D/s question? Is it cheating ???

[Ridgebackmike]

I am new to the Dom lifestyle. I have been in a committed relationship with a very experienced sub for about two and a half years. We do not live this 24/7 because of family. We did not start out in our relationship doing this but through alot of talking our kink was getting really good. I interduced her to some stuff she didn't know I'd she would like and she did the same with me. Her idea was even a contract between us which was drafted by her. In the contract we had a section on "others".  The very first line of that said " The submissive may not seek any other master or love or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without masters permission" .  About a month ago I had found some pics and video she had sent to another dom out of state that she had just recently met on a site like this. We had talked about this and she told me originally she was asking advice on some things I was wanting to try. I asked that the cyber sex and pics stop. She agreed. Now to find out it hasn't. I know cyber is not a physical form of cheating but it sure feels like it. 

I guess my question is. Am I wrong for being so angry at this??  

[ey****]

I'm going to go with yes.

it's overstepped boundaries you had set - and while I can understand asking for advice from someone independent, I don't entirely understand why pics/vids were necessary

Obviously context is extremely important but it does sound like you've a right to be unhappy.

[Deleted Member]

Of course there is a physically difference between cybersex and a physical relationship, but the connection is still there. If someone says they hate you to your face, or texts it to you, they have still said it. It still hurts. The same applies here.

[Ridgebackmike]

Thank you for your input

[Ra****]

If you set a rule that she was not to seek anyone else if she wanted advise she should still go to you and ask you to speak with others doms or even subs about the subject. It's kind of cheating already. Maybe not physically but the emotional and sexual and mental part is there. I would take this pretty seriously if I was you.

[Deleted Member]

Given that you’re here asking the question, you already know the answer. Whether sexting is cheating is kind of irrelevant here. The fact that you asked her to stop, but she carried on is the important aspect. Good luck

[Ridgebackmike]

Thank you everyone for your input

[KCurious]

11 hours ago, Ridgebackmike said:

I am new to the Dom lifestyle. I have been in a committed relationship with a very experienced sub for about two and a half years. We do not live this 24/7 because of family. We did not start out in our relationship doing this but through alot of talking our kink was getting really good. I interduced her to some stuff she didn't know I'd she would like and she did the same with me. Her idea was even a contract between us which was drafted by her. In the contract we had a section on "others".  The very first line of that said " The submissive may not seek any other master or love or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without masters permission" .  About a month ago I had found some pics and video she had sent to another dom out of state that she had just recently met on a site like this. We had talked about this and she told me originally she was asking advice on some things I was wanting to try. I asked that the cyber sex and pics stop. She agreed. Now to find out it hasn't. I know cyber is not a physical form of cheating but it sure feels like it. 

I guess my question is. Am I wrong for being so angry at this??  

 

I apologise firstly if I have offended you in anyways. 

Have you ever asked her the actual reason as to why she is doing this before you go to or thinking straight point of “she’s cheated you etc “ ?  

Why would she go to another instead of you ... could it be because she is scared about something and don’t feel comfortable opening up to you , could be she doesn’t know how to open up to you because your important unlike “others”. 

I’m not taking any sides but the thing is human forget about all the good of that person because of one wrong and start to forget about the many good they have done for that person sincerely.

There is always a reason behind ones action even if to you it is wrong. It’s just it seems that somethings can be saved if one goes for the extra mile and find out the “toxic” and “cure “ . If even in the end there is no cure at least you have put all your effort and have done your best to save the relationship, no regrets later. 🙂

All the best in finding a solution to your problem. ☘️

[Deleted Member]

1. she's got bratty attitude and is looking for to be punished

2. your relationship start to wear out due to lack of interest

3. she was by nature an attention seeker and need more than one Dom

4. reassess your dynamic and alternate your contract to let her contact other Dom. If you are confident enough after all she is your sub and as long she is not doing any D/s play. Let her having some extra time sending pics, she will see that you are actually a strong Dom. 

 

[3S****]

I see betrayal as a relationship breaker myself, along with lying. Not saying it has to be for you but yes something like this would upset me a lot.