PRE-CARE: Foreplay to Leather Sex

November 13, 2023

Simplified: Pre-care can be considered similar to aftercare - a transitionary period between play and non-play awareness, except it precedes the scene. The individuals involved may use this time to physically and mentally prepare for play. The specifics vary among types of play, individuals involved, and dynamics, of course.

Taking from my own experiences as an example:

Prior to the scene, I give my partner the verbal command to "Present", which tells them to strip down and assume that corresponding position: basically, standing at attention with a slight variation for my own preferences. Outward, this might appear a somewhat egocentric gesture - a dominant telling a submissive what to do (and no doubt, it doesn't fail to give me a total owner boner), but on the flipside of the coin, it also begins the submissive's journey into sub-space. Waiting in this position for me to acknowledge them, my partner has a chance to meditate on the situation at hand, focus on their protocol for the type of play, and generally enter an anticipatory mental state as they wait for my attention.

Circling my partner like a wolf stalking their prey has a similar effect on the mentality, leaving them feeling small, ***, and quickly sinking deeper into that sense of being captured: the feeling of being my prey, sustenance for the sadist - and edging further into subspace/masospace. Much like a wolf, I'm not only trying to be intimidating, but I'm also performing a visual evaluation of my partner. I look for existing bruises/discoloration, abrasions, moles, lumps and any other physical concerns that may possibly affect the play. A sudden and surprise touch can show me several reactionary considerations; do they jump and how much, does their skin blush or cover with goosebumps, are they feeling ticklish or extra sensitive are just a few questions answered. Grabbing a handful of flesh certainly helps my partner feel as if I am claiming what is mine, but it can also help me feel for knots in the muscles, how tense the area is or how comfortable that individual feels in my hands.

This all transpires in the span of 5 to 10 minutes, and then the scene begins...

If you use pre-care, what are some of the methods you find most beneficial to your play objectives? Do you find pre-care important to your play, why or why not?