Who believes this is a hookup site?

[yu****]

Any Chat sites is a hook up sites...to me. We never chat or talk to anyone so much in our life...than to the people that are on the sites. You just realized it. But now you do. I mean, you practically rewrite the entire history of yourself one DNA n Chromosome at a time to create that perfect you just to impress or chat/hook up with this person or these people..who are now, your Online friends . Betcha, you told em shit that you'd never tell or shared with your Real friends too, hah? Don't lie. Hehehe

[Ne****]

1 hour ago, yumbuns4u said:

Any Chat sites is a hook up sites...to me. We never chat or talk to anyone so much in our life...than to the people that are on the sites. You just realized it. But now you do. I mean, you practically rewrite the entire history of yourself one DNA n Chromosome at a time to create that perfect you just to impress or chat/hook up with this person or these people..who are now, your Online friends . Betcha, you told em shit that you'd never tell or shared with your Real friends too, hah? Don't lie. Hehehe

If you’re addressing Me: I haven’t any problem discussing RESPECTFULLY any subject with any one whom I feel is being respectful toward me + genuine + non-nefarious and so forth. Makes little difference to me if a co-worker, family member, close IRL friend, or new acquaintance online IF they ask me something in earnest. Friends are friends and I don’t segregate in my mind. Also, I wouldn’t consider folks my *friends* if I didn’t or couldn’t tell them things about my life, that seems fake to me.

[li****]

Fet feels like Kinky FB to me lmao
Honestly if I'm going to look for a Hookup, there's plenty of other apps that are more intune for hooking up (grinder, just to name one).
I have seen the few on here just looking to hookup, and I don't care if that's what they want. But I'm not going to deal with someone bashing me for not wanting a quick f**k.
I think if someone asks me to, I'd tell them no thx, and if they're respectful we can keep talking. But don't go bashing someone for their own preferences that don't align with your own.

[Pi****]

My understanding is that this is a dating app. When seeking a potential date, you engage in conversation prior to agreeing to meet. I understand this is a BDSM dating app, that doesn't make the process any different. Exchanging a few words then wanting to meet doesn't work for me. Establishing communication and more than lust is needed before I will agree to meet someone, especially in these days. Vetting is a necessary process for any type of relationship. Too many people get hurt physically and emotionally by fly by night encounters. Get to know someone first.

[adrenalina75]

1 hour ago, Pink-Lady- said:

My understanding is that this is a dating app. When seeking a potential date, you engage in conversation prior to agreeing to meet. I understand this is a BDSM dating app, that doesn't make the process any different. Exchanging a few words then wanting to meet doesn't work for me. Establishing communication and more than lust is needed before I will agree to meet someone, especially in these days. Vetting is a necessary process for any type of relationship. Too many people get hurt physically and emotionally by fly by night encounters. Get to know someone first.

Well said Pink Lady

[Br****]

That is one of the reasons i got off a lot of other sites and came to Fet is im tired of hookups where they get their pleasure but i dont because i dont know him. I cant tell a stranger what i enjoy done to me and risk getting hurt

[ce****]

I've only been on a week and it's all let me see your pics and I can f**k you real good. Jesus, I might want to get to know you. I was hoping this wasn't going to be like this......

[Deleted Member]

It is a hook-up site essentially, doesn’t give people the right to demand things from people who you haven’t even built a rapport with & ain’t interested. Decorum, patience & respect goes such a long way. God knows why it’s so underrated in this day & age

[Pl****]

Id like it to be lol if I could find cute kinky women to explore with that would be f**kin awesome

[Zi****]

Im right in there with the last dude. If i wanted to have to cort a woman i would be on match, cupid, tinder or something like that. Believe that most on here are looking for straight up what there looking for.

[yo****]

So far, it's I want a long term relationship.. starting to think the golden girls are running this place... people straight up ignore ya... wow

[Ne****]

7 hours ago, ZipperDown247 said:

Im right in there with the last dude. If i wanted to have to cort a woman i would be on match, cupid, tinder or something like that. Believe that most on here are looking for straight up what there looking for.

You don’t *have to* court anyone if you don’t want to. Nothing wrong with anyone wanting relationships, or getting to know someone before getting into heavy play or sex etcetera. This is not Nor are Women on the whole as a group/species a dialup on demand service for YOU. If that’s what you want, they can be found but that isn’t here. Your comment carries an air of entitlement as well as errant thinking. 🤷🏻‍♂️

[Ne****]

1 hour ago, york200986 said:

So far, it's I want a long term relationship.. starting to think the golden girls are running this place... people straight up ignore ya... wow

No one owes you reply, messages, explanation, or interaction simply because you send a message.. or want it… or reach out… or comment.. or compliment……..

[Fi****]

To each their own. We all have different motivations for being here. And, due to dating sites charging per message to talk to a bot, a lot of individuals are not getting their needs met. Maybe help them find a better place to help scratch their itch.

[Ne****]

12 hours ago, Spunnalingus said:

To each their own. We all have different motivations for being here. And, due to dating sites charging per message to talk to a bot, a lot of individuals are not getting their needs met. Maybe help them find a better place to help scratch their itch.

Whom are you suggesting should help/direct folks get their itches scratched? Of course any such suggestion would need to consider the actual itch in question, but certainly You aren’t saying OP nor this particular site nor any individual person or Woman should acquiesce and accommodate said itches simply because there’s a “need”… and surely not saying that since people have itches and want them scratched, they are entitled to act however they want toward others due to itches….?

[Fi****]

There is a natural urge to mate within all mammals. And much like starvation during childhood leads to adulthood obesity, there is a parallel consequence for assuming we ***s do not have a right to our natural callings for mating. And every sentient being on this planet walks a different in life - even conjoined twins are exposed to different stimulae throughout their life. Who are you to assume your path is the path that everyone should be on. So, let's solute the simple solution of just simply saying to the individual, "No thanks, and here is an app that might be more appropriate. " I, for one, am trying to network with like-minded people so that i can have friends without feeling alone or like an alien on my home planet. Those who don't understand my motivation might see me as trying to hook up because i am trying to meet new people. Does this give them the right and proper angle to start lashing out at me for not using the site as they thought it was supposed to be?

[Ne****]

5 hours ago, Spunnalingus said:

There is a natural urge to mate within all mammals. And much like starvation during childhood leads to adulthood obesity, there is a parallel consequence for assuming we ***s do not have a right to our natural callings for mating. And every sentient being on this planet walks a different in life - even conjoined twins are exposed to different stimulae throughout their life. Who are you to assume your path is the path that everyone should be on. So, let's solute the simple solution of just simply saying to the individual, "No thanks, and here is an app that might be more appropriate. " I, for one, am trying to network with like-minded people so that i can have friends without feeling alone or like an alien on my home planet. Those who don't understand my motivation might see me as trying to hook up because i am trying to meet new people. Does this give them the right and proper angle to start lashing out at me for not using the site as they thought it was supposed to be?

Again, you’ve evaded the actual issues brought by OP. 🤷🏻‍♂️
1) People’s nature toward desiring sex wasn’t in question nor argued
2) Hasn’t been stated that anyone shouldn’t be seeking sex here or anywhere
3) Wasn’t stated that anyone seeking sex shouldn’t be on fet nor suggested that fet isn’t the place for seeking sex
4) Major argument: people assuming everyone here is sexually available, everyone here should be for and respond to sexually explicit messages / be shamed for not wanting such, and, be ok with harassment…
5) OP asked a genuine question (without a modicum of sarcasm)
6) OP doesn’t mind what people use the site for, for whatever they seek…
7) Manners and basic respect are demanded regardless of what any individual is seeking and THAT is another major issue with individuals •demanding• others acquiescence to Their needs, disregarding others’ - cases in mind: Men being upset that Women on a ‘site like this’ aren’t just acting as the dial-up sex dispenser service they want…

[Fi****]

1 hour ago, NexumSange said:

Again, you’ve evaded the actual issues brought by OP. 🤷🏻‍♂️
1) People’s nature toward desiring sex wasn’t in question nor argued
2) Hasn’t been stated that anyone shouldn’t be seeking sex here or anywhere
3) Wasn’t stated that anyone seeking sex shouldn’t be on fet nor suggested that fet isn’t the place for seeking sex
4) Major argument: people assuming everyone here is sexually available, everyone here should be for and respond to sexually explicit messages / be shamed for not wanting such, and, be ok with harassment…
5) OP asked a genuine question (without a modicum of sarcasm)
6) OP doesn’t mind what people use the site for, for whatever they seek…
7) Manners and basic respect are demanded regardless of what any individual is seeking and THAT is another major issue with individuals •demanding• others acquiescence to Their needs, disregarding others’ - cases in mind: Men being upset that Women on a ‘site like this’ aren’t just acting as the dial-up sex dispenser service they want…

You know what. I did not come here to run around in circles about nonsense. So let's all take a deep breath and have a moment to grow up and calm down. First of all, the mammalian instinct for sex is always relevant - please refer to high school biology. Now, this site may not state that this is intended for seeking sex. Conversely, where does it state that it is not. Next, simply asking should be responded with an appropriate answer. If they continue, then it might be harassment, depending on how the question was answered. I was not being sarcastic to them - it is very pretentious to apply any sort of tone to text. #6 How do you know? Please provide evidence. The last part seems to be an extreme hyperemotional reaction. Please reread what i posted earlier, but do so with patience, understanding, and stoicism.

[ed****]

1 hour ago, NexumSange said:

Again, you’ve evaded the actual issues brought by OP. 🤷🏻‍♂️
1) People’s nature toward desiring sex wasn’t in question nor argued
2) Hasn’t been stated that anyone shouldn’t be seeking sex here or anywhere
3) Wasn’t stated that anyone seeking sex shouldn’t be on fet nor suggested that fet isn’t the place for seeking sex
4) Major argument: people assuming everyone here is sexually available, everyone here should be for and respond to sexually explicit messages / be shamed for not wanting such, and, be ok with harassment…
5) OP asked a genuine question (without a modicum of sarcasm)
6) OP doesn’t mind what people use the site for, for whatever they seek…
7) Manners and basic respect are demanded regardless of what any individual is seeking and THAT is another major issue with individuals •demanding• others acquiescence to Their needs, disregarding others’ - cases in mind: Men being upset that Women on a ‘site like this’ aren’t just acting as the dial-up sex dispenser service they want…

This reply is awesome.

[ba****]

OP I’m seriously seeing that as well. I love kink, but also believe that I can be satisfied in that monogamously. I have been criticized also for looking for love on a “hookup” site. I think it is what you make of it, and I don’t entertain guys who aren’t looking for the same thing I am. Although, I’ll just tell ya…those are rare.

[Fi****]

12 hours ago, edinburgh402908 said:

This reply is awesome.

I hope you dont mind, but aren't you attempting to exacerbate the situation? And i thought i explained things well enough to show the statement was just exaggerated emotional slap fest. Or was the accuracy the problem? Honestly asking.

[Fi****]

11 hours ago, babygirlnc78 said:

OP I’m seriously seeing that as well. I love kink, but also believe that I can be satisfied in that monogamously. I have been criticized also for looking for love on a “hookup” site. I think it is what you make of it, and I don’t entertain guys who aren’t looking for the same thing I am. Although, I’ll just tell ya…those are rare.

You're telling the truth on the rarity. I even had to drop my specific standards. Now i am just looking for some that can hold a conversation and pray we dont get bored, lol.

[ed****]

26 minutes ago, Spunnalingus said:

I hope you dont mind, but aren't you attempting to exacerbate the situation? And i thought i explained things well enough to show the statement was just exaggerated emotional slap fest. Or was the accuracy the problem? Honestly asking.

My comment was in no way meant to offend or hurt or belittle you. My initial thoughts might well have been closer to your line of arguement at one time. What I found so impressive about NexumSange's position is that (as an attorney myself) I don't often seen a persuasive argument or explanation of a point that's on here but structured like a particularly concise and brutal prenuptial agreement. The concision reminded me of some dude with a nail gun hammering down lines.

[ed****]

I feel that it's not a vexatious and pedantic argument to say that none of this is about the very proven mammalian urge to f**k and be f**ked (and in the best way). It's just that we're talking about attitudes and real behaviour with real consent and real personal wellness on the line here. That feels different entirely to what you were focusing your position on.

[kh****]

I came here to learn and meet people not hook up per se' not against it but that wasn't the purpose of me joining