Lololauren Posted June 19, 2023 Posted June 19, 2023 I wanted to know how others deal with daddy issues when they're legitimately a concern. My dad left th family when I was quite young. I've had a fair bit of therapy on it. I'm now coming to the realisation that my kink is daddy related, but I don't know how to unpick harm from fun.
ol**** Posted June 19, 2023 Posted June 19, 2023 This is a difficult topic. Were you close to your dad?
MsDrawers Posted June 19, 2023 Posted June 19, 2023 It's a tricky one. I don't think there's anything inherently unhealthy or harmful about exploring those feelings through kink and sex as long as you can check in with yourself and establish an open, supportive relationship in which you communicate well with your partner. I have a load that are absolutely bound up with my own issues and I have played with them in a number of ways. I also know, though, that these are my most ***, raw places and if I can't trust a partner with that, I'd rather not go there at all. Which is to say, your lines are yours. Tread carefully but these feelings are a part of you too.
MsDrawers Posted June 19, 2023 Posted June 19, 2023 Be wary of anyone wanting to delve into those sensitive places too quickly.
Lololauren Posted June 19, 2023 Author Posted June 19, 2023 18 minutes ago, oldfellow said: This is a difficult topic. Were you close to your dad? Not really, I've never really known him or any father figure properly tbh
bi**** Posted June 19, 2023 Posted June 19, 2023 I would say the important part really comes down to sex. If you can separate the daddy-kink stuff and the sex stuff then you'll be good. This will almost certainly mean no shagging daddy, at least not until after a while when your kink turns into relationship.
ol**** Posted June 19, 2023 Posted June 19, 2023 6 minutes ago, bittenkiss said: I would say the important part really comes down to sex. If you can separate the daddy-kink stuff and the sex stuff then you'll be good. This will almost certainly mean no shagging daddy, at least not until after a while when your kink turns into relationship. This is probably good advice. DD/lg does not need to have a sexual component. To the OP: That said it might also be sensible to seek some proffesional guidance so that you can understand a little more of your own feelings a little better.
Dy**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 Daddy issues, and Mommy issues for that matter, are really common in all people, including those that practice "vanilla" relationships. This smart man by name of Sigmund Freud created an entire subcategory of psychoanalysis about it. You shouldn't shun yourself, or your interests because of it. What you should do is be aware that it can cloud your judgment when selecting an appropriate partner. Their age has nothing to do with this. Their look, background, etc has nothing to do with this. Your subconscious interpretation of things is what is at issue. You said yourself your dad was not in your life, so anything you attach to that unknown type of relationship for you, is all the idealized version of what you believe a dad to be. But, that's not what you should be evaluating for in a partner. You need to remind yourself to focus on whether they can be trusted, whether they active listen to you, and whether or not they are able to provide for your needs that are connected to your intimate self. Things like your emotional support (i.e. aftercare is part of this), are they establishing consent between both you and them, and not just forcing things out of you (or in you for that matter). The more you focus on objectively evaluating partners, the less you'll fall back on this old ideal you created by the abandonment you suffered as a child. And frankly, it will help you discover healthier relationships. Good luck!
YorkshireBiker Posted February 7 Posted February 7 OP, how have you managed with this? I’m not an expert but my initial thought would be if it feels right and you’re happy with what you’re doing then have fun, but if it feels at all uncomfortable then you might have ventured into the harmful territory.
Deleted Member Posted March 19 Posted March 19 On 6/19/2023 at 2:51 PM, Lololauren said: I wanted to know how others deal with daddy issues when they're legitimately a concern. My dad left th family when I was quite young. I've had a fair bit of therapy on it. I'm now coming to the realisation that my kink is daddy related, but I don't know how to unpick harm from fun. Just talk in confidence to an experienced Daddy to try and work your way through it
Brixlyi Posted April 15 Posted April 15 On 6/19/2023 at 6:51 AM, Lololauren said: I wanted to know how others deal with daddy issues when they're legitimately a concern. My dad left th family when I was quite young. I've had a fair bit of therapy on it. I'm now coming to the realisation that my kink is daddy related, but I don't know how to unpick harm from fun. I want you to know that I had an adopted dad because I didn't know who my real dad was I hadn't adopted that who used to beat and *** me and I think that's why I like this lifestyle now because of the horrible crazy stuff he's done to me but you know you tend to find excitement think of it as since your dad would be the one that left turn it around you be the dominant you be the one to walk away you be the one to leave men weeping you be the stronger version of yourself
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