Sensation play.

[Dukkha]

My partner and I are getting in bondage. She is very new to the scene. I Have some experience but in different avenues then she is interested in.  She really enjoys being tied up, but being whipped or anything that causes *** is causes her to have anxiety. And she isn’t really enjoying the sensation.  

I have tied her up and used soft cloth to rub on her which turns her on a lot.  I’m looking for other non-*** sensations, toy, objects etc.  any advice would be great. 

 

[ey****]

sensation play can be a lot of fun and there's almost unlimited possibilities.   some suggestions

- anything soft like feathers

- bristles on a brush (hard or soft)

- pinwheels

- violet wand (a bit more expensive but fun, you don't need them on a high setting)

- bear claws - the type you use for pulled pork

- a fork

- Christmas tinsel 

[Kay-]

Bag of frozen peas or ice cubes, , hot candle wax (specific for contact usage) ... There is nothing better then being blindfolded, tied up and having no idea what sensation is going to be next or where and using a mixture of all different objects.

[Deleted Member]

I find inexperienced subs need to find their motivation and passion-pleasure setpoint. Some people like green, yellow, red safe words which are great for partners who know each other. When I am getting to know a new partner's limits I like the 5 finger system. 1 finger for a lot more, 2 fingers for more, 3 fingers  for just right, 4 fingers  for too much, and 5 fingers  for stop. Ideally you want to find the sweet spot of mostly 3 with an occasional 4. For the sub, it is like a hot shower, you start warm and slowly crank the heat up until it is bordering between *** and pleasure then you stay at that point for a while till your core body temperature rises and it feels great to cool off. That is like going through a sensual beating, into subspace, and then coming down under the care of a loving partner. the 5 finger system is distracting for the bottom but it is a learning tool only necessary once or twice till the sweet spot is established. Then the green yellow red system or a safe word can be used. Some people are sensitive to different implements. Some people hate canes but love floggers. Some hate stingy floggers but love thuddy floggers. Some like belts and switches but don't like floggers. Sometimes music gets them where they need to go. One other thing to suggest, I made a flogger out of felt/fleece for a softer beating that allows me to really hit hard and take out a lot of aggression. It is loved by a less masochistic sub. Unless as discipline, a beating should be like a massage. You only go as deep, hard, or intense as it is beneficial to go. It also takes time, patients, and sometimes a lot of experimentation to develope the trust required to get to a deep and meaningful connection of vulnerability and power. I apologise for such a long winded reply but it sounds like she doesn't know how to enjoy it and she is filled with *** and negative associations about the experience. Leave her unbound. Start light and let her ask for more till it is like a hot shower. Keep her there until she says she has had enough and slowly taper off. Most women fall in love with this experience. Also, please reply back and let us know how it turns out. 

[ey****]

38 minutes ago, MCaber said:

I find inexperienced subs need to find their motivation and passion-pleasure setpoint......

or you can always just take someone's answer when they say they don't want to do something and do something you'll both enjoy rather than try to coerce them into something they're already unhappy about?

[LazyPirate]

If you are looking for sensory deprivation bondage mitts, a VR headset and noise cancelling headphones was a simplistic idea I came up with

[Wo****]

On 8/16/2019 at 4:43 AM, LazyPirate said:

If you are looking for sensory deprivation bondage mitts, a VR headset and noise cancelling headphones was a simplistic idea I came up with

I can vouch for this..

Its a surreal experience.

Trust is vital here because the experience I had was pretty close to total lack of sound and no vision. All you can do is feel... and wait..

Its absolutely glorious to experience, your whole focus is on what sensations you feel.

[emlet]

try  a pixey sex wand from the pantie purse, they are a powerful wand that goes from a low setting to high, also glass dildos are great to as they can be heated up or cooled down (temperature play)