Sp**** Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 Hi, my name is Amy! Wanted to see what do you consider the most important and desirable traits of a sub? Behavior, tasks, etc... Looking forward to seeing your responses below!
Whores Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 For me it's true devotion. Seeing that what we do, even though it is a lot to ask sometimes or harder to endure, you're still open minded, trying your best to be your best and that that ultimately fulfills you and brings you joy.
Pr**** Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 I have a feeling that the answer could be very subjective and vary from one person to another. Personally I look for open and honest. If you know your limits, tell me. If you don’t or are unsure again. Tell me. Communication is king. Behaviour wise I tend to lean more to brats but if that’s not you. Then don’t. But be honest.
Sp**** Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 Communication, honesty, obedience and proactivity. I’d 100% rather My submissive anticipate My needs and meet them rather than having to be told what to do 24/7.
Lolalaurent Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 1 hour ago, Spiral66 said: Communication, honesty, obedience and proactivity. I’d 100% rather My submissive anticipate My needs and meet them rather than having to be told what to do 24/7. So true, that’s also important for me. A sub that knows what will make me happy and does it without having to be asked all the time. That’s the dream
Deleted Member Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 A chemistry, common interests, a connection that has been built over time on trust
ik**** Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 For me, it’s how she carries her self on a daily basis when she walks into a room with the intention to put a smile on peoples faces, good hearted loving, cares about others before herself on her day to day  the little things I would desire should always be done without me having to ask if you truly are submissive than your mothering you’re caring and nurturing and you naturally cater to a man’s needs everything else should fit like a puzzle piece
ik**** Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 3 minutes ago, ikingnj said: For me, it’s how she carries her self on a daily basis when she walks into a room with the intention to put a smile on peoples faces, good hearted loving, cares about others before herself on her day to day  the little things I would desire should always be done without me having to ask if you truly are submissive than your mothering you’re caring and nurturing and you naturally cater to a man’s needs everything else should fit like a puzzle piece If she isn’t dominant in who she is, she can’t be submissive to who she wants 
Mezmerism Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 For me personally, it has to be his loyalty & devotion to me and only me….
do**** Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 Honesty, loyalty, high sex drive, listening skills, self awareness, understanding, and complete submission to name a few.
do**** Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 Just now, doubletrouble129 said: Honesty, loyalty, high sex drive, listening skills, self awareness, understanding, and complete submission to name a few. Oh and bisexual
Br**** Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 Compatibility with my kinks and open minded on trying new things
Xa**** Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 Okay so I'm seeing alot of people commenting here talking about what they seek in a slave when the question is about traits in a submissive. There is a difference, the master/slave dynamic can be fun in short bursts but it is not healthy in a 24/7. When I'm taking a dominant role I prefer a submissive that is confident enough to be openly communicative. The sub has all the power in the power exchange; I want my sub to know that they are ultimately in control and it stops when they say so. A sub that knows what they want and will honestly communicate boundaries is also very desirable. Lastly the kind of sub I find most desirable may want leadership, but should be capable of thriving without it. In short my sub is not a toy for me to use, they are a real person with real value and I ensure that they know it. As a sub these traits that I describe for when i am dom are what I desire most in a dominant. I've been used and ***d enough by posers that think having a submissive excuses their toxic behavior.
Cade Posted June 24, 2023 Posted June 24, 2023 Prior the start of a dynamic, the most desirable traits of a submissive (for me) are intelligence, self-awareness and self-agency, and the understanding that their power is "choice". This is a minimum of what I look for in a potential submissive, from which I feel like a lot of the specifics will be trained and/or en***d once in a dynamic. Traits like honesty, respect, and integrity are more over basic qualities every human should strive for, and for me, take time to confirm (thus, the use of a consideration period in creating my dynamic). Although not trying to hijack the OP's thread, there were a couple statements made I feel someone needs to respond to as they support very dangerous narratives against our culture. Both were made by @Xander-K, to whom I must say, I respectfully disagree. 1. "...The master/slave dynamic can be fun in short bursts but it is not healthy in a 24/7." This statement seems to suggest that owner/property dynamics (like "master/slave") AREN'T viable lifestyle choices. While they may not work for you 24/7, there are people out there that do strive for this experience, and I have seen submissives that have positively flourished in the slave role as it fulfills them, their desires, and lifestyle expectations. Of course, this dynamic is not for everyone, but there are some that 24/7 o/p relationships do work for; stating that they are unhealthy is a judgement call you cannot make. This is dangerous as it belittles and villainizes a significant portion of the lifestyles and relationship dynamics that BDSM and the community should boister and celebrate. 2. "The sub has all the power in the power exchange..." While this may be how it works in your relationship, this is a very dangerous statement that is extremely misleading. If your concept of power is based on "consent", which seems to be what the statement is suggesting, then both the dominant and submissive have EQUAL power as both have the ability to withdraw consent at any time for any reason. This statement is dangerous as it negates consent for the left side of the slash.
ad**** Posted June 25, 2023 Posted June 25, 2023 13 hours ago, ikingnj said: If she isn’t dominant in who she is, she can’t be submissive to who she wants  As a submissive I totally agree with you on this! I need the submissive side to balance me from the daily dominance while at work and other areas. And that’s why I excel as a submissive.
Xa**** Posted June 25, 2023 Posted June 25, 2023 In response to @Cade and to further clarify so noone misunderstands my meaning; when I said that the 24/7 M/S lifestyle isn't healthy in the long term, I was speaking from my own experience (all any of us really can speak from) and I was speaking specifically about toxic doms. People that utilize bdsm as an avenue for "free whores" and "disposable people". The play of 24/7 M/S can be Safe and Sane, and yes indeed it can work beautifully. But if you're in a 24/7 master slave relationship and you have had all the self care, self reliance, and ability to exist as an individual entity outside the dynamic trained out of you, if you exist exclusively as "a toy to be used"; what happens when something happens to your master? What happens when the master loses interest in their toy and leaves. All i can speak from is my own experience, and i know what happened to me when my 24/7 master of 16 years lost interest in their plaything and just left. The point I was making and still am is that the master /slave dynamic can be fun, but it is always most important in any relationship, from any angle, to always maintain and rein*** that people are not things. People have inherent value and worth beyond what they might be able to do for you, and before anyone can choose to be property they have to be able to be an individual. As for the "sub has all the power in the power exchange" bit, I was saying that along the same vein as "black lives matter". Yes of course dominants always have equal rights to give and withdraw consent, but similarly to saying "no, all lives matter" it's not the point, yes of course all lives matter, and of course consent goes both ways, but is anyone really in the dark about that? Does anyone really think that dominants don't have any rights? Really? That's all, thanks and I'm sorry if anyone was mislead by my last post.
Su**** Posted June 26, 2023 Posted June 26, 2023 Well with me, my MASTER already has talked to me before he took ownership of me so he knew what he was getting, I just have to get there to completely be owned by my MASTER
Mu**** Posted July 11 Posted July 11 Well read- I feel a submissive should continue to learn about their role, a the role of the Dominant. Confident- At the end of the day no matter what, the submissive first priority is their safety. Setting boundaries, being honest, finding out likes and dislikes, understanding their love languages, being ok with saying No. intellect- having a good understanding of what drives you. What drives you to be submissive? What are you seeking to achieve? Discernment- Being mindful to the people they talk to. Not just jump at the first person who calls themselves a Dom. Understanding that submission is earned not given, also understanding the submissive has all the power. Honest and open Obedient Meek Selfless
MasterDarcy1979 Posted July 11 Posted July 11 Intelligence. I'm a sapiisexual so I rank intelligence above all else in terms of what turns me on and what I'm looking for. Intelligence comes in all shapes and sizes. It doesn't just equate to grades and qualifications and academia, etc. Intelligence can be a thirst to learn, a deep-set appetite to learn, it can be wisdom and common sense and it can be wit and humour. Personally, I'm not an academic, never have been, never will be, but I do have innate intelligence and wisdom and I have a dry, razor sharp wit. So yes, intelligence is key.
Je**** Posted July 16 Posted July 16 I may have a slightly different perspective from some who answer but in my ideal relationship, the Dominant sets the requirements, as well as what they want from their submissive,so it’s about actively listening and following. The whole idea behind having a submissive is to make the dominant’s life better. Things like hit me punish me really don’t encourage participation from a dominant, any funishment is a reward for good behaviour and doing what makes the dominant’s life better so they have the desire to play. The dominant’s needs before the submissive’s aside from whatever medical needs that they have.
subguy-1963 Posted July 25 Posted July 25 On 7/11/2024 at 12:24 AM, MuscleMommy88 said: Well read- I feel a submissive should continue to learn about their role, a the role of the Dominant. Confident- At the end of the day no matter what, the submissive first priority is their safety. Setting boundaries, being honest, finding out likes and dislikes, understanding their love languages, being ok with saying No. intellect- having a good understanding of what drives you. What drives you to be submissive? What are you seeking to achieve? Discernment- Being mindful to the people they talk to. Not just jump at the first person who calls themselves a Dom. Understanding that submission is earned not given, also understanding the submissive has all the power. Honest and open Obedient Meek Selfless Thank you, for sharing
Westernsky11 Posted Tuesday at 11:41 PM Posted Tuesday at 11:41 PM I find desire and willingness to serve the most sexy. Above all else a desire to submit to the arrangement the most attractive trait.
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