Who believes this is a hookup site?

[Je****]

Probably gonna get bashed here but it's how I feel.... 

 

 

Is this a hook up site? 

No. 

 

This is a bdsm, kink and fetish COMMUNITY. 

It also serves as a dating site. But dating does not equal hook up. 

People who join here with the sole expectation of fetish = sex hookups, are what is wrong with the site. And the scammers. 

 

The amount of times I've said No to someone and get "why are you even on a sex site if you're not going to put out".

 

I am here for the learning, and community. If a date comes along then so be it. I know someone who genuinely wants to know me and or date me, will not try to throw sleazy disgusting smut at me in first messages that they've also copied and pasted to 17 others. 

 

People who join here with a severely misunderstood impression wanting to hook up, honestly repulse me. I can't stand it. 

Just because someone has a fetish or kink doesn't mean they are game for everything and anyone or need to put out. 

 

It's a community and should remain inspiring and resourceful and welcoming. Which community kinksters maintain... hook up sleazes do not.

 

On that note. Not everyone or everything on this site is D/s related either. 

The amount of will you domme me, will you be my little girl sub. I want a sub I want a dom.... no. 

Some people are here for the community and fetishes. That doesn't always mean every Tom, dick and Harry has a bdsm dynamic role. 

Nor does it mean that being on here you're automatically going to entertain someone who demands you obey them on first messages. Especially when you're not even into D/s dynamics.  

 

People can do with reading. Profile and forums. 

If people wanna hook up and sleep about , great, try Fuck.com.

*** site to here. But please don't ruin the community here if you don't know what ANY of it actually is. 

As someone else said... education is best. But you can't educate those who are tunnel vision driven for sex and can't read what someone is even about. 

 

Rant over. 

[ge****]

1 hour ago, Jeneral_Whore said:

Probably gonna get bashed here but it's how I feel.... 

 

 

Is this a hook up site? 

No. 

 

This is a bdsm, kink and fetish COMMUNITY. 

It also serves as a dating site. But dating does not equal hook up. 

People who join here with the sole expectation of fetish = sex hookups, are what is wrong with the site. And the scammers. 

 

The amount of times I've said No to someone and get "why are you even on a sex site if you're not going to put out".

 

I am here for the learning, and community. If a date comes along then so be it. I know someone who genuinely wants to know me and or date me, will not try to throw sleazy disgusting smut at me in first messages that they've also copied and pasted to 17 others. 

 

People who join here with a severely misunderstood impression wanting to hook up, honestly repulse me. I can't stand it. 

Just because someone has a fetish or kink doesn't mean they are game for everything and anyone or need to put out. 

 

It's a community and should remain inspiring and resourceful and welcoming. Which community kinksters maintain... hook up sleazes do not.

 

On that note. Not everyone or everything on this site is D/s related either. 

The amount of will you domme me, will you be my little girl sub. I want a sub I want a dom.... no. 

Some people are here for the community and fetishes. That doesn't always mean every Tom, dick and Harry has a bdsm dynamic role. 

Nor does it mean that being on here you're automatically going to entertain someone who demands you obey them on first messages. Especially when you're not even into D/s dynamics.  

 

People can do with reading. Profile and forums. 

If people wanna hook up and sleep about , great, try Fuck.com.

*** site to here. But please don't ruin the community here if you don't know what ANY of it actually is. 

As someone else said... education is best. But you can't educate those who are tunnel vision driven for sex and can't read what someone is even about. 

 

Rant over. 

Whilst I agree with pretty much all you've said I disagree with your absolute put down of those that are here for hook ups - they have as much right to approach and use the site for that as you do to approach it for community and learning.
.
Just because someone's approach and view of the site differs from your own, doesn't, in itself make them wrong to do so - though their approach and way they may conduct themselves may do.
.
The key is in respecting and accepting that everyone will have their different reasons for being here and how they, as individuals, choose to use the site - and that works both ways.
.
Now I know there are those looking for a hook up who do get abusive, or have misguided expectations, or a sense of entitlement, and who do not respect or accept that others may have different approaches but it's not that they are looking for a hook up that is the issue, but their approach.

[Ne****]

8 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Whilst I agree with pretty much all you've said I disagree with your absolute put down of those that are here for hook ups - they have as much right to approach and use the site for that as you do to approach it for community and learning.
.
Just because someone's approach and view of the site differs from your own, doesn't, in itself make them wrong to do so - though their approach and way they may conduct themselves may do.
.
The key is in respecting and accepting that everyone will have their different reasons for being here and how they, as individuals, choose to use the site - and that works both ways.
.
Now I know there are those looking for a hook up who do get abusive, or have misguided expectations, or a sense of entitlement, and who do not respect or accept that others may have different approaches but it's not that they are looking for a hook up that is the issue, but their approach.

I didn’t take @Jeneral_Whore comments as bashing those who want sex / utilise this sight for such. Some of their comments support what I myself am most against: ridiculous notions in initial messages- something that occurs no matter where I find myself on the Internet. Even if I myself may want a hookup, I require respectful communication and prefer at least some conversational exchange (you know, to see if I even want to get down with you!)

A Note: I have had at least one [😳🤔🙂] person contact me for an immediate hookup yet they managed to be super polite, and, took me declining their offer very well. No insults. No berating me for anything. No telling me I’m in the wrong place.

All of that is an aside to the fact that seemingly so many people here misunderstand, have misunderstood, do not care to genuinely explore and educate themselves TO understand what kink and fetish are, and moreover, what this site in particular encompasses.

I started this thread to make sure I wasn’t somehow misunderstanding the objective(s) of this app.

[Je****]

2 hours ago, gemini_man said:

Whilst I agree with pretty much all you've said I disagree with your absolute put down of those that are here for hook ups - they have as much right to approach and use the site for that as you do to approach it for community and learning.
.
Just because someone's approach and view of the site differs from your own, doesn't, in itself make them wrong to do so - though their approach and way they may conduct themselves may do.
.
The key is in respecting and accepting that everyone will have their different reasons for being here and how they, as individuals, choose to use the site - and that works both ways.
.
Now I know there are those looking for a hook up who do get abusive, or have misguided expectations, or a sense of entitlement, and who do not respect or accept that others may have different approaches but it's not that they are looking for a hook up that is the issue, but their approach.

Don't get me wrong I am not putting them down entirely. I am saying for *me*, I can't stand it. 

Any approach I have had from someone seeking a hook up has been 100% negative. When saying no, or overall message stating said hook up has been disgusting. 

It's more the misconception on what this site is. The fact people who seem to assume kink equals hook up, entitles them to the behaviour they have and put me and others down when told No. The "why be here if you won't open your legs for me" absolutely repulses me. Sadly. 

However anyone who's here for the community... as in learning and exploring and dating have been exceptionally pleasant and respectful. They bring something. They speak with kindness respect and compassion. 

I understand I am close to generalising there. But honestly I cannot say I've seen one positive encounter across this site, in dms forums or newsfeed and chat, that has been positive at all. (From hook up seekers,  that I can recall).

I speak solely for myself and how I feel on it. But I recognise it happens everywhere. 

And 100% it is down to the behaviour of said individuals.  But to compare, thus far from what I've seen, read and heard... all the negative crude comments detrimental from this site, has been from those assuming hook ups here. Treat women and so on like meat or objects and feel entitled to get sex simply due to the name of this site. 

 

Everyone ofc has a right to be here. But I do feel it's best they actually know where here is. What it is. If they learn this, knowledge being power, can help their mindset, their learning and their approach and the site will improve. 

Too many have left due to people,  men and women, seeking hook ups and the traits that come with it. 

I choose my friend's and company, so each to their own. I am just strongly opinionated on it I guess from the 3.5yr of experience so far. 

Don't meaning any one in particular or hate against any crowd at all. Just my own view which isn't pleasant I suppose.  

And granted, not all seeking straight up hook ups are disrespectful.  Sadly just those I've encountered. But I know genuine ones exist. 

Edited November 8, 2023 by Jeneral_Whore

[Deleted Member]

No, while people do use the site as a strictly hookup site.. BDSM is about so much more than that. I am a submissive and have been researching about the lifestyle for years. I have just joined this site and I am looking for a Longterm relationship Dom/Sub dynamic. All the other dating sites don't interest me..because BDSM is apart of my life as well. I have chosen to be abstinent due to going through a tough divorce right now, but I'm not giving up hope that I can still have a non sexual relationship.

[Ta****]

10 hours ago, Jeneral_Whore said:

Probably gonna get bashed here but it's how I feel.... 

 

 

Is this a hook up site? 

No. 

 

This is a bdsm, kink and fetish COMMUNITY. 

It also serves as a dating site. But dating does not equal hook up. 

People who join here with the sole expectation of fetish = sex hookups, are what is wrong with the site. And the scammers. 

 

The amount of times I've said No to someone and get "why are you even on a sex site if you're not going to put out".

 

I am here for the learning, and community. If a date comes along then so be it. I know someone who genuinely wants to know me and or date me, will not try to throw sleazy disgusting smut at me in first messages that they've also copied and pasted to 17 others. 

 

People who join here with a severely misunderstood impression wanting to hook up, honestly repulse me. I can't stand it. 

Just because someone has a fetish or kink doesn't mean they are game for everything and anyone or need to put out. 

 

It's a community and should remain inspiring and resourceful and welcoming. Which community kinksters maintain... hook up sleazes do not.

 

On that note. Not everyone or everything on this site is D/s related either. 

The amount of will you domme me, will you be my little girl sub. I want a sub I want a dom.... no. 

Some people are here for the community and fetishes. That doesn't always mean every Tom, dick and Harry has a bdsm dynamic role. 

Nor does it mean that being on here you're automatically going to entertain someone who demands you obey them on first messages. Especially when you're not even into D/s dynamics.  

 

People can do with reading. Profile and forums. 

If people wanna hook up and sleep about , great, try Fuck.com.

*** site to here. But please don't ruin the community here if you don't know what ANY of it actually is. 

As someone else said... education is best. But you can't educate those who are tunnel vision driven for sex and can't read what someone is even about. 

 

Rant over. 

Very well said. As you pointed out, the problem isn’t that some people may use this app in pursuit of finding a NSA hookup, it’s that so many of them have such an inappropriately and disproportionately negative reaction to rejection, and there should be consequences for that.

[ge****]

7 hours ago, Jeneral_Whore said:

Don't get me wrong I am not putting them down entirely. I am saying for *me*, I can't stand it. 

Any approach I have had from someone seeking a hook up has been 100% negative. When saying no, or overall message stating said hook up has been disgusting. 

It's more the misconception on what this site is. The fact people who seem to assume kink equals hook up, entitles them to the behaviour they have and put me and others down when told No. The "why be here if you won't open your legs for me" absolutely repulses me. Sadly. 

However anyone who's here for the community... as in learning and exploring and dating have been exceptionally pleasant and respectful. They bring something. They speak with kindness respect and compassion. 

I understand I am close to generalising there. But honestly I cannot say I've seen one positive encounter across this site, in dms forums or newsfeed and chat, that has been positive at all. (From hook up seekers,  that I can recall).

I speak solely for myself and how I feel on it. But I recognise it happens everywhere. 

And 100% it is down to the behaviour of said individuals.  But to compare, thus far from what I've seen, read and heard... all the negative crude comments detrimental from this site, has been from those assuming hook ups here. Treat women and so on like meat or objects and feel entitled to get sex simply due to the name of this site. 

 

Everyone ofc has a right to be here. But I do feel it's best they actually know where here is. What it is. If they learn this, knowledge being power, can help their mindset, their learning and their approach and the site will improve. 

Too many have left due to people,  men and women, seeking hook ups and the traits that come with it. 

I choose my friend's and company, so each to their own. I am just strongly opinionated on it I guess from the 3.5yr of experience so far. 

Don't meaning any one in particular or hate against any crowd at all. Just my own view which isn't pleasant I suppose.  

And granted, not all seeking straight up hook ups are disrespectful.  Sadly just those I've encountered. But I know genuine ones exist. 

To both you and Nexum who have responded, I refer you to my opening statement that said I agree with pretty much all you said - all I disagreed with was your absolute condemnation of those that look for hook ups with words like they "repulse you" and telling them to go to F***.com.
.
As I said it's not the reason that someone is here that is the issue, that's down to each and every individual to choose for themselves, the issue is those whose approach to others lacks respect and acceptance of the way they choose to use the site and being honest your post actually showed neither in it's condemnation of those who do seek "hook ups".
.
You don't want "hook ups"? That's fine, nor do I as it happens, but I accept and respect that some might. Whether they actually get them with their approaches is another matter entirely.

[Je****]

35 minutes ago, gemini_man said:

To both you and Nexum who have responded, I refer you to my opening statement that said I agree with pretty much all you said - all I disagreed with was your absolute condemnation of those that look for hook ups with words like they "repulse you" and telling them to go to F***.com.
.
As I said it's not the reason that someone is here that is the issue, that's down to each and every individual to choose for themselves, the issue is those whose approach to others lacks respect and acceptance of the way they choose to use the site and being honest your post actually showed neither in it's condemnation of those who do seek "hook ups".
.
You don't want "hook ups"? That's fine, nor do I as it happens, but I accept and respect that some might. Whether they actually get them with their approaches is another matter entirely.

I do agree with you, and yes I realised I said they repulse me, and that is true. Simply for the fact every one of the disrespectful horrible comments I have received are from people who wanted a hook up. Never ever have I had that from someone who's invested in this site and its purpose. 

I cannot help that, the comment is based off my experience, sadly.

But F*ck.com is indeed a *** site and is simply for that. F**king. Perhaps if it was promoted well then people who sought hook ups, would go there and it would help this community serve it's purpose more.

Sometimes I do not come across well, I get that, but I do genuinely believe that 99% of seekers for flings or one off hook ups, do have a misconception and bring this place down. From what I have had personally, read and seen. 

I know not everyone is the same, and I cannot tarnish every one with a hook up notion, but I definitely agree, they are not for me. I do think if people read profiles instead of treating pictures like wank fodder, it would also help more. But I can only speak for myself. 

Everyone indeed has a right to be here, as long as they know what *here* is, and they respect the word No when it's given. 

I love people, and this site and I want it to succeed and everyone find that someone/thing they desire. 

[Ma****]

1 hour ago, Jeneral_Whore said:

I do agree with you, and yes I realised I said they repulse me, and that is true. Simply for the fact every one of the disrespectful horrible comments I have received are from people who wanted a hook up. Never ever have I had that from someone who's invested in this site and its purpose. 

I cannot help that, the comment is based off my experience, sadly.

But F*ck.com is indeed a *** site and is simply for that. F**king. Perhaps if it was promoted well then people who sought hook ups, would go there and it would help this community serve it's purpose more.

Sometimes I do not come across well, I get that, but I do genuinely believe that 99% of seekers for flings or one off hook ups, do have a misconception and bring this place down. From what I have had personally, read and seen. 

I know not everyone is the same, and I cannot tarnish every one with a hook up notion, but I definitely agree, they are not for me. I do think if people read profiles instead of treating pictures like wank fodder, it would also help more. But I can only speak for myself. 

Everyone indeed has a right to be here, as long as they know what *here* is, and they respect the word No when it's given. 

I love people, and this site and I want it to succeed and everyone find that someone/thing they desire. 

Why do I feel like what you are saying is going right over peoples heads? I also am not a direct fan of hookup culture and people act like the moment you join a kinky site you're ready to bang everyone and SHOULD bang everyone. Some of us want a simply monogamous long term relationship with nothing extra besides kink. There is nothing wrong with hooking up if you want to, as that is anyones choice and their decision. But yes it gets annoying when you go on a kinky site to meet likeminded LTR individuals snd you just get bombarded by horny 'sharks' who don't care to read your profile, don't care to actually approach you properly and ask what you are looking for, and who don't care to actually be or learn how to be a real dom

[Deleted Member]

My issue with people who think this is a hook up site (kink and fetish dating doesn't = hook up to me) is how many people think being kinky equates to being easy. Imo it's the opposite. I find the idea of kink hook ups dangerous.

[Chloebear]

Completely agree on these latter points - I don’t think kink is suited to hook ups and that’s why directing to fuck.com is actually helpful. I think you get swingers on here too and there’s an uneasy overlap there with different attitudes to bdsm and sex.

[mi****]

I'm neither really, got my own thing - but ultimately all dating sites are about hookup's- it's what you class as a hookup that differs
Vannilli=cock in vagina Kink could mean virtual tickle on the bum with a cyber feather.

[Br****]

I don’t view this as a hookup site. I see it as somewhat of a kink centered instagram. And if people choose to meet up offline, then great!

[Deleted Member]

Most hookup sites have to change cc *** so texting communication can happen that doesn't guarantee a hookup This site serves match making possible

[ju****]

No idea

[cl****]

I don't look at this as a hook up site , however I am finding it difficult to find people that are on the same level as I am. My goal is to find a couple that will spank me together and vice versa. And whatever materializing after that is a blessing

[Th****]

I joined really hoping it wasn't a hook up website

[Pa****]

I just joined, I don't think it's exclusively a hookup app but it does have those features.

[sharilynn]

not a hook up site mey a few on here  i wpuld love to meet up with though

 

[gr****]

Hot take: it's better than a hook up site because people actually want to talk and be friendly and talk without shaming anything

[Sh****]

Any dating type app will be seen as a “hook up” app to those who only come for that. It’s overall here for us to make connections the length/strength of those relations depends solely on who you meet. Personally i don’t focus on anyone who comes to these apps for one and dones anyway, if they come for something longer then the connection is typically better even if it does end up being a one in done. All about mentality.

[wo****]

It’s a dating site for kinky people unfortunately that attracts people who want hookups and people that want to get off with out meeting

[Br****]

It's whatever you make it, I'm here to learn who I am, what I like, make friends, hopefully meet my one true Dom/daddy/intellectual/teacher/lover/best friend/D&D and C of D mobile partner I'm not looking for much lol. I want to be all of the opposite for him that he wants and needs as well reciprocity I do truly want to make friends in this community because I believe we all have some life experiences that will help someone.

[BL****]

I would be fine with having a conversation that didn't start and end with some obviously fake profile trying to get me to send them bitcoin. 🤷‍♂️

[BL****]

Noone talks or replies on this platform.