Anonymous profiles

[th****]

Interested to get other peoples perspectives here.

How long are you willing to speak with an anonymous profile regarding a possible d/s dynamic or play date before they show you what they look like?

Some wider context: I’m aware, and sympathetic to the fact that some people aren’t willing to have open profiles given the nature of this site and the potential for embarrassment or judgement that sadly still lingers with some people in respect of kink.

As such, I’m usually happy to have some initial conversations around preferences, interests etc whilst the person I’m speaking to is comfortable that im genuine and is happy to disclose what they look like.

However, I do feel that hating to an anonymous profile creates a power imbalance, given that you are disclosing personal information about yourself without knowing to whom you are speaking.

So the question is this: how long are you all happy to talk to an anonymous profile?

[ge****]

There are some people I've chatted to for months/longer without knowing what they look like, others where we've swapped pics straight away.
.
I guess the key is around whether you are discussing a potential offline meet or dynamic - personally I wouldn't even be thinking of one without knowing what someone looks like, but the point where I'm "thinking of one" may be weeks, it may be months in the making.

[Tr****]

A week

[Deleted Member]

We won’t speak to them at all. If you’re hiding something, we aren’t interested in being involved.

[Deleted Member]

not long

[Deleted Member]

I guess it depends what else they reveal. A person should only do what they are comfortable with, but this place is filled with catfish.. so, personally, I expect them to show candid photos, or talk on the phone, or do something to show that they are sincere, within a few days or a week... or sooner if we are talking frequently. It costs a lot to get to know someone.

But if you know they are sincere and just want to see them, I guess just communicate nicely when you start to get bored and hope that they are willing to compromise before you are bored entirely.

If it were a premium app, I'd probably wait longer/expect less, just because catfish etc. are unlikely to spare the expense.

[Marquis_du_Lac]

Don’t give it more than a couple of days. Then ask directly if they feel there is any merit in chatting further

[bi****]

you can talk to anyone about anything without needing to know who they are. Its when you take it to next level where you might be interested in more than talk, that you need to discover who they are. At that point, if they still demand to be anonymous, the red flags flash and you should ignore them, as IMHO they're nearly always scammers. TBH, several who give you photos and info end up being scammers with fake photos too! So its all a judgement call in the end.

[Deleted Member]

I personally try to receive a picture as soon as possible. I will talk about kinks and preferences, but some will try and talk about scenarios and how they would have things play out and at that point I typically say, “could I have a picture of you to put a face to the responses”. If they are uncomfortable with that I always say they can recall the photo after a time has passed. I don’t feel comfortable not knowing who I’m talking to, and if they’re scared to share a photo in a private message then it’s kind of sketchy to me, personally…

The entire point of this type of relationship is built off of trust and communication, so if you can’t trust me enough to share who you are then maybe we shouldn’t be talking about starting this type of relationship.

[Deleted Member]

It depends on how much I enjoy the person and the conversation. I understand the need for discretion when it comes to kink and I like to allow the person the opportunity to feel comfortable with me but there is absolutely no meeting until pics are exchanged. At some point, I need to see what the person looks like. All relationships are based on trust, especially a D/s dynamic, and if you can’t trust me enough to even see what you look like, then the relationship can’t go past this stage.

[As****]

As long as the conversation still flows.

[Deleted Member]

I can respect your position and still just speak for myself here. I think the difference is on a case by case basis. For instance, I have no problem showing my face if I get along well with you no matter how long we have been chatting. But sometimes there are unexplainable flags. If I know I do not already know you, it goes quicker and then I just tey to get familiar with your demeanor. Ihave been fooled because some people will change up very quickly at unknown times. I always offer to video chat quickly so that we know we both are real and not just a picture

[fl****]

It's a good question and I don't know if I have a timeline written on it. However, as soon as we start chatting and I feel like the other party is responding to my chats, I will ask them for a pic.
Credit to the lady I reached out to last Saturday evening. She was interested in a DDLG relationship dynamics. When I asked for her pic, she sent it to me immediately.

[Deleted Member]

I personally try to find out as soon as possible. I try to lay a foundation and layer of trust from the beginning.. make it known that talking with me is safe and that there is no judgement at all. I’ll give it some time if they don’t send pictures after messaging me, but this type of relationship is built off of trust and communication. We’re all here to explore and experience things, and if someone can’t trust enough to show me who they are, how could they ever expect me to trust them enough for me to submit to them? I always say that they can recall the photos if they don’t feel comfortable leaving them in the chat also, so there’s that too.

[ta****]

I would ask for a photo within the first hour. Physical attraction is a must for me and I would not want to waste either of our time if it was not there.

[1B****]

I’d like to address a few of your concerns based entirely on my own personal experiences. First, it is a fact that there are a tremendous amount of nefarious profiles, with their own agendas as to why they are on this site. I am happy to chat with anyone who appears sincere, however, I will not reveal any identifiable photos to a stranger at the other end of a keyboard. I am a female professional model, and I have known of photos ending up on porn sites and worse, unknowingly. So my rule is this: if the first thing you want to know about me is what I look like, I immediately block you from any further discussion. It is a true sign of someone not interested in getting to know me, merely looking for eye candy appeal. If, on the other hand, I have had an ongoing conversation with someone for two weeks, and it seems to be going well, I will suggest a meeting. Most imposters will immediately drop you, and you can stop wasting time. That being said, I have shown up at real time meetings several times, only to be scammed by someone who had no intentions of showing up. But sometimes there will be someone real and interested enough who will be there, and you go from there. Suggest a meeting, test for realism.

[th****]

I guess I’ll start - but usually between 2-3 days. After that I’m afraid I’ve lost interest

[Ex****]

For me, they need to show themselves by the end of first conversation. Doesn't make any sense to hide from the one person you are talking to.

[Va****]

Few hours, especially from a Dom perspective as a sub, I'd be more understanding as it may be the Dom's personal wishes. Not I tho lol

[co****]

If someone doesn't reveal their face in private chat, you may as well as well be speaking to a generative ai bot - which there definitely will be on dating apps to furnish their make clientèle. Do as thou wilt, but trust is earned and physical attraction is required for a man like me.

[Erzsebet30]

Potential for judgement? 😂 This site is packed full of judgemental wotsits who don't deal with empathy or sympathy at all. This is not a slight against you but it is sadly inevitable you will be judged whether you have a picture or no. I am happy to converse until someone is ready to show themselves but I have zero expectations regarding a dynamic until they can be open. My patience is not finite however and I would reassure the person as much as possible... I don't think dynamics should be rushed into anyway but that's just my personal opinion.

[CopperKnob]

How long is a piece of string?
.
I don't think that I can quantify how long it takes for me to be comfortable enough with someone before I share personal information or a full face picture.
.
It's more than embarassment/judgement for me. My job means not only am I google-able but that it could be at risk if the registering body feels that I've brought the profession into disrepute and I can do without the stress of being under that level of scrutiny.
.
I'm also a hugely private person generally about personal/home life.
.
How active I am here, the fact that I have some pictures of myself should he enough for others to feel confident that I'm not a fake profile.
.
If I don't fall into other peoples timescales with respect of sharing a lot of info about myself then that's OK.

[xc****]

if there’s romantic interest? immediately. looks aren’t my number one thing but it’s important there’s attraction of some kind. ultimately it depends on my intentions. if i think it’ll be friendly and that’s it? a few months (speaking from experience)

[Ju****]

How long? That depends on the vibe I've gotten from them. I dislike emty profiles and no photo. Over spoken to a few real people and a lot of scammers with shite profiles.

[pa****]

All anonymous profiles are just fakes getting off.