How to approach

[Deleted Member]

Good morning/afternoon/evening…

I am relatively new to being submissive, having discovered my submissive tendencies around 2 years ago, and while I do have experience with pro-dommes in sessions, I have yet to be owned by a lifestyle Domme (which is my ultimate goal).
As a newcomer to this aspect of BDSM, I’m quite unsure of how to approach a Domme. I’m well versed in how to approach a pro-Domme given my experience with them.
I would really appreciate any advice you may be able to impart, especially from Dommes!

[Sl****]

I… I’ve been here quite some years and I still have no idea how to approach 😂 sometimes if I read something interesting to do with them/ relating to them that I can talk about then I’ll just talk about it with them.

Other than that uhhh 😅😂 keep posting interesting pictures and things that show you off as not use a submissive but a person too and uhh.. maybe they’ll message you ❤️

[Pe****]

For me, it’s all about respectfulness.

Introduce yourself, be polite.

Say what you can bring to the table and I’m sure you’re aware that listing all your wants and needs is not a good idea in the first few sentences. Be yourself. Be humble.

[ge****]

Quite simply by being your genuine self and treating them as a person first - after all when you first approach someone they're not a dominant, and certainly not your dominant, but a person, so treat them as you would any other person you might encounter in life.
.
There really is no magic answer that will unlock the keys to a dominant though.
.
As Penelope suggests don't go to them with a list of wants and demands but get to know them as a person, and then see what develops from there - once you've established a connection you can then discuss likes/dislikes, boundaries, limits etc
.
Just as importantly though, it's key you understand yourself and what your submission means to you, likewise what kind of dominant you think you'd be looking for, and can articulate it.
.
Also look beyond apps/sites like this one, get along to munches and kink events and get to know people there.
.
Having a good profile and pics will also help, and can see you've already put some effort into yours.
.
Remember though dominants don't grow on trees and it may take some time to find the right one, so set your expectations and attitude correctly, remaining respectful and considerate at all times.
.
Follow all of that and it won't guarantee a thing but it will stand you in good stead.

[Pe****]

1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

Quite simply by being your genuine self and treating them as a person first - after all when you first approach someone they're not a dominant, and certainly not your dominant, but a person, so treat them as you would any other person you might encounter in life.
.
There really is no magic answer that will unlock the keys to a dominant though.
.
As Penelope suggests don't go to them with a list of wants and demands but get to know them as a person, and then see what develops from there - once you've established a connection you can then discuss likes/dislikes, boundaries, limits etc
.
Just as importantly though, it's key you understand yourself and what your submission means to you, likewise what kind of dominant you think you'd be looking for, and can articulate it.
.
Also look beyond apps/sites like this one, get along to munches and kink events and get to know people there.
.
Having a good profile and pics will also help, and can see you've already put some effort into yours.
.
Remember though dominants don't grow on trees and it may take some time to find the right one, so set your expectations and attitude correctly, remaining respectful and considerate at all times.
.
Follow all of that and it won't guarantee a thing but it will stand you in good stead.

More good advice G x

[ge****]

3 minutes ago, PervyPenelope said:

More good advice G x

I forgot one though - don't whatever you do send them a pic of your bum without permission 😂🤣

[Pe****]

1 hour ago, gemini_man said:

I forgot one though - don't whatever you do send them a pic of your bum without permission 😂🤣

You Wally!!😂😂 true though haha!!

[ey****]

basically. forget ownership.

the concept of ownership in pro circles and "lifestyle" circles are massively different.    

So, if you approach someone with any form of lingering view of "being owned" then it's kinda, you wouldn't approach people on dating sites with a view that they have to be willing to marry you.  Even if your paths do end in marriage.  It's certainly not the only valid/happy/workable relationship.