What makes a good Dom?

[Wo****]

I know different people like different things, I'm curious as to what people think makes a good Dom..

I discovered that the one thing that every single person I feel attracted to (sexually or emotionally) is their lack of aggression. They can turn it on if they need to but otherwise are fairly quiet people.

Respect, communication and honesty are vital.

 

 

[PixieDust]

16 hours ago, LazyPiratesBounty said:

Respect, communication and honesty are vital.

I agree totally but for me  a good Dom is also someone who has taken the time to really understand and know you completely;  know your mind,  know your ***s,  desires, needs, wishes etc........what makes you tick in a manner of speaking

[BigPolly]

Confidence! For me if someone isn’t confident in their role then I’m not interested. More often than not, confidence comes with experience but not always. I have not been in a D/s ‘relationship’ so I need to know the Dom I’m going to play with is going to be confident from the get-go making it an experience, especially if the play is a one off. Confidence also causes amazing anticipation which for me is huge.

[li****]

Confidence, respect, trust, honesty and patience are things I always want and look for a in a Dom. If they have taken the time also like @PixieDust has said to get to know you inside out heart, mind, body and soul then to me they are worth trusting. A good Dom will also take time to get to know you as a person first before any type of play, just to see where your head is at and to be sure you as a sub are ready to give your gift of submission to them. There are so many "fake" Dom's out there it's pivotal for new subs to see and spot one when they talk to them, same also goes for subs too.

[BigPolly]

2 hours ago, Lilmonster said:

There are so many "fake" Dom's out there it's pivotal for new subs to see and spot one when they talk to them, same also goes for subs too.

Totally agree with this.

Because of the way I play I tend to work a lot on instinct & also the BDSM world is quite small sometimes so if I meet someone I tend to see who they know that I know & that will tell me how ‘real’ they are but for anyone starting out, an initially ‘getting to know eachother’ period is crucial. 

[ey****]

I think the traits I try to possess in me as a Dom are also those I look for, and would often expect, in a Domme. (As I switch)

Understanding that this is not all down to 'play' - that even if the nature of the relationship is going to be a (presumed) one-off playtime that time is spent understanding wants and needs and this is also followed up with aftercare.

Communication is a key one.   Choosing to do only what you can confidently do. A willingness to continue to learn.   Keeping promises. Remembering information important to the sub.  Knowing how to show the sub their efforts are appreciated.