Dominant female and submissive males

June 16, 2023

I’ve noticed that there is a lack of dominant females and an excess of submissive males. This makes it harder to fulfill my fantasy and kink. Anyone have any suggestions?

June 16, 2023

You joined the site three days ago - did you really expect instant gratification?
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It takes time to find a dominant, and more importantly the right dominant.
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Whilst it's true that male submissives outnumber female dominants by quite some stretch, if you get your profile, expectations, attitude and approach right it's not impossible to find them - but you have to make yourself stand out, make an effort, not expect things on a plate, show that you're a submissive worth getting to know etc.
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Get along to local kink events and munches where you can meet people in the flesh and interact with them, show people who you are.
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Either way if you're expecting something after just 3 days you're going to be sorely disappointed.

June 16, 2023

Join the queue and make your submissions count. Be polite and give plenty of information about yourself, saying how you can serve, and not a list of what you want.

June 16, 2023

Noticed the same thing. Yet, the total number of submissive people, regardless of gender, far more than dominants I think (here).

June 16, 2023

Keep at it

June 16, 2023

8 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

You joined the site three days ago - did you really expect instant gratification?
.
It takes time to find a dominant, and more importantly the right dominant.
.
Whilst it's true that male submissives outnumber female dominants by quite some stretch, if you get your profile, expectations, attitude and approach right it's not impossible to find them - but you have to make yourself stand out, make an effort, not expect things on a plate, show that you're a submissive worth getting to know etc.
.
Get along to local kink events and munches where you can meet people in the flesh and interact with them, show people who you are.
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Either way if you're expecting something after just 3 days you're going to be sorely disappointed.
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I’ve been on fetlife for 2 years now, and still haven’t had luck. I’ve been to munches and local events and have made some connections, but none that went anywhere. I’m just trying to change what I’m doing now

June 16, 2023

8 minutes ago, johnslc said:

Gemini_man thank you for your response. I just joined here but have been on fetlife for almost 2 years now. I’ve been to munches and still no luck. I just didn’t know if there was something wrong with what I’m doing.

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No problem we were all new once - I'd start off by revising your profile which being honest comes across as quite immature and not really showing you've given any thought to what submission means to you - the sticky out tongue pic should go too.
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Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's meant as constructive criticism.

June 16, 2023

10 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

No problem we were all new once - I'd start off by revising your profile which being honest comes across as quite immature and not really showing you've given any thought to what submission means to you - the sticky out tongue pic should go too.
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Sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's meant as constructive criticism.

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No, thank you I’ll take all I can get. I’d love help to revise it

June 16, 2023

Your profile says you worship better than anyone- well if that’s true, it’s better to list why. You wouldn’t go to a job interview and say you should hire me because I’m the best, you’d give examples and reasons why. Just my initial opinion though. It’s difficult because as you said, there are a lot of sub men and not as many dom women so you have to try to really stand out, especially with sites like this your profile and opening messages need to be really good to stand a chance.

June 16, 2023

Absolutely! I guess we can't control what triggers our libidos, but it's hard to get used to the idea of being a Top. Like, even if she's into it, I don't have the gaul to ask for a blowjob.

June 16, 2023

1 hour ago, Lolalaurent said:

Your profile says you worship better than anyone- well if that’s true, it’s better to list why. You wouldn’t go to a job interview and say you should hire me because I’m the best, you’d give examples and reasons why. Just my initial opinion though. It’s difficult because as you said, there are a lot of sub men and not as many dom women so you have to try to really stand out, especially with sites like this your profile and opening messages need to be really good to stand a chance.
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Thank you for the advice

June 16, 2023

This been like this for over 50 years….

June 16, 2023

I recieve a fair few approaches and tbh, I think you might want to rethink your profile.
Perhaps it would appeal to a younger Dom, but not me, but I don't like brats and it feels a little like that.
I have heard there are a lot less of me, if so, think about your USP.

Bon chance little one

June 17, 2023

8 hours ago, johnslc said:

This makes it harder to fulfill my fantasy and kink. Anyone have any suggestions?

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If this is your primary goal, be prepared to hear "Find a ProDomme" frequently. I would suggest you start with considering your mindset.

June 17, 2023

1 hour ago, Clarakink said:

I recieve a fair few approaches and tbh, I think you might want to rethink your profile.
Perhaps it would appeal to a younger Dom, but not me, but I don't like brats and it feels a little like that.
I have heard there are a lot less of me, if so, think about your USP.

Bon chance little one
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Any suggestions on how I can change it? To make it better

June 17, 2023

Check out the Kinkoo app. Plenty of dom females on there.

June 17, 2023

Just keep looking

June 17, 2023

7 hours ago, johnslc said:

Any suggestions on how I can change it? To make it better

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Having read the latest version it reads much better than it did, it shows a little thought and effort which is good - only thing I'd remove is the "Send me a message!" bit, which is unnecessary, and can come across as being a little desperate.
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What I'd work on next are your pics - those you have are the kind of thing you'd put on Insta, or whatever is down with the kids these days, and show a level of immaturity - it's good you have your face showing but maybe try and take a pic that isn't one in a mirror holding your phone - maybe add some that show your body, or hint at your interests, without being graphic about it - play around with ideas, or look at other guys profiles for hints at what you could do.
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Beyond that find approaches to the site that work for you - blindly sending messages to profiles isn't the easiest or only way to find others - get involved in the forums, or spend time in the chat rooms which are both great ways to interact and get talking to people.
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Persevere with the munches and kink events, put yourself out to talk to people there, not with a view to anything happening but purely to network and interact.
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On a positive note, you've shown with this thread, your attitude and the changes you've made that you're willing to listen and learn and that's to be applauded, many men who start threads like yours either don't listen or worse still don't make changes based on the advice you've asked for, so kudos to you for not being one of them.
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Good luck 👍🏻

June 17, 2023

Well it's true? What can a male sub do?

June 17, 2023

1 hour ago, Tmo56NV said:

Well it's true? What can a male sub do?
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There's plenty - won't guarantee a thing, but will certainly enhance the experience and won't harm any potential to increase opportunities.
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Read through this thread and you'll find plenty of advice that is not just applicable to the OP.

June 17, 2023

It's really a very prevalent fallacy... When females self style as "submissive" they simply describe their feminine nature, so most would naturally fall in the category or self identify as submissive, however if you claw beyond this surface of "submissive" aka being true to their natural feminine type... Bond in a close up friendship or relationship, you can then both open up to your kinks .... try to approach as a normal date between a masculine and a feminine, if there's a vibe you can proceed beyond that into the kink and fetishes

June 17, 2023

21 hours ago, J-Dean said:

Check out the Kinkoo app. Plenty of dom females on there.
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Kinkoo is mostly scams

June 18, 2023

the out numbering is nowhere near as bad as it seems

however there are assorted traps guys fall into which makes it seem this way

1) if we talk about a 'shortage of Dommes' then by argument there are not many who are experienced/exploring and either don't have a partner and/or aren't working as Pro - but if you ever follow their own back stories, none woke up decided they were Domme and set about looking for a sub. I mean hell, if any did do this - sub guys would be dismissing them based on their inexperience or whatever.

But I mean you look at their backstory and for many it was something they decided to explore with a partner or perhaps went down a more pro route. Seeking a mentor etc.

2) If we talk about an abundance of sub men then we automatically assume these are again, all high quality 'rivals' - and they're not. They're the guys who sent "hey" messages and call people names when they don't get a response. They're the guys whose ideas of submission centre around their own orgasm or the kinks they're into

they're those who are unwilling to learn and grow

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Looking at those two simple options, showing willingness and growth is always going to get you more noticed by those you seek to impress

while, also, another old saying that "more women would be into Femdom if it actually benefitted them" and that's a good thing to always think about; how can you make the life better for the women you want to serve/impress?

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The other thiiiiing

what most men expect a FLR or relationship with a Domme to be like is largely unrealistic - often housed in fantasy.

There are those in wonderful FLR arrangements, or relationships with a lot of kink - but they often don't match the unrealistic expectations many men hold.

Think about what the relationship looks like - how realistic is it really? I mean, who is paying for the inhouse dungeon and for her to be in leather and latex? Like, seriously.

and anything that is realistic - what can you do to work towards it? Only you know what the relationship you want looks like?