New to bdsm

[Deleted Member]

I want to try being a sub for my husband. (My idea) I know more about it than my husband does. But I don't  think he knows what being a true dominant  means or how to do. Hes doing this for me. How can I help him. Any advice would be great.

[3S****]

There's different ways of being dominant. I'd just talk to him about your fantasies and what you'd like him to do with you. One thing that should help is if you submit to him firstly, give him more confidence to take the dominant role (apologies if you already do this stuff).

Edited July 1, 2019 by 3SumQueen

[Deleted Member]

I agree with 3SumQueen but will also add this. If someone isnt dominant by their nature, then forcing or coercing them to do so Will. Not. Work. Be honest about what you want, ask him how he feels about it. But dont make him do something hes not willing to do

[Deleted Member]

He's  very dominant outside of the bedroom but inside the bedroom it's  usually just vanilla sex with light bondage  once a year but I have to beg to be tied up

[Deleted Member]

A lot of dominant people in normal social life are submissive in private and vice versa. Talk to him. Tell him what you crave AND ask what he'd like to do if anything was a choice

[Deleted Member]

Thanks for the input. I definitely  don't  want to push him into anything he's  not comfortable  with. We'll  start slow and ease into it. He says he's  comfortable  being a dom in the bedroom I'll  just do more research and talk about it more . Cheers

[Deleted Member]

You're very welcome. Always remember that communication is key. A safe word should be your first port of call and then rules. Think of some punishments and funishments. It's always about being fun and playing safe. Enjoy yourselves xx

[TaintedYouth]

Here's a funny one, but it worked well for me.  I incorporated housework into our play.  Like after we had the convo about it, I started by joking she wouldn't get anything until "x" was done.  Then it gradually shifted into more.... consequences.  It was a nice way to introduce the concept, without it being associated with the sex.  This way if hes not into it, or has some boundaries, they don't come up in a pressure situation in the bedroom.

[ey****]

I guess some points would be to spell out exactly what you may want from him so he knows where he might need to develop or what skills he may need to learn.

But, you can be subservient to anyone whether they're "true" Dominant or not.