Trying to Explore

[KaiRo-8442]

So. I married my first boyfriend, second guy I was ever with. I left him this spring and I've started seeing my friends brother. The problem being that my friend is my kink friend and the one I normally ask all my confused vanilla questions to. Until I left my husband I'd never had an orgasm (all though I know how close I was a few times now and actually think if I had known more when we were early on our marriage might have gone a little differently) and had only ever been fucked missionary ... needless to say both those things have changed since. Her brother is into exhibitionism and voyeurism, so uh, it's been stressful trying to separate the relationship especially when I need help processing some of the things I try after. I totally trust my partner- to make sure I'm not hurt or disrespected in any situation he puts me in. But it's still... different. I like being dominated but Im also nervous about the situations I might be finding myself in, considering the situations I've been in so far. Also my partner isn't literary he's visual but I'm literary so I need an outlet haha. My husband used to have me write porn basically and for a while I was narrating things for the guy I was with first... but Uh... after like five months with my ... friend? I'm pretty sure it's not appropriate to keep sending him stuff so... hi guys! sorry for rambling. blame anxiety.

[Deleted Member]

Well done for being honest and open. That alone can be difficult. Was there a question in this post?

[Deleted Member]

How about telling him your literary works while you are playing with him, creating the scenario in his mind? I have found that it works well with some people and you can also touch or stroke the part currently being mentioned in the story to make him concentrate more on that, which should be visual enough i guess. 

[KaiRo-8442]

Honestly my big issue right now is discussing the sharing the caring. He's not bringing it up because he thinks I didn't enjoy the last attempt- my fault for panicking and not communicating clearly that my issue was him springing it on me, not anything that actually happened because the night was actually pretty good. But its also something he actually really enjoys too so its not exactly that I want a hard no, never again. I want a 'lets save that for special days and don't worry, I'm still there" convo. 

[Mi****]

Perhaps if hes not bringing up the subjects you want to discuss then you could try bringing them up yourself. Communication is a two way street.

[Deleted Member]

I agree with misstillysue, you should bring it up, sometimes when a misunderstanding like this happens, it results in a very negative impact on the persons thinking and it will result in him thinking that he cant affect you the way he did before, it may also lead to loss of interest in doing it again. 

I hope you clear up the misunderstanding as soon as possible, possibly even add in some hugs and kisses to reassure him that you are happy with him. 

Edited June 21, 2019 by Deleted Member