Dominant female and submissive males

[ey****]

The other day I saw posts from 3 different/unrelated people across 2 platforms in a very short space of time which actually all sum up a lot...

Innnnnnnn One (sorry, going all Bullseye for a moment)

A lady who had vowed to herself then when turning 30 she would be no longer doing all the emotional legwork in relationships - now this is something not exclusive to D/s but the amount of sub guys who want Dommes to "show them the way" or "teach me the ropes ha ha pun intended" is embarrassing - the lady did conclude of course that not everyone has all of their s**t together, but there is a difference between growth and continuing to learn and dumping a lot onto your partner 

Innnnnnnn two

A simple, when women say they want a submissive boyfriend, they want a submissive gentleman, not - in her words a Femdom-porn-brained-sicko

I felt the sicko bit was a bit harsh - but I think the big difference between having fetishes/kinks/etc and liking them in a relationship - rather than trying to make them ABOUT your relationship. And maybe she was generalising a lot, but honestly - someone giving a shopping list and then micromanaging how they Dominate them is always going to be a turn off

Innnnnnnn three

Someone's whose advice was more focused to guys in a relationship wishing their girlfriend/wife was more Dominant.   A big problem that when presented poorly, women associate this "more Dominant" as "more responsibilities", "more work" - which is on top of what their present responsibility and workloads are.  Her advice was more slower, less on 'what she can do for me' (i.e. my kinks fetishes) and more 'what can I do for her' --- and honestly, pretty much any man can do this with any partner.  My wife is out today helping with a stall at a wargaming thingy, I know from previous they have poor food choices there so I've said to message me when they leave and I will start dinner - it means it should be about ready for them getting in and they don't need to worry about sorting food, piles of dishes, etc. because I will have proactively done these.  And some of these isn't about submission as such, but generally running-a-household but anyone can start by making sure they're pulling their weight there. 

[si****]

I honestly enjoy being submissive more then dominant at all times

[FLUX_UNLIKELY]

  Friday at 04:08 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

the good ole ration isn't as wide as people think.  That's not to say it doesn't exist, it's just narrower than people think 

The main option you have to look at women having isn't potential subs.  It's a peaceful life

It's not just "what makes me stand out against other subs" it's "what makes me someone she'd want to spend time with" (just as men should ask the same question - i.e. why would I wish to spend time with her) 

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Ohhhh VERY well said!!!

[FLUX_UNLIKELY]

  Friday at 08:23 PM, 24U2CUMON said:

Personally, never gotten super deep into the scenario just some role-play stuff with the X. But I would fit the definition of the switch because I do enjoy both.
So for future information, I’m curious as to what are the basics that you would require and then also switching scenarios what are the basics that you’d be willing to submit to and how does the TP exchange get initiated? Or is that not something you would do with the same person

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I realize the person you were asking already answered but I liked both the question and the response and thought I'd give my 2 cents!

I'm a switch, pretty right down the center, love being on either side equally... *in general* I've tended to be dominant with other women and nonbinary people and submissive with masc leaning folk and most often I stick mostly which ever side of the spectrum I end up on with a specific person.

I HAVE been lucky enough to have several partners over the years with whom I COULD switch to various degrees, it can be a challenge to figure out how things will work in balance, EVERY dynamic is different and MY ability to switch may not be there with someone even if THEY could... until recently every partner I've been able to comfortably switch with the dynamic ended up being such that we took turns but when one of us was in TOP MODE the other would be firmly in sub mode for the duration, whether it be for the day, a few days, when i was SUPER compatible with them maybe just an hour and then something would happen to take our minds off it and after we might reverse roles.

My most recent partner is... lol he is SO NEW for me! Our dynamic is, in a TON of ways, not like any ive ever had (or realized i wanted even!) before I met him. But from the start, the thing that drew me to him HARD was that we have my "holy grail" of switch dynamics, the kind i sort of always dreamed about but knew was probably not an actual possibility... we switch completely fluidly.

If the mood strikes one of us our roles can completely reverse IN MID SENTENCE, and we work so well together that if one has that urge to change the game the other just catches that desire like it's contagious and automatically responds in kind!

It almost SHOULDN'T work, it feels a bit like telepathy or precognution at times and I've honestly hard a really difficult time BELIEVING neither of us are delusional or manipulating the situation... but at this point its undeniably real and I RECOGNIZED it between us long before I managed to KISS the boy🤣

[ai****]

I'm a switch. I believe that when you are having relationship of any type, be it a meet for play or long term thing. If whomever your playing with, pleasure is the main goal. So to be fair and to fulfill fantasies for everyone involved, taking turns is a good way.

[bi****]

I date based on attraction and compatibility. My last girlfriend was new to bdsm. We started vanilla and I introduced her to kink. We explored femdom...chastity play, strap on play, etc...but she wasn't I to those things when we met.

[Th****]

I wish there were more Dom females since I'm a switch an wanna try being a sub

[Sl****]

I was always a dom top but lately I’ve been fantasizing about giving up control to a hot femdom, I’m bi and you can share me Abe do whatever you want

[un****]

I would love myself to find a Dommes/mistress

[Pr****]

That would be awesome! In the mean time I'm watching sissy porno wearing clothes c**k locked

[Sw****]

Unfortunately, there's nothing that anyone can do. Unless there's more visibility around femme dommes on social media, ppl are going to have this stereotypical idea about BDSM. That women submit & that men take charge. So we're just gonna have to wait for ppl to have the courage to challenge their own beliefs around BDSM.

[fr****]

I don't think it's a lack of FemDommes, I think they just know when to show that side and when not to. It's not everyone's cup of tea and there's a lot of backlash in some instances.

[pu****]

A lot of submissive men actually are trying to dom from the bottom. It's off putting, and very common. Perhaps what's why the Dommes aren't so seemingly interested or around.

[Deleted Member]

I don't think the issue is with femme domme, only that it usually becomes findom. Embrace your power responsibly ladies. Men obviously like it, simps and the power hungry are unfortunately ruining it for the rest of us. Be a caring mistress and take your pleasure sexually not financially. It's a dynamic.

[in****]

No solution. Or suggestion. You just have to send good signals and be patient. Eventually these rare dommes show up. They're apex predators. You don't see them very often. But sometimes, starboard, a fin!

[in****]

These dommes are rare. You just have to sit still, send good signals. Eventually they appear and destroy. Keep the faith dear friend. Apex predators are hard to find. Just control your breathing

[Deleted Member]

The question is, are you truly submissive? You're talking about your fantasy and kinks, but a dom is not here to do what you and be tailored to your needs. Yes, I know there's an understanding, limits, and boundaries put in place. But I thought not being in control was a part of the kink. But if you're trying to control how you are dominated, doesn't that kinda take away from being dominated?

[Deleted Member]

Maybe, either way, I won't find out because I like my ***. I'm not willing to give it away for role play, I work hard for it. Hope you queen's best. I kneel before you.

[Mr****]

True submissive should get it to pleasing a dom no matter what it is she demands from you. You should find arousal to serving her needs or wants

[ge****]

  10 hours ago, MrMyzstikMoon said:

True submissive should get it to pleasing a dom no matter what it is she demands from you. You should find arousal to serving her needs or wants

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Firstly could you define a "true" submissive please? Last time I looked there was no single definition, rather a bunch of very unique definitions as defined by two (or more) individuals in a specific dynamic.
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As for "pleasing a dom no matter what it is she demands from you" - I presume you meant to add "that's within your limits and boundaries and part of pre-negotiated play" at the end of that sentence?

[Mr****]

Well firstly a “true” submissive shouldn’t have any boundaries that’s the part of “true” a “limited” sub has limits and boundaries. If you have boundaries look for a dom that has those same boundaries.

[Th****]

  On 12/5/2024 at 5:33 PM, purplpeopleeater said:

A lot of submissive men actually are trying to dom from the bottom. It's off putting, and very common. Perhaps what's why the Dommes aren't so seemingly interested or around.

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This. 

Most men who seek Dominant women claiming to be submissives *aren't* actually submissive and they don't actually want a Dominant. They're more often bottoms seeking service tops and no D/s involved or they're Dominant bottoms who actually want service submissives who are enjoy or are at least comfortable with topping. 

The struggle for them here is their misogyny and often internalized homophobia and their perceptions around the only acceptable way for them to enjoy something is for them to be compelled "against their will" 

Edited January 4 by ThaliaV

[ch****]

Keep searching as a mistress I have my found my sub and my partner all in one

[ge****]

  14 hours ago, MrMyzstikMoon said:

Well firstly a “true” submissive shouldn’t have any boundaries that’s the part of “true” a “limited” sub has limits and boundaries. If you have boundaries look for a dom that has those same boundaries.

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That's *your* definition of a "true" submissive though and most definitely not one that is widely held in the kink community and even then I would contest it's validity.
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For example would you happily amputate a submissive, or maybe insist they had "MrMyzstikMoon's Slut" tattooed across their forehead?
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No, thought not. Extreme examples I know, but they're still boundaries for both you and a submissive and completely undo your definition of a "true" submissive - there will be other less extreme examples I'm sure.
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*Every* dominant and submissive has boundaries and limits and they aren't any less "true" because of it - as I said, the *only* definition of a "true" submissive (or dominant for that matter) is the one agreed between two (or more) informed and consenting adults - and that definition can cover an extremely broad spectrum.

[jj****]

I belief my ***s are what makes me a sub at times and enjoy causing myself a little ***. I will find what I enjoy and all my limits but only through experience. I already have my forever partner in my wife.