d3**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Honestly, you rambled for no reason? Women like the validation that they’re sexy and wanted… if they’re attracted to them. And only if they’re attracted to them. If they’re not attracted to them then it’s a wtf situation. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a man telling a woman how he’s willing to unleash the demons within her. That in itself I feel is an isotope. I just laugh when they literally write novels about it. It’s hilarious to me idk 😂
Ta**** Posted June 15, 2023 Author Posted June 15, 2023 13 minutes ago, Mr-Brown said: Yea shame but it's always gonna be like that! The amount of people who I've talked to when they join and then disappear after a day or two is about 80% the scare them off with their "inappropriate" first message. They just can't help themselves. They post on every girls wall too. "Message me" or "fake profile" because they don't get a reply. They really don’t realize that one shark scares everybody out of the water, do they?
Ta**** Posted June 15, 2023 Author Posted June 15, 2023 2 hours ago, Anya69bj said: I'm not a beautiful woman as described in all the glossy maps, I have curves, wobbles, and I lurve my body. Turns out many others do to.. I am confident in myself to not try & compete with other woman, and can ignore those men & yes other woman who would look to put me down or degrade me. Does it hurt, yes, for a minute, you wonder wot could I do differently how do I get them to like me, & then I remember I love myself wobbles & all, and they are the ones missing out not me... x That confidence is sexier than all the makeup and filters out there. I haven’t looked at your profile, so I don’t know what you look like, but I don’t need to. There is absolutely nothing with curves, wobbles, etc, and often times those are the things that makes the right person go bonkers for you.
PhattBotumgal Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 I don't mind the barrage of vulgar comments. The weeds are identifying themselves and will be pulled and cast aside immediately. I'm no oil ***ting, but I do expect courtesy, respect, and a proper introduction 🤷♀️
Goddess_Fifi Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 20 minutes ago, d3adlyd0ll said: Honestly, you rambled for no reason? Women like the validation that they’re sexy and wanted… if they’re attracted to them. And only if they’re attracted to them. If they’re not attracted to them then it’s a wtf situation. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a man telling a woman how he’s willing to unleash the demons within her. That in itself I feel is an isotope. I just laugh when they literally write novels about it. It’s hilarious to me idk 😂 Not all women seek vulger, rude and unwarranted validation, in fact for me the way someone communicates with me determines whether I will remain attracted, a person can be absolutely stunning in appearance however their character can be extremely ugly. I per don't appreciate a man who that I don't know on an intimate level unleashing his vile thoughts of his intentions, don't project your demons my way period.
Ta**** Posted June 15, 2023 Author Posted June 15, 2023 8 hours ago, d3adlyd0ll said: Honestly, you rambled for no reason? Women like the validation that they’re sexy and wanted… if they’re attracted to them. And only if they’re attracted to them. If they’re not attracted to them then it’s a wtf situation. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a man telling a woman how he’s willing to unleash the demons within her. That in itself I feel is an isotope. I just laugh when they literally write novels about it. It’s hilarious to me idk 😂 * I don’t know how many women you’re getting to know on a personal level, but from my experience, most are looking for something more substantial than bottomless validation. If that’s what you’re here for, more power to you, but you’re not the majority.
Goddess_Fifi Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 I think what is actually being discussed here, is lack of self control, social etiquette and and awareness, just because this a BDSM app that does not mean people should lack common decency, politeness, manners and integrity.
Deleted Member Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 51 minutes ago, TallBastard said: Your profile states you’re looking for men, so I don’t know how many women you’re getting to know on a personal level, but from my experience, most are looking for something more substantial than bottomless validation. If that’s what you’re here for, more power to you, but you’re not the majority. Wow. Youre one of the weeds clearly 🤣 cmon man, get a grip and realize what you are saying.
Ch**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Great and very interesting topic.. But although this harsh reality, and maybe because I am a man, I feel more empathy and sympathy for those man who will never ever receive any intros on their DM’s: the so called incels if you want. That must be, inside these kind of dynamics, the loneliest that you can ever feel, and at the same time a very frustration producing circumstance which indeed could cause rage. At least the beautiful woman who’s ***ed by shitty messages she can still pick in the bunch, and for sure she can pick those messages that are not shitty, for sure there are many.. I’ve checked on cute girls inbox so I’ve seen it what’s in there..
d3**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 1 hour ago, Goddess_Fifi said: Not all women seek vulger, rude and unwarranted validation, in fact for me the way someone communicates with me determines whether I will remain attracted, a person can be absolutely stunning in appearance however their character can be extremely ugly. I per don't appreciate a man who that I don't know on an intimate level unleashing his vile thoughts of his intentions, don't project your demons my way period. It’s a way of communicating desires and no one should have to sensor themselves due to your insecurity. And it isn’t rude to do these things. Maybe you’re more vanilla than you lead on.
d3**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 1 hour ago, TallBastard said: Your profile states you’re looking for men, so I don’t know how many women you’re getting to know on a personal level, but from my experience, most are looking for something more substantial than bottomless validation. If that’s what you’re here for, more power to you, but you’re not the majority. The validation is part of it. You can create something substantial from it. Just because it’s filthy doesn’t mean you can’t build from it. Maybe you’re more on the vanilla end of things but over here, communication is important. And this is a type of communication, a preview if you will.
Co**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Whoah, some of you need to take a deep breath before weighing in, and being unpleasant. The OP was just speaking his Truth, and thoughts, which are interesting and Valid.
FETMOD-BD Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 I'm only giving one warning on this thread - The unpleasantness needs to stop! Everyone is entitled to an opinion and to discuss and debate - but name calling, humiliating or antagonistic comments and general nastiness don't fly on this site. Don't make me start dishing out "time outs" for not complying with FETMod.
Goddess_Fifi Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 51 minutes ago, d3adlyd0ll said: It’s a way of communicating desires and no one should have to sensor themselves due to your insecurity. And it isn’t rude to do these things. Maybe you’re more vanilla than you lead on. I'm far from insecure or vanilla, I said I don't appreciate that behaviour from people that I am not personally intimate with, comprehension is fundamental when reading.
To**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 😂😂I got overwhelmed and deleted my pictures. Your right it’s no fun. Women seem to dislike me most the time and make unfair assumptions about me based of my appearance and men are visual creatures and don’t seem to care about what’s underneath. I am a demisexual and I love deep intelligent conversations and debates. I love the arts and want a companion/ friend / mentor who is also artistically inclined and cares more about my spirit then my meat suit.
le**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 I think it’s a mix - obviously on a site like this people post their pictures with intent of getting comments and attention - it’s incumbent on the users here to not be nasty when dealing with rejection, and unfortunately men in our society haven’t been taught how to handle being rejected
Ju**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 I have been, and still am, extremely disappointed with members of my gender. Raising daughters, having had a couple of wives, and good female friends, all I've heard is how shitty guys are to women on dating apps. Hell, any social media. Ive learned not to read the degrading and plain disrespectful comments left by others. I've done it enough, called out enough of them only to raise my *** pressure and do little else. I try and post positive comments, a joke or just a heart. In my messaging interactions I stay respectful and considerate. Do into others. Heaven forbid that my comment be the one that's the last straw and pushes someone over the edge. I have a lot going on IRL and zero clue about what they have going on. I don't want to even entertain the idea that my rude, vulgar, mysoginistic or assholic comment be the one that ends someones life or causes them to act out to hurt themselves. I don't know when it started, I know it was there in the dial up days, but it's sickening. Between wanna be, disrespectful Doms, Incels, trolls and the like it's a wonder to me that women even use these apps. Is this a battle we can even win? How do we, as the other guys in the comments effectively shut these people down, or educate or enlighten them?
BARBWIRED694812 Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 I feel like that all I'm good for is a f**ktoy. I used to be a stripper & ur right I feel very insecure & I dont let people in my world cause I just get used. And when I stick up for myself I'm a bitch. I dress provocatively but if I dont wanna f**k I'm stuck up. Thank u for taking a deeper look n2 a subject not many think about
Ju**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 6 hours ago, TallBastard said: Geez, a lot of negative feedback. I’m not being a simp, I have nothing to discuss with a therapist, and don’t see what a stiff wank has to do with anything. Sure, many many women know exactly what they’re doing and feed their egos and their cashapp from men’s attention. What I’m talking about are the women who actually desire a connection, who are maybe too pretty for their own good, and get chased off apps like this and even vanilla apps because they get treated like a wad of kleenex? I actually brought someone to this site from elsewhere in the hopes that she might find what she was looking for, and I ended up getting an earful for all the d**ks in her inbox before she deleted this app. Think that didn’t make someone new to exploring BDSM more callous and skeptical of the caliber of human being she could expect to encounter while trying to explore herself? I have a great friend I met on here and she did three same. Shes new to the scene. After talking with her for a bit, she told me that maybe this isn't for her. Not the topics or acts, but the d**k pics and aggression towards her. She left the app. She did come back awhile later and has had to adjust her interactions on here. But still, WTAF to have to leave the app in the first place because she's a "bitch" for saying no or having someone threatening to find her after being refused.
Ju**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 1 hour ago, lexadex said: I think it’s a mix - obviously on a site like this people post their pictures with intent of getting comments and attention - it’s incumbent on the users here to not be nasty when dealing with rejection, and unfortunately men in our society haven’t been taught how to handle being rejected I think your last sentence is the root cause.
Ju**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 1 hour ago, Tower91mystique said: 😂😂I got overwhelmed and deleted my pictures. Your right it’s no fun. Women seem to dislike me most the time and make unfair assumptions about me based of my appearance and men are visual creatures and don’t seem to care about what’s underneath. I am a demisexual and I love deep intelligent conversations and debates. I love the arts and want a companion/ friend / mentor who is also artistically inclined and cares more about my spirit then my meat suit. I used to be shallow but as Ive aged, and changed my outlook in general, I chat with the intention of getting to know the person. Sure, at least for me, I need that physical attraction, but more so I want to see how their mind works, how they communicate, and how badly autocorrect messes with them.
Deleted Member Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Thirsty men are thirsty. Being on a fetish app does not change this. Cast a wide net, as they say. If anything, the fact that they show their true colors so fast is a boon, as they can be blocked, etc. People can and will devolve into the lowest version of themselves when given anonymity. TLDR; Sticks and stones.
le**** Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Touching again on men not knowing how to handle rejection - we simply aren’t educated on how to deal with it at all. So some men avoid approaching women because they *** rejection and others respond to it negatively because they can’t see it as anything but an attack on their worth. I think because we don’t understand how our emotions are tied up in this and because the internet is anonymizing it’s easy to allow our emotions to drive our responses, which is a shame
PhattBotumgal Posted June 15, 2023 Posted June 15, 2023 Think the worst I've come across was a guy into breeding. Instead of ghosting him, I offered feedback, told him that I had to be sterilised during a cesarean delivery. Prick had the audacity to say that almost dying during childbirth was no justification for doing that to my body! Thankfully, I have come to terms with having no more ***, but what if I hadn't? What if I was depressed and felt inadequate as a woman, as i did in the beginning. He's a dangerous guy! I felt a little foolish for even entertaining him, justifying my actions to a complete nobody, who I had conversed with for 5 minutes, in the first place..
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