Silentsiren Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 I am not new to bdsm or kink. I am posting this here though because my husband is. Not to mention it can be considered a newbish question. The man I was with before my husband I introduce to BDSM. I am pan, and am I switch though I much rather be submissive especially with men. Long story short, the other man I was with broke our rules and ended up hurting me in a way. I blamed myself for a long time. Sometimes I still feel to blame. But I remind myself that he broke our rules we had in place for a reason. Not to mention I found out there were other incidents with other girls. Because of all of that I have been terrified to tell my husband what I'm into or even ask for anything. We have been together 10 years and he just found out pulling my hair is a turn on. He knows I'm pan, and I'd be more than happy for a threesome if we could ever both agree on a girl. We never have, two totally different taste. My husband is very vanilla and extremely lazy in the bedroom. It drives me crazy. I love him but I am so damn sexually frustrated it's not even funny. Like it would be nice to get back into my play but honestly if I could just get a good hard fuck I'd be happy at this point. I've tried to Express that I'm not happy sexually but it never comes out right and all I can get out is I want more. What do I do?
ey**** Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 something I kinda think is that if you have a new partner of whom this is new to, he's a lot less likely to break rules : especially not deliberately Saying that - I appreciate raising with a partner can be hard, there's the general of course worry that they'll think it's weird and runaway - but - at the same time, not raising leaves you unsatisfied. That he knows hair pulling turns you on - start by confirming that and giving other examples of what does or might turn you on. Ask him what turns him on.
Deleted Member Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 i am married , and i know when u fantasy or ur pleasure r not fullfill , it effects all the area of ur life and relation. as i see it all man have fantasy and they r turned own by other women then their own , then be the other women ,, seduction is one thing a man cannot ignore and when u do make him wild and that doesnt work i think u need a person who thinks like u
Deleted Member Posted June 11, 2019 Posted June 11, 2019 10 years in wow, I told my ex 7 years in and it nearly finished us then. She accepted my fetish but things weren't the same after. I don't know if it's a good idea if they are really vanilla. But if he is open to things I'm sure he will be ok
Silentsiren Posted June 11, 2019 Author Posted June 11, 2019 12 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said: something I kinda think is that if you have a new partner of whom this is new to, he's a lot less likely to break rules : especially not deliberately Saying that - I appreciate raising with a partner can be hard, there's the general of course worry that they'll think it's weird and runaway - but - at the same time, not raising leaves you unsatisfied. That he knows hair pulling turns you on - start by confirming that and giving other examples of what does or might turn you on. Ask him what turns him on. What if that doesn't work though? Over the past few years I've tried to get him to put a little more effort into it and get no where
Silentsiren Posted June 11, 2019 Author Posted June 11, 2019 9 hours ago, drypista said: i am married , and i know when u fantasy or ur pleasure r not fullfill , it effects all the area of ur life and relation. as i see it all man have fantasy and they r turned own by other women then their own , then be the other women ,, seduction is one thing a man cannot ignore and when u do make him wild and that doesnt work i think u need a person who thinks like u 4 hours ago, Chiana said: 10 years in wow, I told my ex 7 years in and it nearly finished us then. She accepted my fetish but things weren't the same after. I don't know if it's a good idea if they are really vanilla. But if he is open to things I'm sure he will be ok I have tried to interest him in any way I can. Different looks and everything. Nothing really works. Truth be told he's not really interested in sex all that much period. Blah I don't know x.x I think I am just going to keep it to myself. I just need to accept I lost this battle a long time ago
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