Ki**** Posted November 22, 2023 Posted November 22, 2023 I learnt about this app from someone who found their fiancé here so I thought this might be different, for more mature and patient people. She made this app sound more like an online munch or social media (bit like FL) than dating app which is why I joined. Maybe this used to be like that but it does seem a lot of people come here with the idea of fet/kinky=s*x maniac ready for anything with anyone. You'll learn to block quick, without remorse.
gift_of_beli Posted November 22, 2023 Posted November 22, 2023 10 hours ago, BL4NK_5L4T3 said: Noone talks or replies on this platform. I have to delay i have had quite the opposite especially from the ladies on here who have always been lovely to chat to. Even in passing...short term or long term chats...I am sorry for your experience but encourage you to persevere as the ladies on here worth taking the time to speak to.
Pa**** Posted November 23, 2023 Posted November 23, 2023 Imma be honest here, I'm kinda sick of the gatekeeping people do without realizing it. This is a kinky dating app, its like if fetlife made a POF. Some people enjoy hooking up, some people are simply looking to make friends that want to hook up. If thats not you, cool beans, don't hook up. But don't act like because it isn't what you're into that you have some moral highground against the thought of it happening, or that it breaks some kind of 'rules' that 'real' kinksters should have to follow. If you wanna meet some like minded folks and hook up then this site is awesome for it. If you wanna not do that and just network or more traditional dating it so far seems to do pretty well at that too. But I am so tired of the endless BS I see on kink related sites where people endlessly make these 'real doms do this' or 'real subs do that' or 'a real dom wouldn't ----- and if they do its a red flag'. Your own tastes and preferences are your own, they only apply to you and your partner(s), I mean shit isn't the whole vibe with the kink world supposed to be you do you and have fun?
ge**** Posted November 23, 2023 Posted November 23, 2023 5 hours ago, CoquitlamCouple said: This is 100% a hookup site To those that are looking for hook ups yes - to those, like myself, that aren't it's absolutely not.
Chloebear Posted November 23, 2023 Posted November 23, 2023 2 hours ago, Pandagravy said: Imma be honest here, I'm kinda sick of the gatekeeping people do without realizing it. This is a kinky dating app, its like if fetlife made a POF. Some people enjoy hooking up, some people are simply looking to make friends that want to hook up. If thats not you, cool beans, don't hook up. But don't act like because it isn't what you're into that you have some moral highground against the thought of it happening, or that it breaks some kind of 'rules' that 'real' kinksters should have to follow. If you wanna meet some like minded folks and hook up then this site is awesome for it. If you wanna not do that and just network or more traditional dating it so far seems to do pretty well at that too. But I am so tired of the endless BS I see on kink related sites where people endlessly make these 'real doms do this' or 'real subs do that' or 'a real dom wouldn't ----- and if they do its a red flag'. Your own tastes and preferences are your own, they only apply to you and your partner(s), I mean shit isn't the whole vibe with the kink world supposed to be you do you and have fun? Within the bounds of safety and consent. In particular, safe practice of D/s doesn’t lend itself to brief hook ups .
Pa**** Posted November 23, 2023 Posted November 23, 2023 7 hours ago, Chloebear said: Within the bounds of safety and consent. In particular, safe practice of D/s doesn’t lend itself to brief hook ups . Sex in general, especially kinky fun sex, is definitely better with someone you've gotten to know. But you can still work out terms and limits and whatnot in advance even if you're just meeting up with a random stranger. Personally I kinda enjoy the hookup process purely because if it's not worth trying again I don't have to, and if it is it'll just continue to get better each time you meet up. So say I'm managing a restaurant and someone quits. I could go through the ling application process, vet out who has the best experience and whatnot and in a couple weeks have a new employee. During that time I'll have to do the work myself. Or, I can give some rando that wanders in looking for a job a chance to do the job. If they don't do well at least I didn't have to do all of it myself, and if they do well then I can get em trained up and they'll become a good addition to the crew. Both options have their pros and cons. But thats basically how I approach relationships, sure I could spend the really long process of finding someone just right, but theres still a good chance it for whatever reason may not work out. The fast process means less time doing the work myself, even if the experience isn't great it's still an interesting new experience and I met a new character in life, and if the experience works out it can be built on. I've got nothing against people that wanna do the long process, but that long process doesn't give some kind of righteous superiority for doing things the 'right' way.
Ji**** Posted November 23, 2023 Posted November 23, 2023 12 hours ago, Chloebear said: Within the bounds of safety and consent. In particular, safe practice of D/s doesn’t lend itself to brief hook ups . But It can! I was a traveling Dom that would meet for a weekend hook up or a one night if they wished.
Deleted Member Posted November 24, 2023 Posted November 24, 2023 I thought it was about free expression of self and education for some. But maybe freedom is what you make or take from it. You may not like what others say or do but they might not like what you feel is right or wrong.
Chloebear Posted November 25, 2023 Posted November 25, 2023 I’m going to say this, even though I’m sure there will be negative responses. It’s easy to say you pursued hook up kink happily, briefly agreeing rules ad hoc. However, for many (especially women, especially subs) this puts you in a very risky position, practising with someone who doesn’t really know you or your body language and, frankly, who you don’t know if you can trust. Just because one person has good intention, sadly not everyone does. Aside from that, lack of experience and people lying about experience, easier to do on a one off, can mean higher risks of people getting hurt. This isn’t righteous superiority, it’s safety. People practise bdsm with those they’ve vetted at length first to make sure they can do something higher risk with some assurance against actual harm. It is a pretty masculine attitude to be so blasé about this risk, although I’ve no doubt hook ups are a preference for both genders. Either way, given that this is a kink site, which encourages responsible play, being risk aware and safety conscious, I would still say it’s not geared up as a hook up site but is moreso for making connections and also for community and learning.
Deleted Member Posted November 27, 2023 Posted November 27, 2023 All the messages I receive are just about hooking up & pic exchange. I wish they would let only people who actually like bdsm in here. This is what i came here for, yo find mutual connections, and im just getting a bunch of posers. This site isn't for people who enjoy the lifestyle it's for people who are looking for kinky people to have sex with. Also why are there even 18 year olds on here? They're practically ***. Nobody is serious.
Chloebear Posted November 27, 2023 Posted November 27, 2023 12 hours ago, adhdstoner said: All the messages I receive are just about hooking up & pic exchange. I wish they would let only people who actually like bdsm in here. This is what i came here for, yo find mutual connections, and im just getting a bunch of posers. This site isn't for people who enjoy the lifestyle it's for people who are looking for kinky people to have sex with. Also why are there even 18 year olds on here? They're practically ***. Nobody is serious. Try popping your head into chat and actually, the forums can be good too. Also recommend setting filters on your inbox, that helps limit the hook up style messages. Eg don’t allow unverified and no photo profiles, that will instantly get rid of loads. (Although not all unverified purps are not serious, enough are to limit it.)
mi**** Posted November 28, 2023 Posted November 28, 2023 It's good to know it's not a hookup site though. Sending this comment let's people know..I know I've been too forward.. wasn't sure if this was fetlife app or just a kinky app
Pu**** Posted November 28, 2023 Posted November 28, 2023 This site is iffy, And please be careful, have a bad experience in this and gotta be aware of yourself and who you talk to.. If you truly found the one keep them if not block and delete 🤷🏼♀️
Ma**** Posted November 29, 2023 Posted November 29, 2023 I think the reality of things now a days is that all dating app are partial to hookup culture because it's easier to text then tell someone in person they just want to have sex and they can do this with little to no repercussions. So I wouldn't look to much into this as "this is a hook up site" in reality all site or app are the same or very similar. You just have to filter for what you want and not let others impose themself on you.
Ch**** Posted November 29, 2023 Posted November 29, 2023 To Op it’s always the pushy ones who show their true colors when they don’t get what they want. Best to not even entertain them and it’s better to see how they are early than later. But these apps seem to be good for introverts to reach out and say hi and go from there.
Ne**** Posted November 30, 2023 Author Posted November 30, 2023 8 hours ago, chicago68788 said: To Op it’s always the pushy ones who show their true colors when they don’t get what they want. Best to not even entertain them and it’s better to see how they are early than later. But these apps seem to be good for introverts to reach out and say hi and go from there. Certainly I agree with the three points you’ve put down.
ha**** Posted November 30, 2023 Posted November 30, 2023 I've only had two or three women message me a few times and im cool with that ( they act like they want to get to know me at 1st ) but then they ask me to go to this app or that app so we can talk more privately!! Lol i tried that 1 one time only( whats app ) i think it was . She told me if i wanted to talk more or meet her to cash app *** . Not my thing .
ge**** Posted November 30, 2023 Posted November 30, 2023 3 hours ago, haleyville435 said: I've only had two or three women message me a few times and im cool with that ( they act like they want to get to know me at 1st ) but then they ask me to go to this app or that app so we can talk more privately!! Lol i tried that 1 one time only( whats app ) i think it was . She told me if i wanted to talk more or meet her to cash app *** . Not my thing . Wise man!! For most male users, any initial contact from a woman should be treated with an element of caution - not all are scammers, but a large proportion will be - so before diving into interaction with them, check out their profile, take note of things like how long they've been here, how detailed their profiles are, whether their pics look a bit too polished, reverse image them, do they seem a bit too good to be true, are they offering all sorts right off the bat etc. . As I said not all women who initiate contact are out to scam you but a big enough percentage will be to keep your guard up.
My**** Posted December 1, 2023 Posted December 1, 2023 I have had only 4 woman all together in the last 3 years even just respond to a message a comment or like or crush So not sure if it's the way I approach them or it's just the way others have treated them I have run into a few here and there "Pay to Play " and that's not what I'm looking for In looking for something a bit more solid So if this was a "hook up site exclusively" then you'd figure they would be banging everybody's inbox would be blowing (of course woman's more than Mens) but over it to me is just a everyday meet like minded individuals but to get any one person to talk to seems it a craps shoot And as for the three I've had regular contact one has moved on the other is one I've had regular and the third Well I'd rather not say all I can say is I think there needs to Ma be be a phycuarric eval not for desires or wants but shall I say stable individuals bbut No it's not just a hook up site
Sn**** Posted December 3, 2023 Posted December 3, 2023 fet life a long time ago was a great site for content friends and parties as well hookup and finding people that and would chat and enjoy the same kinks but now it's fake women trying to get cash and bots
My**** Posted December 3, 2023 Posted December 3, 2023 And how long ago was that I only ask because I've been a member for three years and it's always been difficult to find real woman that want something real not my PayPal act lol
Ne**** Posted December 3, 2023 Author Posted December 3, 2023 I’ll just chime in here to say this: Not every person (or woman) who seeks to earn *** online is a scammer, or a fake person. Dislike the attitude and lumping all of that together; and people (men) thinking it’s only fake/scam or else there aren’t any women doing anything else in places like this - it’s insulting to me personally and disheartening. I’m a real chick and I’m right here… ✌🏽
My**** Posted December 4, 2023 Posted December 4, 2023 My appologies I meant no offense to you or any one else I may insult But it's been my experience To state those facts maybe it's more of the amount of profiles Meaning maybe there are just more people or bots on this and other sites to the ratio of real woman on these sites because if you or anyone thinks about it if/when the scanners are caught they are removed deleted or just disappear Somewhere v what does they do just make up another one and the cycle continues
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