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Unrealistic Expectations


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Posted

Hey all, I am fairly new to this site and so far, it has been, lets just say, interesting. 

I am very keen to explore my submissive side but when I look online, all submissive women seem to be tiny. 

Where can I  find pictures/videos of real, everyday women lol

As a middled aged women who has lived lol honestly, it is a little intimidating. 

I am NOT going to look as good as some do online. 

Am I overthinking and just not finding them?

Help anyone?

Posted

You know what? You be you and don't worry about anyone else........ This is much easier said than done I know but I see people of all ages, shapes and sizes in the local community either at munches and at the club. Everyone is there for the same reason and everyone has a great time (as far as I'm aware). I suspect there is an element of overthinking happening too - we all do that ;)

Posted
Totally overthinking it. Media pushes on us the perfect body. A smaller woman cannot take snacks like larger women. Larger women make bresst play nore fun, so don't worry and keep being you.
Posted
You’re not giving yourself enough credit. Plenty of men on this site like a woman like yourself. Keep looking, you’ll find “real” women here. You are quite attractive and sexy, so don’t worry about it. Not everyone here is a youngster, lol
Purple_Rabbit
Posted
Why look up others, who cares what others are doing regardless of age and size, you do what you need to do, I'm sure the people of this site like my self will appreciate whatever anybody puts up. for instance my kink is vile, yet I don't let it stop me, who cares as long as you feel comfy :)
Posted

I just want to watch some clips or well.... "normal" women. It's been difficult to find. 

 

Posted
Honestly, you'll come across a vast array of people once you get stuck in, and if you attend events,munches etc. It's for everyone. :) Be you and enjoy learning about yourself. X
Posted

I don't look up to them. Only one hopefully lol but it is hard not to compare. 

 

Posted
I think you need to remember that submission and play and what’s sexxy is in the mind mainly

You will find your right partner and you will absolutely love it when it happens
Posted
Forget about the word “normal.” Everyone is unique. And don’t compare yourself. Plenty of people will find you appealing, myself included :)
Posted
You shouldn't worry about how people look online as it shouldn't matter at all. I've never gone for looks as a Dom but more on experience and who they are as a person. I need to know we'll work nor just that you are X or Y.
Posted
You are a perfect woman. Your real and had realized it. The perfect size is only what your partner seeks.
Posted
Your photos are awesome. You look like the unrealistic expectation you describe...
Don't get your point...
Posted
2 minutes ago, Christian-2070 said:

Your photos are awesome. You look like the unrealistic expectation you describe...
Don't get your point...

I am referring to all the clips i have watched, they're all tiny, thats all. I want to see a real women thats all

 

Posted
dnt worry about what other subs look like or how old they are, when ever I take any pics I wear something I feel sexy in or what I like. Your showing yourself for you, not what someone expects. Be comfitable in your skin and show them all your beauty
Posted
You are fine. Don't pay attention to porn. Honestly based on your pictures you are slightly below average size-wise compared to the average kinky woman.

Nor would it be a problem if you were bigger. You can be comfortable with how you look, particularly in the kink community.

You're gonna have a great time. Just try to get out of your own head and meet some people.
Posted

I think it's a shame when we're suggesting that there is a link between body size and someone being 'real'. Like others have said, subs, just like all demographics come in different shapes and sizes but also, porn is made to meet demand nothing else. 

Posted
25 minutes ago, CopperKnob said:

I think it's a shame when we're suggesting that there is a link between body size and someone being 'real'. Like others have said, subs, just like all demographics come in different shapes and sizes but also, porn is made to meet demand nothing else. 

That is true. It’s all an illusion I suppose 

Posted

Thanks for your comments everyone. Think I need to go to a club and see for myself x

MistressNightshade
Posted

As somebody who's approaching their 60s with all the baggage that entails I find that as Domme of 39 years I've never had to be worried about being accepted so imo I would join Fetlife which is like a massive kinky FB (completely free) sort a profile out and you'll find loads of different people all shapes and sizes. PS most of the pics you see online are models from pornshoots not real fetishists at all!

Posted
1 hour ago, GalWhoWillTryNewKink said:

Thanks for your comments everyone. Think I need to go to a club and see for myself x

At (just about) any well run club you will discover every shape, size and age indulging their wildest desires free of *** of judgement. It’s all out there just waiting to be explored and discovered.

Posted
Don’t worry about looking at other submissives to compare. Look for people you will be a good match with or feel could be a good friend. Comparison is the enemy of happiness. You’re perfect as you are. 🥰
Samischaste
Posted
Just looked at your pics. You are way underestimating yourself. Don’t worry - be happy!
MasterDarcy1979
Posted

Oh. You're absolutely over thinking things.

If you want to find pictures or videos of "real" women it's really not difficult to find.

I do know what you mean, though. It does seem to be awfully black and white: it's either the supermodel or the BBW with nothing in between.

If you're asking whether or not there are Doms/Dommes who would collar a "real" woman. Yep. Of course they will.

Personally, I have no preference. Yes, there has to be a hint of mutual attraction, but weight or "real" doesn't make a difference, at least for me.

You do you.

Posted
46 minutes ago, MasterDarcy1979 said:

Oh. You're absolutely over thinking things.

If you want to find pictures or videos of "real" women it's really not difficult to find.

I do know what you mean, though. It does seem to be awfully black and white: it's either the supermodel or the BBW with nothing in between.

If you're asking whether or not there are Doms/Dommes who would collar a "real" woman. Yep. Of course they will.

Personally, I have no preference. Yes, there has to be a hint of mutual attraction, but weight or "real" doesn't make a difference, at least for me.

You do you.

Exactly

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