Kinky Kritical Thinking

[FETMOD-KF]

  5 minutes ago, devilsdreams said:

I can’t really comment to your comedy post because it’s “off topic”.

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if we have allowed the posts it's considered relevant to the discussion - however, it cannot stray too far.  

[de****]

  8 minutes ago, FETMOD-KF said:

if we have allowed the posts it's considered relevant to the discussion - however, it cannot stray too far.  

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Help me understand , what are the exact details of “too far”, this goes back to my original post of teaching ALL the details BEFORE a person makes a mistake. Like learning ALL the limits before a person enters a scene with another person. I genuinely want to know what is “too far” so that there is no confusion and no between one person vs another.

[FETMOD-KF]

  4 minutes ago, devilsdreams said:

Help me understand , what are the exact details of “too far”, this goes back to my original post of teaching ALL the details BEFORE a person makes a mistake. Like learning ALL the limits before a person enters a scene with another person. I genuinely want to know what is “too far” so that there is no confusion and no between one person vs another.

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some of this should be common sense really - but for the avoidance of doubt.

this thread (seems to be about) accepting and acting on criticism/feedback - therefore discussions around that are 'on topic'

Obviously on any thread there may be a comment that leads a little tangent - that's fine - particularly as a lot is relevant around a uniform discussion.

However if discussion remains about another topic - then anyone coming into the thread is getting a different discussion, so this hasn't worked - it then might be better to have another thread on that topic.   There is no solid metric for this, a lot is down to discretion.

The description for this forum is "This is a safe place to learn and explore about kink - and by 'safe' we mean strictly educational! We'll only accept SFW threads, which will be moderated." and this is something we have to mostly stick with. Obviously there is stuff like some of the games thread (mostly posted here to keep app-only users involved) - and this also means any threads outside of this are either not approved or moved to the web forum.  If too many comments stray outside of this then we either have to stop those, or move the thread.

Do some threads sometimes slip the net, absolutely.  Because we're human and fallible and sometimes that gets corrected later - us sticking with those rules, and the co-operation of users, is what helps keep the app in the store.

With this in mind - I hope this clears things up - we should now return this on topic, but if you need further clarification please reach out to our community manager, @purplepie

 

[Ve****]

Disagree. We do not all require criticism to learn. It is possible to say, “I prefer you donut this way”, or “It feels better when done like this”. How you say things matters as much as what’s being said. With no many attachment styles and preferences regarding communication, there is no one way to do it right.

[ey****]

the other thing with (any form of) criticism as a learning tool - it cannot be "this is bad" 

It has to work as a guidance of where the other person can improve and also, depending on context, making sure they have what they need to do so.

If, to keep it kink - if someone is caning and is making mishits or is too hard/soft then "your caning sucks!" doesn't help them learn.    I remember when I started 10 years ago I was caning my wife at a workshop event and there was a lady, a local Domme, who'd been helping with my posture and technique.

That works, it helps me learn. Her going "you suck, do better" wouldn't have helped.

And also in that context it was fine.   But, I guess from similar - there was someone on fetlife commenting about subs having a lack of marks and making snide "you weren't hitting hard enough" remarks - and that was.... that's the sort of thing someone might pass off as being 'criticism' or 'feedback' but it wasn't theirs to give. They were just being a dick.

How others play is not their concern, and, also, the couple in question do play hard - the sub just doesn't mark easily.   

It's quite interesting that since writing this - the OP has made a lot of snide marks on people's posts and blocked anyone who disagrees with him. So it sounds like a similar front.