I read your profile

[Deleted Member]

"No one reads profiles anyway." I do.

I looked at the pictures you took of

yourself, and I saw the labels you 

owned as your own. I read the words, 

and then I read the spaces in between.

What did you say? What did you 

not say? Did you take the time 

to represent yourself, or did you simply say,

"Ask me." Did you hand the baton over, 

give control to the sub from the very first

hello? Did you think of me, and what

I might be searching for? Did you gift me

all the things you know I need to know?

Did you tantalize me? Interest me? 

Tease me? Or did you think only of

yourself? Did you bash out a few words

on the keyboard, before going on the hunt?

You came to me because my profile drew

you, excited you. Made you want to know 

more. Make sure you return the favor.

[ge****]

Beautifully put and so very true and something often missed by many on sites like this

[Du****]

“Just seeing what’s out there” - oh, hun…

[QuietlyKinky]

It’s good to be an open book, but always remember a book still needs words!

[Pr****]

Icebreakers for me are always important. That first impression. For me I want to get to know something of the vanilla you and give you a chance to get to know the vanilla me before we get to why we are here. Why am I saying hello to you (or you’re saying hello to me).

So, yes I read profiles and I look at pictures and if I think we could have something I will send a first message that will be vanilla in nature a majority of the time.

Occasionally when you profile says “send me your filthiest thoughts in a message” I may very well do that. But it never ends well. So, you send vanilla instead and that doesn’t end well either.

But that is the nature of worlds like this and part of the connection is finding that person (or people) that you click with. The person that welcomes your approach.

[Deleted Member]

Well said, it’s amazing how many people put no effort into their profile. By far the worst profiles of all are those that just say “ask me”. I instantly think that any kind of relationship with the person would be exhausting, and I have absolutely no idea if we’re even compatible. It’s good to know people’s kinks, but for a relationship to work it’s also important to share your vanilla interests.

[Je****]

It's my absolute dream to meet someone in my inbox who has READ my profile AND has an informative and intriguing bio of their own. But sure, when do dreams come true?! ha

[Hal727]

57 minutes ago, FistingLTR said:

Well said, it’s amazing how many people put no effort into their profile. By far the worst profiles of all are those that just say “ask me”. I instantly think that any kind of relationship with the person would be exhausting, and I have absolutely no idea if we’re even compatible. It’s good to know people’s kinks, but for a relationship to work it’s also important to share your vanilla interests.

So true! “Ask me “is the biggest turn off I ever see on here. And as you said, exhausting! I will add very boring.

[QuietlyKinky]

1 minute ago, Hal727 said:

So true! “Ask me “is the biggest turn off I ever see on here. And as you said, exhausting! I will add very boring.

It screams lack of imagination, it also makes the icebreaker a minefield

[Deleted Member]

The problem with sites like these is that it seems that the proportion of 'real' people interested in genuine contact or building true friendships and relationships is considerably and significantly small in comparison to the proportion of say scammers (with alterior or different motives anyway), attention seekers (looking only to bolster their likeability rating) and the just curious (who are just passing through anyway) not to mention others I have missed. Its a giant haystack of 'chaff' where the genuine people are very much the minority needles in it!

[ge****]

4 minutes ago, Justme66 said:

The problem with sites like these is that it seems that the proportion of 'real' people interested in genuine contact or building true friendships and relationships is considerably and significantly small in comparison to the proportion of say scammers (with alterior or different motives anyway), attention seekers (looking only to bolster their likeability rating) and the just curious (who are just passing through anyway) not to mention others I have missed. Its a giant haystack of 'chaff' where the genuine people are very much the minority needles in it!

Whilst I agree to an extent in terms of being able to see the wood for the trees, I'm not sure those that are genuinely looking to interact with others etc are in a minority, they're just harder to see because of the "chaff" as you call it.
.
Either way it's another reason why having a well written and informative profile is important to help guide you to those people whose expectations and use of the site align with your own.

[Li****]

Lol yup I read your profile too. Ha ha but yes very true, not many read them.

[Deleted Member]

Imagine believing other people's actions and mere existence are supposed to entertain you.

[Ta****]

I love this, and nothing says “bare minimum” more than “ask me”.

[Deleted Member]

59 minutes ago, Darksoul_85 said:

Imagine believing other people's actions and mere existence are supposed to entertain you.

It's a poem. About my feelings. If someone wants to engage with me, I am explaining what I hope to see in their profile. Take your negativity elsewhere.

[Deleted Member]

1 hour ago, Char__ said:

It's a poem. About my feelings. If someone wants to engage with me, I am explaining what I hope to see in their profile. Take your negativity elsewhere.

It's a prompt. It's just in reverse. Like Tenet.

[Du****]

Minutes after I posted my last comment, I received an (unimaginative) pre-written icebreaker from an “ask me” profile. I just - I don’t know, I genuinely don’t know how to convey your sentiments more clearly than literally everything I’ve ever shared on this app.
Deep sigh.
Gentlemen, please, stop “throwing it out there”. It doesn’t work.

[QuietlyKinky]

2 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

Minutes after I posted my last comment, I received an (unimaginative) pre-written icebreaker from an “ask me” profile. I just - I don’t know, I genuinely don’t know how to convey your sentiments more clearly than literally everything I’ve ever shared on this app.
Deep sigh.
Gentlemen, please, stop “throwing it out there”. It doesn’t work.

As someone who isn’t exactly a natural at breaking the ice with new people, I understand it can be difficult, but I also understand it’s important to make an effort, it’s the same even on vanilla platforms

[Du****]

5 minutes ago, QuietlyKinky said:

As someone who isn’t exactly a natural at breaking the ice with new people, I understand it can be difficult, but I also understand it’s important to make an effort, it’s the same even on vanilla platforms

Absolutely, yes, I agree. And while I completely understand it can feel difficult to send that first message, it doesn’t need to be. It’s perfectly okay to show your personality; but it’s better if your personality isn’t “let me **** over your ****”.
😳 Or at least, not at first. Gain consent before moving into the ****ing over **** territory.

[QuietlyKinky]

8 minutes ago, DuchessFeuille said:

Absolutely, yes, I agree. And while I completely understand it can feel difficult to send that first message, it doesn’t need to be. It’s perfectly okay to show your personality; but it’s better if your personality isn’t “let me **** over your ****”.
😳 Or at least, not at first. Gain consent before moving into the ****ing over **** territory.

😂 so eloquently put!

[MisstressStorm]

I get the ‘personality trait’ of men sending pics of their disappointing genitalia whenever I post anything on a forum no matter what the topic is…. Worried about the Pavlov reaction ….. 🤦‍♀️⛈

[QuietlyKinky]

1 minute ago, MisstressStorm said:

I get the ‘personality trait’ of men sending pics of their disappointing genitalia whenever I post anything on a forum no matter what the topic is…. Worried about the Pavlov reaction ….. 🤦‍♀️⛈

That’s a habit I’ve never understood, it’s not exactly like penises are works of art

[MisstressStorm]

Some are more aesthetically pleasing than others. Most bring out the nurse in me - go see a medic about that twisted member. But some ( once I get to know the owner ) bring out the Tigeress/ primal …. Lick and bite 🖤⛈ 🐯 

[QuietlyKinky]

2 minutes ago, MisstressStorm said:

Some are more aesthetically pleasing than others. Most bring out the nurse in me - go see a medic about that twisted member. But some ( once I get to know the owner ) bring out the Tigeress/ primal …. Lick and bite 🖤⛈ 🐯 

That makes sense, I’m still not sure I would lead with it as an icebreaker though

[MisstressStorm]

For me ( Queen of aesthetic ). The best pic would show submission . A photo of a sub in a submissive position ( doesn’t have to be nude ), showing perfect posture and attention to detail. My favourite is the puppy bow 😍🖤⛈