Just an enquiry about services for cash.

[3S****]

I'm not new to fetish but i would be new to doing BDSM stuff for ***. So before i ramble on remember don't message asking me for services and please don't change my profile to the euro symbol either coz i'm not sure if it's for me yet and i don't want anyone approaching me in this way.

Ok first things first, cons;
I don't have a dungeon or room for one.
I do have toys and know how to keep them clean, also would be open to people bringing their own.
So basically i don't have everything a 'proper' domme would have, i do have basic stuff though like pegging kits, riding crops, fetish clothing and bondage straps/ropes.
I also do get slightly nervous about meeting strangers but from previous experience this goes quite quickly.
A lot of guys expect servicing for free so having the euro symbol would immediately get rid of them, and i have no interest in doing casual stuff with guys for free so that's no problem.

Pros;
Doing sexual things i like for *** doesn't bother me in the slightest, i think i'd feel the same way about BDSM.
I don't have the time to build up a relationship with people to get that intimacy i usually need for BDSM, i think (but am not sure) that being paid would make it so i don't need that intimacy coz it's an exchange kind of thing rather than something personal. Reason why i feel i don't need that intimacy is because being paid would make me feel not used whereas casual it can feel like you are being used (that's why casual doesn't appeal).
*** for doing things i enjoy doing but am not getting because of the no time to build up a relationship thing.

What do you think? Do i have things that people would want or am i wasting my time?
I also desperately miss doing BDSM things and really want to do them but on my terms, did go with vanilla while not in a relationship and waiting for the one but i'm really not feeling fulfilled sexually or spiritually any more (i am in a relationship and he is not interested in doing the things that keep me satisfied).
 

[ey****]

Some thoughts to share

  3 minutes ago, 3SumQueen said:

I don't have a dungeon or room for one.

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not necessarily an issue - but having some premise to operate from is an advantage.

However... if you're over in the North-West... I know there are a few that are hireable and specialise in pros - though, this is something to consider when pricing up.

  4 minutes ago, 3SumQueen said:

So basically i don't have everything a 'proper' domme would have,

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that's ok - "proper" is subjective. You can set your own boundaries/services based on what you have/like 

  5 minutes ago, 3SumQueen said:

Reason why i feel i don't need that intimacy is because being paid would make me feel not used whereas casual it can feel like you are being used

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that's a very valid reason and argument I've often made.  That a lot of guys are effectively seeking to "use" somebody and in this arrangement you are at least getting paid.

There is also scope that you may well build up a relationship and/or intimacy with anyone who is regular - and what you choose to do about that is up to you.

  7 minutes ago, 3SumQueen said:

What do you think? Do i have things that people would want or am i wasting my time?

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A lot is very difficult to gauge until you actually try it.   It does involve a little bit of potentially new learning, not so much about the activities which you obviously know how to do - but in terms of client behaviours to avoid and of course that while one end game of a session is that everyone has a good time, the end game is ideally that the client comes back.

There are things people have done with me in sessions which is along that idea which can simply being doing what was agreed but dangling a little carrot of "next time we could..."

Though, not via promises/offers that can't be kept.

[3S****]

Ok thanks, you often have good advice.
I have some idea what i'm looking for, usually i have to do things spontaneously because i overthink and then put myself off or worry.

I agree until i try it idk what will work, chatting to actual potential clients will probably be better?


 

[ey****]

a problem with (some) potential clients is they'll try to manipulate.

I've seen it happen - there was actually a good quote on Twitter earlier where someone said a problem with a lot of guys with *** is they try to treat Dominants as subs, i.e. by waving the *** trying to shape everything to how they want.

There's a lot of behaviours I see from guys where they'll especially try to catch out anyone new - be it trying to fit too much into a session in the hope you'll overrun.  State how another Dominant does things as how you should - basically a "what can I get out of this" attitude beyond the session.

I know a friend who recently started Pro - and sometimes she ends up giving a little too much leighway to the guys in the hope they'll book or rebook.  

I think the big thing is to have a presence and have people come to you.  But this becomes such a big job in the terms of managing websites, social media, assorted directory sites.   Of course, I have seen women who've made a lot of progress very quickly - but, it can be a lot of work.

[3S****]

I'm pretty good at being strict and picking up on inconssitencies, i can't do submissive and pretty sure being submissive for cash will wreck my head. Plus don't wanna build an empire, just a bit of mutual fun now and then with benefits would do me.