Popular Post lo**** Posted June 15, 2023 Popular Post Posted June 15, 2023 I have only seen men do this, there may be women, but I wouldn't bet on it. You may think it's a nice ice breaker to start a convo with "I'm [real first name] what's your name?" No. No. and again No. There are SO many reasons NOT to do this, even for YOUR safety, let alone who ever you are talking to. Getting bent out of shape or insulted cause we don't want to give you our REAL NAMES, is a you problem, or you showing you could be a VERY unsafe person. Check yourself. I'm going to start blocking out right every single one who even ASKS. No longer worth my time or frustration.
Vi**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Some people dump the whole box of cereal for the prize and others wait. Most of these crayon eaters are weird.
Deleted Member Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Good on yahoo. Having said that, do you live in a town of 20 people, because otherwise no one cares.
TheBookCollector Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 How does giving a first or middle name compromise your safety? Giving a full name yes thats dangerous. If i was in a bar id introduce myself to someone by my first name, and ask what there name was. Are people unsafe in that situation? How is this site any different?
bo**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Yeah what a load of crap I introduce myself with my first name never had a problem
le**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 You're absolutely correct. For this reason if I introduce myself to someone who hasn't volunteered their name I always ask "what would you like me to call you?" If someone is comfortable giving me their name I won't have to pry it out of them. Also disappointed by the completely oblivious responses by multiple men in this thread.
CopperKnob Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 36 minutes ago, TheBookCollector said: How does giving a first or middle name compromise your safety? Giving a full name yes thats dangerous. If i was in a bar id introduce myself to someone by my first name, and ask what there name was. Are people unsafe in that situation? How is this site any different? Because some of us have unusual first names. Because some people don't protect their photo's before uploading them to Fet and if someone is savvy enough they can obtain a whole load of information from them. Because some people will have professional social media's linked to their full name which can be searchable using a first name only which then provide a whole lot of other information about them that they don't want strangers to know
Vi**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 @TheBookCollector if you have an uncommon name. Not hard to find you in this day and age
NowIAmTheMaster Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 44 minutes ago, TheBookCollector said: How does giving a first or middle name compromise your safety? Giving a full name yes thats dangerous. If i was in a bar id introduce myself to someone by my first name, and ask what there name was. Are people unsafe in that situation? How is this site any different? My first name is incredibly rare, only about 20 people in the UK have it. No f**king way I'm giving it out to someone I just met on the internet and I'm a big white dude. People are unsafe doing it here compared to in a bar as in a bar you can at least see the person and not a catfish. But also, why should other people have to justify what makes them feel unsafe?
CopperKnob Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 5 minutes ago, CopperKnob said: Because some of us have unusual first names. Because some people don't protect their photo's before uploading them to Fet and if someone is savvy enough they can obtain a whole load of information from them. Because some people will have professional social media's linked to their full name which can be searchable using a first name only which then provide a whole lot of other information about them that they don't want strangers to know Example. I just googled my shortened first name and the county I live in. It takes you to my linkedin profile. From that you have my job, a full face pic and my employer. You google that and you have the press releases I've been featured in on behalf of the organisation. From that you could go to the org's social media, you then know where the office is and who my colleagues are. Sometimes it not just ourselves we're protecting, particularly when the profession is one that rather disliked.
TheBookCollector Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 6 minutes ago, CopperKnob said: Because some of us have unusual first names. Because some people don't protect their photo's before uploading them to Fet and if someone is savvy enough they can obtain a whole load of information from them. Because some people will have professional social media's linked to their full name which can be searchable using a first name only which then provide a whole lot of other information about them that they don't want strangers to know Thanks, i get the unusual name etc, and unfortunately dont delve into social media so have no idea how easy it is to find people as its not something id even consider doing. If youre uploading pictures without obscuring your face, thats an issue especially with the reverse image lookup tools about.
Vi**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 @TheBookCollector yeah ya gotta kinda know that. The world is sooo much bigger than we thought. My ex was the first I met with her name.
TheBookCollector Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 14 minutes ago, NowIAmTheMaster said: My first name is incredibly rare, only about 20 people in the UK have it. No f**king way I'm giving it out to someone I just met on the internet and I'm a big white dude. People are unsafe doing it here compared to in a bar as in a bar you can at least see the person and not a catfish. But also, why should other people have to justify what makes them feel unsafe? Thats a fair point something i out right state in my comment, if youd bothered to read it. There are ways of addressing being asked your first name other than blocking, and one of them is to state you arent prepared to give it, if its a problem, tell them to jog on. If that person gives you *** back block them by all means. But its human nature to introduce yourself.
ge**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Whilst I think the thing about giving out names or not has been covered. . The, perhaps more pertinent, point in the OP hasn't - the one about people getting bent out of shape or resorting to insults when someone chooses not to give out their real name - that's all kinds of wrong and actually provides a very good further reason for withholding your name until you are ready to do so. I mean if someone is going to get bent out of shape because you won't give your real name, what are they going to be capable of if you reject them further down the line for some other reason (at which time they may have your real name). . I talk to lots of people here, and only a few know my actual first name, no-one "needs" to know it if we're just chatting - if I'm comfortable enough to give it out, I usually drop a "BTW it's " into a message, and leave it up to the other person to decide if they want to reciprocate. . Giving it out by way of response to a first message though? Not a cat in hell's chance, and my name isn't overly rare amongst people of my age group.
gi**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Women often give a fake name for our safety, typically because we or a friend of ours was stalked or we're just not interested. Yes, unusual first names can increase risk. Higher-profiled people rely on anonymity to protect themselves or others. Isn't part of the fun the mystery?
1B**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 locketheart, I agree with you 100,000%!!! You don’t need to know my name just because we are having a chat. A few weeks ago, I was chatting with someone who, as it turned out, is very familiar with a vanilla, very traditional group in the local community. Yikes! I don’t want to be outed to them by some stranger on a chat. So, eventually, he asked me for my FULL NAME! Seriously? As if….so I gave him a pseudonym moniker I sometimes use. Well, right after I texted it, he said he was going to look me up!!!!! Has anyone besides me ever googled their name? Your whole life along with very personal information along with your home address is listed. Why does someone need to know what the f*ck your name is anyway. A rose by any other name…
gi**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Truthfully, Copperknob is so right about how easy it is to find someone.
la**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 You are 100% allowed to feel this way and people should respect it when you say you aren’t comfortable giving your name. However pretending it’s on you to set up an official guideline for how anyone talks to someone else is ridiculous. There’s plenty of people not afraid to be outted and who want that personal connection. This is terrible advice. What your comment should read is RESPECT SOMEONES RESPONSE TO ANY QUESTION YOU ASK. If someone says they aren’t comfortable answering you apologize and end it there. But the idea you aren’t allowed or shouldn’t be allowed to ask anyone because just you feel this way is levels of narcissism anyone should be scared to approach.
Su**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 So many people seem to have an issue with ice breaking statements.. A simple "Hi" is too boring, will be blocked, Hi beautiful, will also be blocked, If you come off too nice, youll be blocked, if you come out mean, youll be blocked and reported.. so ladies, HOW ABOUT YOU SAY WHATS A GOOD BEGINNING LINE SINCE EVERYTHING US MEN SAY ISNT GOOD ENOUGH.
Deleted Member Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Yeah, there's no need for real names, especially if you have a very unique name. I've met and had relations with multiple people that I never asked their name. Just talking to someone on the internet a username is plenty. Also don't have the same username on here as you do on other app/sites.
lo**** Posted June 15, 2023 Author Posted June 15, 2023 5 hours ago, latenightwork said: You are 100% allowed to feel this way and people should respect it when you say you aren’t comfortable giving your name. However pretending it’s on you to set up an official guideline for how anyone talks to someone else is ridiculous. There’s plenty of people not afraid to be outted and who want that personal connection. This is terrible advice. What your comment should read is RESPECT SOMEONES RESPONSE TO ANY QUESTION YOU ASK. If someone says they aren’t comfortable answering you apologize and end it there. But the idea you aren’t allowed or shouldn’t be allowed to ask anyone because just you feel this way is levels of narcissism anyone should be scared to approach. Uh huh.. so this is why it is common at munches, etc to give fake names, etc? Cause *I* am the one making such a thing official? BTW.. FU for your inbox, and as for "report anyone you like" incoming.
le**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 4 hours ago, SubForARub said: So many people seem to have an issue with ice breaking statements.. A simple "Hi" is too boring, will be blocked, Hi beautiful, will also be blocked, If you come off too nice, youll be blocked, if you come out mean, youll be blocked and reported.. so ladies, HOW ABOUT YOU SAY WHATS A GOOD BEGINNING LINE SINCE EVERYTHING US MEN SAY ISNT GOOD ENOUGH. This weird kind of aggression is exactly the problem. I don't understand why so many men can't wrap their heads around how different it is to navigate these spaces for women than men. Stop acting like we're entitled to women's attention. Stop blaming women for the way consistently gross words and actions from men have created such a strong reaction. Practice some self awareness and restraint and you'll be amazed what kinds of doors open up for you. Women don't need to hold your hand. When they tell you that they are consistently targeted by aggression, harassment, and words and actions that make them uncomfortable take them at their word and assess your own behavior.
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