Obedience

[DaDicktater]

Wondering if obedience for all subs is a learned trait or it comes naturally to them?

[Deleted Member]

I think it depends on the person. There are some subs who are naturally obedient.

 

I'm  obedient  to a certain point although I'm  new too . I'm  finding to start I just like bedroom play and being obedient  just in the bedroom for now.

 

[Wo****]

Both, I think.

I'm naturally submissive so obedience is pretty easy for me but doesn't necessarily mean I will be.

Learning obedience? Absolutely... I'm learning obedience right now in fact.

 

[ey****]

there's a degree to learning

I mean, first off - if it was natural - then subs would just do whatever anyone said/asked of them

while there's a lovely idea of "sub, are you owned?" , "no Sir/Miss", "OK, you're mine now..." like, the sub should get a say in this  

I think obedience is something that does have to be taught for two fold - one, is learning what their Dominant likes and how they like it - but two, building up the trust that while you are obedient and serving your Dominant that they'd never *** nor manipulate this position or their trust.  So, it's learning from within to trust.

[Deleted Member]

I would say that there's a degree of learning entwined within any dynamic. 

But with a natural submissive it's there But only for the right Dominant .

Now compliance this is a different beast altogether compliance requires training and within that comes a degree of behavioral modification this in its self is more difficult due the the constraints of social conditioning ie a new young s type is in general easier due to the conditioning relating to school,parents and so forth this is in no way a given I can only talk from experience. 

We have always had a certain degree of older s  types entering the lifestyle after a realisation that something was missing from there life and requiring that escspe and the freedom that comes with it. This journey can be hard we come back to social conditioning and learnt behaviour.  

So yes obedience is a natural trait but the Dominant better accept it's not a given you earn that and if you are not prepared to put in the work and commitment and be prepared to accept the responsibility that comes with this step away . 

Whether its obidence or compliance it has to be consented to and this requires communication and openness to a level most new people dont understand. So if your new educate your self, know yourself and above all show respect for peoples choices. 

MrC 

[Deleted Member]

Although very new to this I think it depends on the dynamics and relationship between the Dom and Sub. I am one of the very lucky ones who has found an awesome Dominant and have a very strong connection with so the submission and desire to please him was there. So even tho I have to learn his way, the submission has not had to be learnt with him. Before my Dom I had a few play only partners with whom the submission was not so easily there, especially when having bounderies pushed.. Hope that makes sense

[Deleted Member]

Speaking as a slave i think you learn it i would disobey at first but then the punishment was worse than normal so eventually I learned to do as i was told until i began to enjoy the punishment then i would do things wrong so i would be punished

[ey****]

this is often the problem

playing-to-be-punished works so long as it's fun for both people

but if one person is playing up then a punishment they enjoy is not a punishment

so, it then needs to have other/creative ideas of punishment.