Stop doing this, it's not appropriate.

[NY****]

I never asked for the name actually makes it more interesting not knowing there’s so many other different names and nicknames and pet names you can use 

[xm****]

Your free to have your own opinion. But your just flat out wrong.

[4R****]

57 minutes ago, xmillermanx said:

Your free to have your own opinion. 

You're right, everyone is entitled to their own opinion

 

58 minutes ago, xmillermanx said:

But your just flat out wrong

Opinions are neither right nor wrong, they are simply ideas!

[Si****]

10 hours ago, lechoholic said:

This weird kind of aggression is exactly the problem. I don't understand why so many men can't wrap their heads around how different it is to navigate these spaces for women than men. Stop acting like we're entitled to women's attention. Stop blaming women for the way consistently gross words and actions from men have created such a strong reaction. Practice some self awareness and restraint and you'll be amazed what kinds of doors open up for you. Women don't need to hold your hand. When they tell you that they are consistently targeted by aggression, harassment, and words and actions that make them uncomfortable take them at their word and assess your own behavior.

Wow! Such a GOOD GUY! I’m so glad you’re here, protecting all the Womenfolk from these GROSS INTERNET CREEPERS! If you weren’t here, they obviously wouldn’t be able to defend themselves and they’d be paralyzed with *** at having to answer simple questions without accidentally slipping and giving away too much information about themselves so their job finds out about their only fans account!
(Sarcasm ends here)
Tbh people like you are the worst, pretending to defend women for social brownie points, but for reasons which are based on inherently sexist assumptions of ***ness and naïveté. The only part is no one sees the behind the scenes when you try to redeem said brownie points and it goes south. Even though you’re going to deny that’s the case, my first point stands. Let the women formulate their own arguments. they can tell us about their experiences better than you.

[ge****]

3 hours ago, SitOnMyFacePlz916 said:

Wow! Such a GOOD GUY! I’m so glad you’re here, protecting all the Womenfolk from these GROSS INTERNET CREEPERS! If you weren’t here, they obviously wouldn’t be able to defend themselves and they’d be paralyzed with *** at having to answer simple questions without accidentally slipping and giving away too much information about themselves so their job finds out about their only fans account!
(Sarcasm ends here)
Tbh people like you are the worst, pretending to defend women for social brownie points, but for reasons which are based on inherently sexist assumptions of ***ness and naïveté. The only part is no one sees the behind the scenes when you try to redeem said brownie points and it goes south. Even though you’re going to deny that’s the case, my first point stands. Let the women formulate their own arguments. they can tell us about their experiences better than you.

I'll start off the same way you did...WOW!!
Talk about trying to put someone down with no real reason to - I absolutely concur with everything @lechoholic said in his post, and not because I'm trying to score points or anything else really but simply based on having been around sites like this and seen the kind of behaviours referred to, and spoken to women as normal humans about their experiences.
.
Just because we're men, doesn't mean we don't have a perspective, doesn't mean we're looking for an angle, just means we're decent people who care about others and understand and empathise with their problems.
.
Nowhere in his post has he suggested women can't or shouldn't formulate their own arguments, or need protecting, or even inferred he's looking for Brownie points.
.
In fact I'd suggest he's inferring quite the opposite in a lot of what he says.
.
Surely as decent men we should be standing up for what we believe is right too - not in some protective, macho, looking after the little woman way, but because we believe in decency and consideration etc - or would you prefer we turned a blind eye and said nothing? Because if you do, that's very worrying.

[gu****]

I mean, i wouldnt say its a good intoduction, but i dont like anonymous sex relationships either, and no giving just a first name doesnt dox you LOL keep doing what you doing if it makes you feel safe but there are so many men not talking to you because you also have no profile pic, if you dont want anonymous sex maby asking for formalities like names should happen at some point, i hate showing up to a meeting and having to ask "are you the person i talked to on that dating app?" knowing a name means if i accidentally ask a neighbor if they are who im looking for i dont sound like a stalker and why im there isnt given away(sometimes discression is wanted)........and if knowing someones name for the purposes of meeting is a deal breaker thing they gotta know to feel safe to meet, if it were a deal breaker to me id ask it first too to know who wont consider it at all, like yourself, did you ever consider they were vetting you not just the other way around and not just fishing for info??

[gu****]

8 minutes ago, gurthychub said:

I mean, i wouldnt say its a good intoduction, but i dont like anonymous sex relationships either, and no giving just a first name doesnt dox you LOL keep doing what you doing if it makes you feel safe but there are so many men not talking to you because you also have no profile pic, if you dont want anonymous sex maby asking for formalities like names should happen at some point, i hate showing up to a meeting and having to ask "are you the person i talked to on that dating app?" knowing a name means if i accidentally ask a neighbor if they are who im looking for i dont sound like a stalker and why im there isnt given away(sometimes discression is wanted)........and if knowing someones name for the purposes of meeting is a deal breaker thing they gotta know to feel safe to meet, if it were a deal breaker to me id ask it first too to know who wont consider it at all, like yourself, did you ever consider they were vetting you not just the other way around and not just fishing for info??

This was in no way meant to insult I was just exemplifying that you are anonymous you do not have any pictures on this app, and that ive seen 9ver and over on guys profiles "npnc" which means no pic no chat, not wanting to have a anonymous conversation and prove you are a real person is probably important to them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[gu****]

(I put my name in my profile sometimes saying "call me Tyler" just to see if people read it, and i get your point but if you are worried about people doxing you maby make it harder to??? Like i said keep doing what your doing if it makes you feel safe, but there is more than one single reason for things)

[Deleted Member]

Crazy that people do that, im anxious enough just having my dumb face on here 🤣

[Ta****]

15 hours ago, SitOnMyFacePlz916 said:

Wow! Such a GOOD GUY! I’m so glad you’re here, protecting all the Womenfolk from these GROSS INTERNET CREEPERS! If you weren’t here, they obviously wouldn’t be able to defend themselves and they’d be paralyzed with *** at having to answer simple questions without accidentally slipping and giving away too much information about themselves so their job finds out about their only fans account!
(Sarcasm ends here)
Tbh people like you are the worst, pretending to defend women for social brownie points, but for reasons which are based on inherently sexist assumptions of ***ness and naïveté. The only part is no one sees the behind the scenes when you try to redeem said brownie points and it goes south. Even though you’re going to deny that’s the case, my first point stands. Let the women formulate their own arguments. they can tell us about their experiences better than you.

Dude you are so far out of line I’m embarrassed for you. Who the hell raised you, dogs? Name totally checks out btw. 👍🏻

[lo****]

On 6/16/2023 at 12:58 PM, gurthychub said:

(I put my name in my profile sometimes saying "call me Tyler" just to see if people read it, and i get your point but if you are worried about people doxing you maby make it harder to??? Like i said keep doing what your doing if it makes you feel safe, but there is more than one single reason for things)

Having worked in tech most my life, including IT, and having friends who have done cyber security for a while... believe me, I am doing much more than you think I am. IF I were to get to the we are meeting stage, sure I would most likely give my name.

It seems to me you didn't actually read my post and just had a knee jerk "I'm going to insult your intelligence" reaction. Which is rude and uncalled for since you 3 posts one after another are so far off the topic of what I ACTUALLY posted.

First few messages giving their rl name and demanding mine when we have barely said "hello" to each other.

Either you had a reading comprehension fail, or.. as they say in the South "A hit dog will holler."

[ge****]

25 minutes ago, locketheart said:

Having worked in tech most my life, including IT, and having friends who have done cyber security for a while... believe me, I am doing much more than you think I am. IF I were to get to the we are meeting stage, sure I would most likely give my name.

It seems to me you didn't actually read my post and just had a knee jerk "I'm going to insult your intelligence" reaction. Which is rude and uncalled for since you 3 posts one after another are so far off the topic of what I ACTUALLY posted.

First few messages giving their rl name and demanding mine when we have barely said "hello" to each other.

Either you had a reading comprehension fail, or.. as they say in the South "A hit dog will holler."

Point in case - locketheart is someone I've exchanged a number of messages with at different times, never once has it occurred to me to ask her name, or offer mine, for the simple reason that there is no need to exchange them.
.
People seem to be confusing someone not giving their name whilst exchanging messages here with not giving their name when planning on meeting.
.
In the first instance there is absolutely no need to exchange names, it proves nothing and doesn't make a difference to the conversation.
.
If you're meeting someone then yeah obviously a name to use would be helpful, I wouldn't want someone calling me Gemini Man the whole time we were together - that said whether an actual name is necessary may depend on the type of meet - if it's a one off then I've known people use a false name to protect their identity even then, if it's with a view to more then yeah obviously an actual name may be a better option.

[lo****]

It amazes me I started this thread and I have someone in my inbox who, at first asked EXTREMELY politely, and when I declined to share they basically said they aren't going to spend a lot of time talking to me just to "find out your a old man or 800lb midget" (In his SECOND message!)

That's ok dude. You won't be getting to spend any more time talking to me. Problem solved.

Mind = boggled

[PurpleSarah]

Wow anyone that uses the word midget doesn’t deserve your name
Sorry , I know a bit off topic but have friends with dwarfism and that word hurts
As for the real name thing , usually doesn’t occur to me to even ask unless we r meeting , it’s the ones that tell me what they are going to do to me ( and like I have no say in it) b4 even saying hello that I have issue with

[lo****]

19 hours ago, PurpleSarah said:

Wow anyone that uses the word midget doesn’t deserve your name
Sorry , I know a bit off topic but have friends with dwarfism and that word hurts
As for the real name thing , usually doesn’t occur to me to even ask unless we r meeting , it’s the ones that tell me what they are going to do to me ( and like I have no say in it) b4 even saying hello that I have issue with

I have had a few disturbing ones who decided to go into fantasies of what they would like to do to me... they get blocked immediately.

So do the ones who send "Are you being a good girl" or some other form of trying to Dom me without my consent.

Nope nope nope. Those go bye bye too.

[gu****]

Sunday at 06:53 AM, locketheart said:

Having worked in tech most my life, including IT, and having friends who have done cyber security for a while... believe me, I am doing much more than you think I am. IF I were to get to the we are meeting stage, sure I would most likely give my name.

It seems to me you didn't actually read my post and just had a knee jerk "I'm going to insult your intelligence" reaction. Which is rude and uncalled for since you 3 posts one after another are so far off the topic of what I ACTUALLY posted.

First few messages giving their rl name and demanding mine when we have barely said "hello" to each other.

Either you had a reading comprehension fail, or.. as they say in the South "A hit dog will holler."

I mean when you made a public post about it you invited criticism and discussion, and believe it or not i could have read your whole post and still disagree with it, that is possible too, there is more than just your perspective but i dont care to explain that any more...(posted 3 times kuz it woudnt show up the first 2 then it rurnt out it posted all 3 this app is crap but take it however you will i cant contol that)

[lo****]

14 hours ago, gurthychub said:

I mean when you made a public post about it you invited criticism and discussion, and believe it or not i could have read your whole post and still disagree with it, that is possible too, there is more than just your perspective but i dont care to explain that any more...(posted 3 times kuz it woudnt show up the first 2 then it rurnt out it posted all 3 this app is crap but take it however you will i cant contol that)

Still dwelling in reading comprehension fail I see.

I HAVE pitcures. They are in my gallery. You have to be someone I have a connection with and trust to get access. YET! This thread is NOTHING to do with pictures! It's asking for names.

Edited June 21, 2023 by locketheart
Added something

[Ta****]

June 15, SubForARub said:

So many people seem to have an issue with ice breaking statements.. A simple "Hi" is too boring, will be blocked, Hi beautiful, will also be blocked, If you come off too nice, youll be blocked, if you come out mean, youll be blocked and reported.. so ladies, HOW ABOUT YOU SAY WHATS A GOOD BEGINNING LINE SINCE EVERYTHING US MEN SAY ISNT GOOD ENOUGH.

How about read their profile, and then say something clever or interesting based on a mutual interest instead of low-effort copypasta? Is that concept really so mysterious to you?

[lo****]

1 hour ago, TallBastard said:

How about read their profile, and then say something clever or interesting based on a mutual interest instead of low-effort copypasta? Is that concept really so mysterious to you?

What? Think and make an actual effort to connect? (I say dripping sarcasm)

[Su****]

June 15, lechoholic said:

This weird kind of aggression is exactly the problem. I don't understand why so many men can't wrap their heads around how different it is to navigate these spaces for women than men. Stop acting like we're entitled to women's attention. Stop blaming women for the way consistently gross words and actions from men have created such a strong reaction. Practice some self awareness and restraint and you'll be amazed what kinds of doors open up for you. Women don't need to hold your hand. When they tell you that they are consistently targeted by aggression, harassment, and words and actions that make them uncomfortable take them at their word and assess your own behavior.

Well, I actually dont blame the women, I blame the men, as a whole, we make ourselves far too available.. nothing that is easy to get will ever be in high demand.

[lo****]

On 6/21/2023 at 4:45 PM, SubForARub said:

Well, I actually dont blame the women, I blame the men, as a whole, we make ourselves far too available.. nothing that is easy to get will ever be in high demand.

I started to agree with you.. then you tossed in the crap thinking about "making ourselves too available."

Read the forums more, actually PAY attention to what the women are saying.

You got the first part right. If we weren't spammed with gross, pushy, disrespectful men CONSTANTLY, maybe we would be more open.

Check your ***rs, stop blaming women for being defensive. We had to get that way because of... if you guessed men in general you would win a prize!

[ne****]

How is giving out my first name dangerous?

[ge****]

32 minutes ago, bremerton353 said:

How is giving out my first name dangerous?

It may not be for you and if you're comfortable doing so then that's your choice to make - for others however if their name is unusual or even if it's not, it's a snippet of information that could be used to trace them and I am sure you can imagine why that "could" be dangerous.
.
To turn the question around though - why is it important to know the first name of someone on here as part of any initial contact? Sure if things progress to the point where you are going to meet, or you feel comfortable sharing, but early in any message exchange? Matters not a bit

[Ta****]

2 hours ago, bremerton353 said:

How is giving out my first name dangerous?

Hi, Bob from Pleasantville Minnesota, population 2600! I searched for Bob in your town and found your Facebook profile (nice jet skis! You must be wealthy!) Using your last name and “works at” information, which I confirmed to be current by looking you up on LinkedIn, I have one question to ask you, Bob from Pleasantville Minnesota, population 2600…how much are you willing to pay for all your family, friends, boss and coworkers NOT to know you’re on a fetish app looking to get pegged?

THIS IS SARCASM, but I’m sure you see my point?

[lo****]

Pretty sure I have mentioned in a previous post, most likely on this thread... I have had experience with BEING stalked, and so I am MUCH MUCH less comfortable sharing things that would make it easier to find me...

Not just those who send messages and chat here, but also.. what if the stalker(s) who I have spent a LOT of effort to evade were to recognize me and start up their crap again? And heaven forbid I get NEW stalkers in the process of talking to people here.

It's NOT up to you what others feel comfortable sharing. If you want to be pushy or get mad at them for making sure they feel safe before sharing anything that could be identifying, you are basically waving enough red flags for a Chinese parade to take place in the face of those trying to be careful and protect themselves.