Addressing the Scammer/*** seeking Influx. STAY SAFE!

[Chloebear]

To note: my understanding is that fet does NOT allow Findom/mes to operate, even though it recognises this as a legitimate kink.

These new ones ask for *** for petrol, food, bday outfits, say they’re stranded, or it’s their bday and they want to go out or they want their nails done. Just because the request is for something and not a cash amount, this is still a transaction. DON’T FALL FOR IT!!

REPORT!

We are not the easy marks tiktok or whatever has indicated. We are a safety focussed community who group together and look out for each other. Stay safe everyone ☺️

[Ma****]

Sometimes the app sends my messages twice and I'm real as can be so I would suggest looking for another red flag besides the double messages

[Am****]

Oh yes, I meant from different male accounts. And these messages are long enough to not just be a coincidence.

[ey****]

6 hours ago, takanar said:

Should also ban any mention of other social media platforms and usernames in users profiles. Typically when sites/apps en*** these kinds of things they simply try to get users off the platform as soon as possible and still use the platform as an advertisement by technically skirting around the rules.

this is against the rules - you report under 'contact details'

[ey****]

13 hours ago, ZanderFTL said:

What happened here? MASSIVE influx yesterday and today. Was there a TikTok saying this was a sugar daddy site or something? Wondering what caused ash the signups

yes - that's what happened.  a (now deleted) viral tiktok said this was very good for sugar daddies 

in turn everybody who installs the app pushes the app up the charts which means more people see it which means more sign ups

this also makes it difficult to sort as there's obviously people who are interested without a financial angle who shouldn't be restricted or removed

[ey****]

5 hours ago, MadMetalMax said:

The problem is when you report those profiles nothing happens and they stay up because I've reported one in particular that's in my area at least 3-4 times and they haven't done a single thing about it! And that's not the first time this has happened to me! But I'm trying to do my part only to be ignored

the site can sometimes be a little slow but it also tends not to be knee-jerk.   

there needs to be enough evidence that the only intention is for *** transactions. There are users who initially signed up with selling links who were asked to remove them, did so, and are still active members of the site who now comply with the guidelines

there has to be a little chance around "I didn't know you weren't allowed to do that"

[ey****]

2 hours ago, Amani916 said:

Oh yes, I meant from different male accounts. And these messages are long enough to not just be a coincidence.

report both and in each report reference the other user.  

people often hyperfocus on femme-presenting scammers targeting men - but - the opposite is also true

[Deleted Member]

Another redflag.. instantly wanting to move to another platform. (Telegram, Skype, whatsapp... ) without having a decent chat.

[Deleted Member]

Or directly into ´dominant´ mode.. requesting stuff. Most likely to start a blackmail scheme later on. Don't forget.. D/s is all about connection and consent from both sides.

[Va****]

I am so impressed with this site.
-
I did not know I was so popular with the just under 40 set. It’s like, as soon as they sign on - boom - they find me, I’m their perfect guy, they are will to relocate - immediately.
-
I never knew so many had grandaddy issue.
-
I should have signed up years ago.

[Deleted Member]

Sometimes reporting them will get your reported yourself.

[Deleted Member]

'Financial domination' goes against everything kink stands for in terms of responsibility, especially any responsibility for the top. Only in certain 24/7 or TPE situations could it be feasible, and even then it's on the edge of exploitation.

Agree with the stance on sex work, it is work and should be respected. But it has no place within a community when the community is used as a market.

[ha****]

They’re poor spellers as well. I’ve been reporting. I’d become a MOD just to cancel their accounts

[Chloebear]

2 hours ago, Mikeylikes2 said:

Sometimes reporting them will get your reported yourself.

There’s no way for them to know if you don’t tell them.

[Chloebear]

1 hour ago, bigcupoftea said:

'Financial domination' goes against everything kink stands for in terms of responsibility, especially any responsibility for the top. Only in certain 24/7 or TPE situations could it be feasible, and even then it's on the edge of exploitation.

Agree with the stance on sex work, it is work and should be respected. But it has no place within a community when the community is used as a market.

Financial domination is a kink though for some. They enjoy it, not from a monetary gain perspective. Whilst it cannot happen on this site and it’s easy to see how it could be exploited, it’s also important not to judge those who have this as a kink. If they act with consent then it is their choice to engage in it.

[Deleted Member]

I think that's where I f**ked up. Lol, I'm learning.

[FreddieJobbs]

I agreed with Chloe, tattletaling is the only way not to get reported from those TikTok scammers.

[Ta****]

16 minutes ago, GeneGrey said:

I agreed with Chloe, tattletaling is the only way not to get reported from those TikTok scammers.

Ultimately, this community will be what we want it to be, and what we allow it to be. Personally, I’d prefer not to be bombarded with messages with links to onlyfans or cashapp, and seeing “spoil me”, “tribute”, or “paypig” in every profile that comes across my feed. Or at the very least least make “findom” a role so I can filter it out.

[ny****]

Yesterday at 03:02 AM, eyemblacksheep said:

the site can sometimes be a little slow but it also tends not to be knee-jerk.   

there needs to be enough evidence that the only intention is for *** transactions. There are users who initially signed up with selling links who were asked to remove them, did so, and are still active members of the site who now comply with the guidelines

there has to be a little chance around "I didn't know you weren't allowed to do that"

Don’t make excuses for them. It’s blatantly on profiles and they do nothing and a week later it’s still there. Two weeks later. Still there. The site is awful at enforcing its code of conduct. It’s a fact. They need to spend *** on staff to focus on this and they don’t want to cut into their profit margin.

[Je****]

1 hour ago, TallBastard said:

Ultimately, this community will be what we want it to be, and what we allow it to be. Personally, I’d prefer not to be bombarded with messages with links to onlyfans or cashapp, and seeing “spoil me”, “tribute”, or “paypig” in every profile that comes across my feed. Or at the very least least make “findom” a role so I can filter it out.

Findom is not allowed on this site at all. 

So they won't make a role for it .

 

 

6 hours ago, Mikeylikes2 said:

Sometimes reporting them will get your reported yourself.

How do you work this out.  

Why would you get reported for reporting scammers?

[Ta****]

9 hours ago, Jeneral_Whore said:

How do you work this out.  

Why would you get reported for reporting scammers?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting they allow it. It’s exploitative, pure and simple, and goes against the equal-partners tenet of BDSM. Sadly, this is going to be an ongoing issue, as they’re still joining, and perhaps a better solution, as opposed to the role idea would be some sort of disclaimer during the account creation process expressly forbidding financial interests.

[FETMOD-BD]

18 hours ago, Mikeylikes2 said:

Sometimes reporting them will get your reported yourself.

You will not get into trouble for reporting scammers either to the site using the "report" function or directly to a FETMOD or Community Manager. You can even get advice from one of our greeters (you will have had a message from one of them when you joined). The site takes fake accounts and scammers seriously, but we do need your help by making us aware when you come across one. 

If someone takes you off the site and then asks for *** on another platform, keep screen-shots of everything and report the incident. 

[Ka****]

11 hours ago, nycgentledaddy said:

Don’t make excuses for them. It’s blatantly on profiles and they do nothing and a week later it’s still there. Two weeks later. Still there. The site is awful at enforcing its code of conduct. It’s a fact. They need to spend *** on staff to focus on this and they don’t want to cut into their profit margin.

Well, reporting does some good. Had 3 younger women try to chat me up (I am NOT that popular) this week who had their accounts suspended pending "verification."

[ey****]

15 hours ago, nycgentledaddy said:

Don’t make excuses for them. It’s blatantly on profiles and they do nothing and a week later it’s still there. Two weeks later. Still there. The site is awful at enforcing its code of conduct. It’s a fact. They need to spend *** on staff to focus on this and they don’t want to cut into their profit margin.

oh I think they can be a little too slow for sure

but, well, I've been on this site since the early days and there was a point where they were VERY strict - like, anyone with even a sniff of anything financial was at least suspended - but there was a lot of collateral damage and folks accounts were being frozen until they verified or changed profile and they simply did not do this.  

and there'd be guys in the middle of a conversation with someone who'd suddenly be pushed to verify and never return, they didn't believe it to be a scam, but felt it was being trigger happy in getting people to verify especially if over a small mishap or an accusation

while. of course, it'd be good to get a happy medium - the only way to avoid collateral damage is to at least offer benefit of the doubt 

[Chloebear]

8 hours ago, TallBastard said:

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting they allow it. It’s exploitative, pure and simple, and goes against the equal-partners tenet of BDSM. Sadly, this is going to be an ongoing issue, as they’re still joining, and perhaps a better solution, as opposed to the role idea would be some sort of disclaimer during the account creation process expressly forbidding financial interests.

This is expressly forbidden as per site rules and code of conduct… we did mention this :)