FWB

[Deleted Member]

Look at how many desperate men there are on every app, in every bar, and you'll find your answer quite quickly.

Our gender has a habit of making women uncomfortable and making ourselves look untrustworthy.

[Ta****]

Perhaps it's how you're going about it or where you're going about it. Wording also plays a big role in how uncomfortable women (in my experience/opinion) feel. Are you looking for more benefit than friend? Are you you labeling yourself as ethical non monogamous or poly? Is you're wife involved in the friend part? This are things to consider. Women are more concerned (again in my own experience/opinion) about having their whole life blown up by a jealous spouse then men. I also find men come out of the gate very aggressively sometimes, assuming pet names/instant innuendo are wanted and that is draining when a dozen men are doing that a day.
There are dating sites geared more toward ethical non monogamy/polyamory etc but they aren't as common for sure. I think consider how you're approaching women and how you're presenting your situation to be sure it doesn't feel seedy (not saying it is!) I wish you all the luck!

[Me****]

Stop being a low vibrational individual,  the energy that you give out they can feel it. It’s like a tell them poker they know you’re bluffing.

[Dy****]

Part of it is that men have a history of lying about whether or not their spouses know they are being polyamorous. Your best option would be to join a local BDSM or Swingers club (that allows single men to join) and find partners by being your authentic self, explaining that your wife is OK with what you're doing, and she doesn't want to know details for her own sanity.

[sm****]

5 hours ago, fort-worth897 said:

Question, but why should we be put 2nd sometimes and it's brushed off? Just curious. I like intellectual debates

I can't speak on that personally. I have not been in a position to put someone as 2nd and/or brushed anyone off. Curious to know how you are approaching women/potential partners.

[CopperKnob]

7 hours ago, YourSolesMyFace said:

These advices here are so pathetic. I only see entitled bitches, whining that you can't get along with women the way they like. Seriously. 
Here is a human being asking for some advice on their desires and all they get is toxic masculine bullshit. 
Y'all should check your state of mind and stop seeing women that one dimensional. there is lots of women out there looking for affairs and intimacy. They just don't like you all. 

"Toxic masculine bullshit"
The irony in your comment 🙄

[Da****]

I think if you really have the question. The one in your first paragraph, then it's one of those situations where you really have the answer too.

You also didn't say your wife wasn't interested in sex. You said she wasn't interested in intimacy....

Maybe you'll get some value out of looking at what it means to be a man, for yourself. And then revisit it.

You could realise that your wife and you both love Piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. #escapebyrubertholmes

Good luck.

[ic****]

I think everyone is right. 😂 I mean, there IS a difference between men and women, if you took a cross section/average/generalisation of the two sexes then for all the reasons I don't have the knowledge to fully understand then we are different. We all know that. Just go with it, different, not wrong.
I mean trying to put the driving factors into words? I wouldn't bother. just look at profile views. Woman joins FET, 48 hours later has 400 profile views. Man joins FET, 3 months later has 200 views. Ok, I'm using me as an example (and not a very pretty one at that!) but tell me those stats are wrong. The most likes I've had on one of my pictures was a picture of my dog! 😂 That's OK, I don't mind losing to him, he's cute.

To the OP, it could be worse, you could be a woman having to deal with all those desperate men, sex pests, downright weirdos.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, CopperKnob said:

"Toxic masculine bullshit"
The irony in your comment 🙄

Where is the toxic masculinity in it, please elaborate.

[VILKDUJA]

heidelberg1123 quote CopperKnob:❝"Toxic masculine bullshit"
The irony in your comment 🙄 ❞
Where is the toxic masculinity in it, please elaborate. CopperKnob was not saying the OP was "toxic masculine bullshit" she was quoting what YourSolesMyFace said & was pointing out the irony of HIS comment! Ask him where the so-called "toxic masculine bullshit" is.

[Deleted Member]

From what I have seen on here and other sites, a lot of men are attracted to married women, it's the chase, like forbidden fruit etc. They don't mind being the other guy.... But it's not the same for women. They don't want to be the other woman so they tend to go for single guys and avoid them if they're married . That's how you end up with guys pretending to be single just to get a bit of action because it's easier that way, until of course they get found out.

[CopperKnob]

1 hour ago, heidelberg1123 said:

Where is the toxic masculinity in it, please elaborate.

When men behave in a way which takes the stereotypical way in which a man "should" behave it becomes toxic.
Case in point, suggesting that other men are pathetic, whining, entitled bitches because they aren't behaving in a way which another man deems to be 'manly' is toxic masculinity
I may have only responded to one commentor here but there are others commenting in a similar strain.

[He****]

First of all does she know. If she doesn't then it's cheating  not many people are onboard with that. If she does then there should be nothing stopping you. Not everyone needs to be the only one. There are so many out there that are into Polyamory, and no I don't know much about it but it seems that might be for you. Would your wife possibly be interested in a sexual relationship with someone else but you both stay together. Has she just quit sex altogether or just with you? If it's altogether is there a reason, medical or emotional. There's a ton of questions that only you know the answer to. If you don't know why she doesn't want anything intimate with you then you need to find out. Maybe date her, make her feel special have you tried all of that. Women are complicated I know I am one. Good luck

[De****]

Because we don't want to hide, and we don't want to deal with your angry wife when she finds out.

[ca****]

Most people assume this refers to cheating I don't if I was being ignorant or generous but I just assumed with the nature of the app it would be agreed, interesting

[He****]

5 hours ago, icallshotgun said:

I think everyone is right. 😂 I mean, there IS a difference between men and women, if you took a cross section/average/generalisation of the two sexes then for all the reasons I don't have the knowledge to fully understand then we are different. We all know that. Just go with it, different, not wrong.
I mean trying to put the driving factors into words? I wouldn't bother. just look at profile views. Woman joins FET, 48 hours later has 400 profile views. Man joins FET, 3 months later has 200 views. Ok, I'm using me as an example (and not a very pretty one at that!) but tell me those stats are wrong. The most likes I've had on one of my pictures was a picture of my dog! 😂 That's OK, I don't mind losing to him, he's cute.

To the OP, it could be worse, you could be a woman having to deal with all those desperate men, sex pests, downright weirdos.

There I've liked all your pictures, but yes your dog is uber cute.

[Deleted Member]

It depends on the situation. Your profile says monogamous and not single, if you are here looking for a play partner that says to me the play partner will be a secret .. if however you state poly then I would ask if your current partner consents. If they are not aware that you play away you have already scuppered your chances of finding someone to play with. Consent is for all people in the polygamous group

[ic****]

27 minutes ago, Hels1920 said:

There I've liked all your pictures, but yes your dog is uber cute.

Haha, I saw, cheers. I'll try and ignore the motivation/possible sympathy vote though. 😂😉. I checked out your profile, I hope the healing goes well. It's not a quick process but with self care and time you'll get there as I'm sure you know. Best wishes.

[si****]

Idk but it’d be way easier in Texas

[1V****]

Because a lot of woman feel the value is higher than it really is. And she who holds the power of that pussy has all the control

[h-****]

Because they don't want whiny men who feel entitled to cheat on their wife rather than have honest and complicated conversations.

[ey****]

23 hours ago, YourSolesMyFace said:

I'd add that you also can have an intimate relationship without sex and be able to get your desires met. Polyamoric relationships exist and are as valid as anything else. Communication is key. It's either you have to work on your existing relationship or you find new ones with consent of your partner or you leave her.

yep - I agree

one other big missing option is to have a conversation about the intimacy the OP would like - and broach ideas around getting this elsewhere if it's not possible in the relationship

a lot more options kinda open up if you are looking for some form of arrangement with a partners blessing, than behind their back

 

[Wa****]

If you don't plan on leaving your wife, just pay for it.
You don't want a fwb, you wanna f**k. Lucky for you, that's waaaaaaay easier to do now than attaining a fwb. Even better,
the more you wanna pay the hotter the person will be, and its a simple business transaction. as opposed to a fwb situation where you're just taking what you can get selfishly.

[as****]

So... you made no mention of your wife knowing what's up and I don't wish you good luck in cheating. Nasty.

[Deleted Member]

Already commented on this topic earlier but reading all the comments has really got me thinking....  I am interested to know just how many women would truly be happy to have a fwb/NSA/f**kbuddy type relationship with a married man if he said his wife was ok with it and they had an open relationship?  Would they believe him or would they need proof from the wife??

I ask because I've had various women of the bunny boiler variety contact me over the years (latest one today!!)  to "inform me" that my husband is "cheating" only for me to blow the wind out of their sails by telling them he has my permission and blessing so there's no cheating and to stop trying to cause trouble...  

I'm genuinely intrigued by this.  Do women say they want NSA fwb but secretly hope they will get more than that out of it, so if there's a wife then she's in the way so to speak??  Are women just not programmed to want NSA sex and only want "relationships" whereas men are perhaps more likely to just want sex??   I'm not casting judgement on anyone at all, I'm just genuinely interested because this is something that does affect my relationship.  Even when I say I'm ok with it, they still take the moral high ground and get hissy about it....  I don't get it....