Married sub who has a dom

May 14, 2019

Would love to hear from Doms who have subs married to others or sub married women with Doms. As a hubby whose wife has a dom im wondering about the dynamic when hubby is not involved. How does a dom keep a sub from falling in love. Or is there a polyamory dynamic to it. Are there hubbies like me out there as well?

May 14, 2019

If you are worried, that is a relationship issue in my humble opinion, not a kink or vanilla issue. Sounds like you need a proper conversation with each other.

May 15, 2019

I know you had another thread where you said you were happy for your partner to have a Dom, but I'm starting to suspect this isn't entirely the case.

Have a talk either with her, or with the three of you, to discuss what they expect their dynamic to be like. Because there isn't an off-the-peg normal for situations like this - you ALL need a situation that works for you ALL.

May 17, 2019

You can love both people. I love my Master and my husband both! There is nothing wrong with that just at different levels and you gotta keep that in check. If you have any ill feelings, you must talk to all parties involved, get it out in the open and don't hold back but do it in a respectful way. When my husband and I saw my Master for the 1st time, it was at a neutral place and honestly pretty fun. It wasn't a club or anything bdsm but a normal everyday venue.

May 18, 2019

As for falling in love theres only one answer you can't unless they both have an agreement to walk away once feelings get involved (not so easy I've been there)

If you are thinking along these lines then I would say you have a problem. The dynamic they build appears from how you come across to be totally separate if it was totally open as it would have to be be in a Poly dynamic you would know everything and I'm guessing you don't.

You are in a relationship with each other primarily or this should be the case. If her Ds dynamic takes priority then you have big big problems and its time to sit down and talk about what you BOTH need not just her.

You both should have a equal say and if she is committed to you and you her then communication needs to happen from both sides and you may have to consider that this isn't right for you and say that.

You need to make some hard decisions.

Without openness and communication between you both what she has is nothing more that an affair. Say that you want to see other people whats good for the gender so to speak and see how that goes down.

But you need to open a line of communication or its just an abusive relationship.

Good luck.

Edited May 18, 2019 by Deleted Member

May 21, 2019

In my experience, it is always a part of the Dom/sub relationship that people don't consider enough. When I have been fortunate to have a married sub we addressed mental boundaries as well as just physical...and we regularly reminded ourselves that our real lives come above our secret world. Open communication about feelings, and avoiding certain phrases is also something which I would fully recommend.

July 28, 2019

Absolutely no doubt and realistically it possibly come down to a female sub not wanting /being able to communicate for what ever reason with husband , some of course just want this dynamic in a 3rd party environment, but what ever the reason it goes on, I've been that dom