Deleted Member Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 Dear Dominants, Please be more aware on how your actions affect your submissive. I have had no less than four submissives message me in the last week looking for advice. Their dominants had recently dropped them. They had gone from practicing 24/7 at various depths to completely alone. When a submissive gives over that level of control they depend on their dominant for everything. We don’t just exchange power, it becomes a way of life every emotion and decision is filtered through our dominant. Our dominant becomes our reason to keep breathing, we crave their attention, affection and approval. When that is suddenly taken away, the submissive panics. They no longer are able to lean on their dominant, suddenly they are solely responsible for everything about their lives. Which leaves them more prone to allow abusive practices because they just want to be back under the guidance and protection of a dominant. Please stop using silent treatment as a punishment, you are taking away your submissives safe place and the more often you do it the less and less she will come to you with her problems with the *** of being left alone. Please, please don’t take their collar as punishment, it’s devastating to our psyche it destroys our spirit. Be gentle with your sub’s emotional state and understand that you are their everything whether you are upset with them or not.
jc**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 Then dont be submissive sounds like a formula for failure
al**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 So amazingly well put! Thank you for sharing this and bringing to light this issue cause I fully agree.
al**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 Great info for a newbie Dom no a dude waiting to give it a go. Thank you
Ma**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 Generalising. To me those Doms are not Dom but tin put dom. A mask they wear to get p*ssy. Dropping a sub after submitting is 🚩🚩🚩🚩
st**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 Oh, wow. This is a really important post. I wish that I could repost but I will add a like and hope that Firefox’s comment gets spread everywhere. Not in such a D/S relationship myself, this not only makes total sense, it’s eye-opening.
Deleted Member Posted June 20, 2023 Author Posted June 20, 2023 Seems abit exaggerated why not find someone else instead of panicking
Dom_Kev Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 Incredibly well put… a submissive isn’t a throw away item. If you have an issue, talk to them, don’t just ignore them. You should want to keep them, nurture them, teach them. Someone that is willing to give you that level of dedication is someone that is worth holding on to.
Deleted Member Posted June 20, 2023 Author Posted June 20, 2023 the Dom needs to have emotional responsibility to the Sub, many men confuse casual sex with a submissive woman and relationship with a woman a submissive woman. It is always necessary to be careful with your intentions and always make it clear whether or not you want a relationship. being dominant in the bedroom is easy, the hard part is being dominant in everyday life..
Dom_Kev Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 8 minutes ago, sefton529 said: Seems abit exaggerated why not find someone else instead of panicking That’s a bit like saying “why don’t you swim instead of just panicking and drowning”. Someone in sun drop doesn’t have the ability to think… their thought process is with the person that has ghosted them. It is difficult to explain what it is like until you have witnessed it… but someone that properly submits relies on their dominant for… everything… that is what a 24/7 D/s relationship is
Ra**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 Being released is so damn hard on us. It can break you.
ze**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 That's what happens when you choose a dom by looks. The pretty boys come on here all the time doing that. If you're gonna base who you choose on the profile rather than talking to them and finding out who they are underneath, you're always gonna have this problem. It's just like regular dating, yall will purposely take the handsome piece of garbage over the guy you'll treat you right then complain about the dudes who are clearly garbage. That's why I have zero sympathy, yall are choosing these guys who prove that they are garbage.
Deleted Member Posted June 20, 2023 Author Posted June 20, 2023 Panicking and drowning and being ghosted r two very different things, yeah it sucks that people will do that but that's life you've just got to get back out there and find someone better
fu**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 8 minutes ago, zephyrhills617 said: That's what happens when you choose a dom by looks. The pretty boys come on here all the time doing that. If you're gonna base who you choose on the profile rather than talking to them and finding out who they are underneath, you're always gonna have this problem. It's just like regular dating, yall will purposely take the handsome piece of garbage over the guy you'll treat you right then complain about the dudes who are clearly garbage. That's why I have zero sympathy, yall are choosing these guys who prove that they are garbage. Yes!!! Then subs have sub drop and panic. Plus it’s understandable life gets in the way maybe a change in work routine or a life change.
Ma**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 12 minutes ago, zephyrhills617 said: That's what happens when you choose a dom by looks. The pretty boys come on here all the time doing that. If you're gonna base who you choose on the profile rather than talking to them and finding out who they are underneath, you're always gonna have this problem. It's just like regular dating, yall will purposely take the handsome piece of garbage over the guy you'll treat you right then complain about the dudes who are clearly garbage. That's why I have zero sympathy, yall are choosing these guys who prove that they are garbage. Well said mate.
st**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 I see some really insensitive comments out here like someone saying “don’t be a submissive” or “that’s what you get (for whatever reason they vomit out here)” - JFC people. Subs are people with heart soul and spirit. To give their all and then simply be ghosted like that is paf**kingthetic. And have some balls to show a thread of empathy instead of judgment FFS. No, strike that. Expose your a**holic attitudes by sh*tposting. People who have sincere hearts will see the moronic responses instead of amplifying someone’s truth. To the subs and doms who are about being there thru thick and thin, I honor you. No one can ever know the complexities of your own relationship - what I see is two partners providing for each other, no matter the intensity. No matter how extreme it’s beautiful to witness that ultimate trust. Be more supportive of subs, PLEASE. Sorry that this triggered me. Not sorry tho.
al**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 17 minutes ago, zephyrhills617 said: That's what happens when you choose a dom by looks. The pretty boys come on here all the time doing that. If you're gonna base who you choose on the profile rather than talking to them and finding out who they are underneath, you're always gonna have this problem. It's just like regular dating, yall will purposely take the handsome piece of garbage over the guy you'll treat you right then complain about the dudes who are clearly garbage. That's why I have zero sympathy, yall are choosing these guys who prove that they are garbage. In my opinion this is not true. Like ANY relationship, either dating or Dom/Sub there has to be some sort of physical attraction. I could find a guy attractive and a different woman could say no way to same guy. That’s why it’s incredibly….everyone is different and has their own tastes/likes. I think it’s incredibly unfair of you to say “all us subs” are here only for the pretty boys.
Je**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 20 minutes ago, zephyrhills617 said: That's what happens when you choose a dom by looks. The pretty boys come on here all the time doing that. If you're gonna base who you choose on the profile rather than talking to them and finding out who they are underneath, you're always gonna have this problem. It's just like regular dating, yall will purposely take the handsome piece of garbage over the guy you'll treat you right then complain about the dudes who are clearly garbage. That's why I have zero sympathy, yall are choosing these guys who prove that they are garbage. Lol right it couldn’t possibly be the men who are fault for their own bad behavior! It’s the women who chose them who are to blame. And where exactly did you see anything about looks in this post?? You’re projecting your own insecurities onto this post.
littlemiss37 Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 hi thanks for this. I had to let my Dom go but now I notice there was red flags etc. I'm in a better dynamic now. if ne submissives r struggling with after needing to let there Dom go or there Dom letting them go I'm a pm away. I was once in that situation and it's not nice. but it taught me about slowing down and researching this lifestyle and I'm in a much better dynamic now with lovely Chastity xxx
Je**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 12 minutes ago, funburlingtonmale said: Yes!!! Then subs have sub drop and panic. Plus it’s understandable life gets in the way maybe a change in work routine or a life change. Sub drop isn’t about choosing a partner based on looks lol. It happens even in the best of D/s relationships.
Je**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 Wow it’s f**cking gross how many men are blaming the women in these scenarios or putting down being a sub in general. If the kink scene isn’t for you little boys then move along. If dating isn’t something you’re mature enough then stay at home in your mom’s basement instead of inflicting your issues on the rest of us
Lozz-9290 Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 I was dropped by my master and i have never felt such loss... it came to light that through out my time as his sub he had lied about his age, he was 58 and that's not what he told me, he said he got divorced 6 years ago when infact he was still married and living with her happily and many other things including his name.. the dishonesty was impossible to understand when I had given myself to him fully and obeyed his every need
Du**** Posted June 20, 2023 Posted June 20, 2023 31 minutes ago, zephyrhills617 said: That's what happens when you choose a dom by looks. The pretty boys come on here all the time doing that. If you're gonna base who you choose on the profile rather than talking to them and finding out who they are underneath, you're always gonna have this problem. It's just like regular dating, yall will purposely take the handsome piece of garbage over the guy you'll treat you right then complain about the dudes who are clearly garbage. That's why I have zero sympathy, yall are choosing these guys who prove that they are garbage. And… you WANT to be judged by your personality?
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