something intriguing, erotic or desirable (either in the moment or longer term). It’s there, it’s real. It doesn’t change who or what you are, it’s just a part of that. And we all fluctuate and change as time goes one.

Well said

[BruiseWayne]

A lot of people ask the question 'is this common' when they seem to like something that's a little out of the ordinary, and I understand where the motivation for wanting to feel like it's something that's perfectly normal for you to be feeling, but TBH who cares if it is?

 

You like what you like and you shouldn't worry about how often other people experience the same thing.

 

Quite frankly this does seem like a very out of the ordinary desire, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with exploring it or having it.

 

Nor should you spend much time worrying about how common it is or not.

 

Just go find a couple and enjoy yourself.

[ho****]

I can’t say whether it’s common or not. As a lesbian, I can say I share the desire. For me it’s the act of submission (to the raw power and control) which is even more submissive since men isn’t my preference. Better than that for me though is the man submissive to a dominant woman who is directing what the male should do to me/I should do to the man

[Matttster]

We all have different kinks and our kinks change over time. If this is something that intrigues you, find people you trust to explore. The big thing is to explore with people you trust and respect and will respect you and your limits.

Regarding limits, I’d suggest that you establish those with your partners rather than ask what others do. As you explore, you can update your limits.

[Ca****]

Your inbox is about to blow up😂
But yes it’s a thing.

[do****]

50 minutes ago, CaramelLatte said:

Your inbox is about to blow up😂
But yes it’s a thing.

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you tell no lies

[EM****]

This is a very common thing and as said previously. Establish your own boundaries. What do you feel comfortable doing or being ***d to do.

[pr****]

6 hours ago, BruiseWayne said:

A lot of people ask the question 'is this common' when they seem to like something that's a little out of the ordinary, and I understand where the motivation for wanting to feel like it's something that's perfectly normal for you to be feeling, but TBH who cares if it is?

 

You like what you like and you shouldn't worry about how often other people experience the same thing.

 

Quite frankly this does seem like a very out of the ordinary desire, but that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with exploring it or having it.

 

Nor should you spend much time worrying about how common it is or not.

 

Just go find a couple and enjoy yourself.

I agree here who cares what’s “normal” as long as your having fun? I identify as pan because I’m attracted to all women regardless of what they were assigned at birth as well as AFAB folks who are genderqueer. Very rarely can a cis man worm his way into my favor, but it does happen. I tell you all that to say gender and attraction are very complicated especially when you consider everyone who lives outside the binary. My advice to you is to not worry about putting yourself in a box. If you see something you want, go and get it! life’s too short to be held back by what is and isn’t “normal.” sending you love ❤️🫂

[Deleted Member]

4 hours ago, CaramelLatte said:

Your inbox is about to blow up😂
But yes it’s a thing.

My inbox freaking died 😭. And like all of them solo dudes from the USA (I’m FRENCH gdi). Why is this happening to me 😂

Anyway thanks for the answers folks :). Lots of really interesting stuff to read

[ge****]

Whilst there are the very obvious generalised high level definitions around sexual orientation they're very generic and don't get down to individual interpretations or fantasies that step outside of them which are very specific to the person holding them - so, as others have said, if it's "normal" for you, it's "normal".
.
There are many M/F couples who look to meet a single woman (usually termed a unicorn) either for sex or kink, so you won't have problems finding them if you decide to take that step - the key as always will be finding those that you're compatible with and who respect your boundaries etc

[DarkArts1066]

My comment is this, try not to overthink this !

There is no reason why both Women and Men wouldn’t find you attractive. It is quite a common fantasy amongst couples for them to want to find a Lesbian play partner - initially for the Female partner.
There is a voyeuristic aspect to this for the Male - I am sure you are aware of this ?

Being a service sub, it would be an easy step for the Female partner to assume a Dominant role and ‘encourage’ the lesbian play partner to engage in some way with the Male.

I have had a bisexual Female partner who was submissive to me, but became Dominant over any Female when we involved another woman on our play. I have a particularly fond memory of her using a strap on on a young Goth lesbian we met - from behind, whilst she held the girls head and ‘encouraged’ her to give me oral sex. The Girl was a pure lesbian, and like yourself, had never had any sexual involvement with a Man up to that point….
All parties enjoyed the experience - in fact we spent many months exploring together, in different ways.
Initially, the Goth Girl set a “no intercourse” limit with me - oral and masturbation interaction only….. but after a while, she wanted to experience intercourse with a Man, and this we did. My Female partner was there, and involved.
We still chat to this day, although she has now moved to Australia.

[QXX666]

You might have to reflect I to your deep psyche regarding your relationship with men. I can’t be specific but you might be secretly attract to them in some way.
Also it’s fairly commun in the swingers situation to find women interacting with couples.
I had a lesbian submissive for a while who never been sexually active with men all her life. She’s been lesbian from *** age. She was curious and act on it.

[ar****]

Maybe "sexual orientation" is a spectrum too, where individuals may prefer different kind of partners for different kinds of play. Like I can imagine kink being more about enjoying yourself in that kinky moment, rather than finding someone you want to 'build a life' with in a conventional sense (mutual attraction).

[DarkArts1066]

14 hours ago, arnhem961 said:

Maybe "sexual orientation" is a spectrum too, where individuals may prefer different kind of partners for different kinds of play. Like I can imagine kink being more about enjoying yourself in that kinky moment, rather than finding someone you want to 'build a life' with in a conventional sense (mutual attraction).

This is a good point. I have had this conversation with a number of people over the years, who have experienced same sex interests - or desires. Some have acted upon these, telling themselves that it is a “don’t knock it until you’ve tried it” approach. Others have found themselves in a situation - perhaps with a couple …. And have just “gone with the flow” of the situation at the time.

I personally do believe that sexuality or sexual orientation can well be a spectrum for some ..

[de****]

Sweetheart you just have to stop fighting yourself trying to tell yourself your not attracted to men. It's in your nature to be. The reason your so into dominance and in search of a couple with a man is because you havent been giving the true experience. Yes a woman can play that role but they don't exude dominance like a man does. You can say that you don't like how they look and we have to go with that but what they stand for you need cause obviously your a true submissive

[ge****]

33 minutes ago, detroit629 said:

Sweetheart you just have to stop fighting yourself trying to tell yourself your not attracted to men. It's in your nature to be. The reason your so into dominance and in search of a couple with a man is because you havent been giving the true experience. Yes a woman can play that role but they don't exude dominance like a man does. You can say that you don't like how they look and we have to go with that but what they stand for you need cause obviously your a true submissive

Sorry but that has to be one of the most condescending pieces of writing I've seen on here, and trust me I've seen plenty!!
.
I know plenty of women who exude dominance, and know plenty of men who think they do but fall way short.
.
As for trying to tell someone they don't know their own sexuality....I have no words!!

[Deleted Member]

3 hours ago, detroit629 said:

Sweetheart you just have to stop fighting yourself trying to tell yourself your not attracted to men. It's in your nature to be. The reason your so into dominance and in search of a couple with a man is because you havent been giving the true experience. Yes a woman can play that role but they don't exude dominance like a man does. You can say that you don't like how they look and we have to go with that but what they stand for you need cause obviously your a true submissive

Bruh

[sl****]

Im the same as you.

[wi****]

Honestly it's not a binary choice, it's a rainbow of possibilities. I don't think of myself as bi curious, yet I've had a couple crushes. Just be what feels right to you.