Dealing with bad interactions

[cr****]

Hit or miss is a good way to put it but vibes are and will always be the way to go!!

[br****]

Hi all! Thanks for all the answers! I feel less alone now. Yesterday I was really discouraged after a week of unsolicited dick pics on the first message, people trying to make me engage in sexual conversations after only a "how are you", people answering with super short answers getting ***ed when I didn't want to carry the whole conversation anymore and things like that. It's always like this more or less, but as I said last week was especially bad. I'm not for a long time in this app and suddenly I felt like in the bad FetLife times again 😅
Reading about your bad and good experiences made me feel understood, seen and made me think about the good experiences in other apps in the past, so thanks for stopping by to leave a message.
Sorry for all your negatives experiences, I feel you 🖤
For the good ones, congrats!
I'll keep reading all of you ☺️

[DarkArts1066]

brattykitten_
Firstly, I am genuinely sorry that you’ve been having poor experiences of late.

One thing that I have learned- over my years of online site use, is that you have to develop a thick skin to deal with the idiots and fakers sometimes. I used to get quite angry when I got caught out by someone claiming to be something they were not - or just being plain rude, disrespectful and offensive.

These days, I tend to feel sorry for them - more than anything else …
Once I’ve reported and blocked them !

These people exist in real life, as well as online sadly, and with time and experience, one does learn to filter most of them out.

Be firm.
Don’t engage with anyone who sends you inappropriate messages. Report and then block them - and move on.
Perhaps consider revising your profile, limiting access to the majority of your pictures, and include wording that states that you will report and block anyone who breaks your own (and this sites’) rules.
- If you haven’t already done this.

I hope your experiences improve. There ARE decent people on this site.

Good luck.

DarkArts.

[yo****]

Hi! Just read your item here, as well as your profile comment. I share your concerns, but I can offer some constructive advice, which if taken, might improve your response quality. Here’s the thing: it’s crucial, as a Domme to not cross the line from being capable, focussed, compassionate, understanding, etc... to... just being an impatient nasty person. I’m certainly not suggesting you are anything like that , but my first read of your profile statement screams “avoid & move on” to me. So, anyone who doesn’t avoid you, is probably not very sincere. Just an observation; no offence intended 🤗

[gi****]

5 hours ago, brattykitten_ said:

Hi all! Thanks for all the answers! I feel less alone now. Yesterday I was really discouraged after a week of unsolicited dick pics on the first message, people trying to make me engage in sexual conversations after only a "how are you", people answering with super short answers getting ***ed when I didn't want to carry the whole conversation anymore and things like that. It's always like this more or less, but as I said last week was especially bad. I'm not for a long time in this app and suddenly I felt like in the bad FetLife times again 😅
Reading about your bad and good experiences made me feel understood, seen and made me think about the good experiences in other apps in the past, so thanks for stopping by to leave a message.
Sorry for all your negatives experiences, I feel you 🖤
For the good ones, congrats!
I'll keep reading all of you ☺️

I’m so glad you’ve found community in all of the responses.  As with the rest of life, I believe healthy boundaries are needed here.  No one deserves to be treated badly here (well, I guess no one deserves to be treated badly in nonconsensual ways).  Feeling seen, heard, and understood are vital to mental health.  I’m glad this community can contribute to it.  I know it doesn’t make it easier, necessarily, dealing with the jerks.  But support, in all of its forms does help.  Thank you for sharing and reaching out to the community.

[gi****]

32 minutes ago, yourman57 said:

Hi! Just read your item here, as well as your profile comment. I share your concerns, but I can offer some constructive advice, which if taken, might improve your response quality. Here’s the thing: it’s crucial, as a Domme to not cross the line from being capable, focussed, compassionate, understanding, etc... to... just being an impatient nasty person. I’m certainly not suggesting you are anything like that , but my first read of your profile statement screams “avoid & move on” to me. So, anyone who doesn’t avoid you, is probably not very sincere. Just an observation; no offence intended 🤗

Hi, so I want to begin again by acknowledging my newness to this online app kind of stuff.  And, when I read @brattykitten_‘s profile, I found it to be straightforward and that it stated healthy boundaries.  It helped me understand what she was seeking beyond the descriptors we are allowed for the profile.  It gave me insight into her wants and needs from a partner.  Just my two cents.

[br****]

3 hours ago, yourman57 said:

Hi! Just read your item here, as well as your profile comment. I share your concerns, but I can offer some constructive advice, which if taken, might improve your response quality. Here’s the thing: it’s crucial, as a Domme to not cross the line from being capable, focussed, compassionate, understanding, etc... to... just being an impatient nasty person. I’m certainly not suggesting you are anything like that , but my first read of your profile statement screams “avoid & move on” to me. So, anyone who doesn’t avoid you, is probably not very sincere. Just an observation; no offence intended 🤗

Your observation is rude even if it's just an observation and no offence intended. I'm new to this app, not in BDSM, I am always clear and settled boundaries like that and found amazing partners. Are there people in this world that understand my point and respect it, so please don't talk for every Dom in the world. As I said, I had good experiences just not lately and I felt sad about the situation last week. I made two clear questions that the community nicely answered, I didn't ask opinions on my profile. So if for you setting a boundary firmly is an "avoid and move on", my profile is working well. Honestly I don't get the tone of your message in this context, but I hope whatever that made you come here to spit that, gets better and I'm totally honest about it.

[br****]

grout: I can't quote you, I don't know why l, but,
This. All of this is what is meant on my profile. The fact is that since I changed it, that bad interactions went down and I'm having a pair of super nice conversations.
So I'm not changing anything about it.
Thanks :)

[gi****]

I figured it out. my screenname is giraut (not grout). lol, that's why you probably couldn't quote me.

[Bo****]

Bratty Kitten, I see your point! When someone makes an assumption that is clearly not listed is being more preadadory than seeking an equal partner even in a sub role unless otherwise specified you should be treated with respect! Just my 2 cents! But as a guy, they SUCK, and make it impossible for a decent guy to simply meet someone and begin a journey. We have a full interview and it sucks! Be respectful and don’t ruin a great thing here

[br****]

7 hours ago, giraut said:

I figured it out. my screenname is giraut (not grout). lol, that's why you probably couldn't quote me.

Hahahaha damn autocorrect. Sorry

[br****]

3 hours ago, BostonStreetBilly said:

Bratty Kitten, I see your point! When someone makes an assumption that is clearly not listed is being more preadadory than seeking an equal partner even in a sub role unless otherwise specified you should be treated with respect! Just my 2 cents! But as a guy, they SUCK, and make it impossible for a decent guy to simply meet someone and begin a journey. We have a full interview and it sucks! Be respectful and don’t ruin a great thing here

Right! They make everyone's journey more difficult.

[Deleted Member]

I found my kitten on here. We still keep up on the app, and fetlife, mostly to make friends, and get ideas. But, sometimes she’s sassy, so I choose a group of pics, and make her post them.

[Deleted Member]

I'd like to say I feel your *** but I'm in a league all of its own 3 years and counting daily daily interactions with fake profiles fake calls I'm talking evil fucking people on a grand scale that I have never seen before People from the states people from Canada people from Nigeria Ghana Philippines All pretending to be someone other than themselves all pretending to and then there's just the straight evil fucking ones Whose sole purpose is to either steal from you or just shit on your well-being mentally I'm talking Pretending to Correspond with you arrange dates and then at the very last minute just ripped the rug out from underneath you and shit on you and it's like what the fuck And each time a little piece of your fucking mental health just goes out to window My hope happiness desires is a untrusting overthinking bitter fucking cunt Of a man And then the same idiots that do this to you have the audacity to say calm down sir or geez you're angry and You don't deserve anyone and that shit just drives you further up to fucking wall. I have literally had these same fucking people catfish me on a committing *** Only so they can continue their 10 to 40 fucking calls or interactions a day of non-stop hi hello how are you where do you work what do you do doesn't that blah blah blah and it's like are you fucked You know I don't know what the fuck I did to deserve this shit but oh my sweet Jesus fuck So that's just a taste of what my day looks like for the last 3 fucking years so..... Hope you're doing better

[Deleted Member]

LOLI don't know about you but I feel better but seriously is it just me or does anybody notice that I like it feels like apps are being filled with these people almost as if they are hired by these apps to populate servers cause I run into the same people I can I have some shorthand with some of these people their digital identity or their digital For lack of a better word there Accent I can tell who's Nigerian I can tell who's filipi can tell who's American or white educated not educated but it just seems like I keep running into the same people all across these dating apps are fetish apps or whatever and it boggles my mind but it just seems like It's either one hell of a criminal network or it's an actual business or third party company being hired by these apps like fett and tinder and whoever

[Deleted Member]

Ive been struggling to find someone too. Lots of ***rs, nobody that actually cares.

[Ve****]

I’ve only been on this site for a few months and I have found some of the most wonderful men I’ve interacted with in ages. Yes, there are the others, but stay focused on the prize. Not only have I have found those that are quality, but extraordinarily enjoyable to be around. My trick is to be gently upfront and honest and I unashamedly delete contacts with those that don’t interest me. Dealing with the sensation of wanting pics is fine by ignoring, deleting and blocking if necessary. I don’t want to waste the time of others, either. Everybody wants photos and cyber fun. I say NO. It’s okay to know what you want, even if it isn’t what others want.