Trouble learning!

[Al****]

38 minutes ago, locketheart said:

When I see the kind of request above I will tell you what comes to MY mind:

1) you are lazy, in many ways. You either want ME to do all the work, or this is some low key lazy ass way to try and trick a woman into being your kink dispenser.

2) you are entitled AF expecting some woman, you haven't even made friends with, just some stranger, to walk you thru and teach you god knows what, just on the basis that she is a woman, and into kink. Nothing more.

3) Your replies show that you seem to think women are a hive mind, and we all like the same thing. News flash, we don't. Just like some men like to be pegged, many will run away hands covering their ass yelling "EXIT ONLY!" if you suggest it to them.

4) Why CAN'T you google simple terms? I DO, still. I come across some term I don't know, I google that shit. I REALLY don't blame the woman for telling you to Google it if your question was literally "what do the letters in BSDM stand for?" I would say the same... IF I bothered to respond.

FFS.

Thanks for the advice, very much appreciated!

[Al****]

3 hours ago, hunk420 said:

There’s a big difference between asking someone knowledgeable (of any gender) if there are any resources they’d recommend so you can research yourself and expecting women to spend their time and energy teaching a stranger how to do something. I’d encourage you to do the former, not just here with this subject, but in general, when learning anything.

Thanks for your response.

[ge****]

4 hours ago, Harryslamers said:

I'm just trying to learn.

As I and others have said, it's great you want to learn, and even better that you appear to be doing so as this thread has progressed - what I'd seriously suggest however is that you take a step back and do some introspection and self-analysis as your next move.
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Ask yourself things like:
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What drew you to kink/BDSM and what do you hope to get out of it?
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What sort of dominant/submissive do you think you would be and why?
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What things turn you on about kink/BDSM? What things turn you off?
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Get comfortable with yourself and your desires and then figure out what you would like to learn as a next step, and then use the forums and other sites/blogs/books to further that knowledge.
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If any of your interest comes from having watched BDSM porn then, whilst it's an entry point, put it aside, the reality is mostly far removed from the leather, whips and chains stereotypes BDSM porn presents for the most part.
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One area you obviously haven't learned here however is the wealth of valuable information that can be gleaned from men - it's noticeable that you've pretty much only responded to women replying to this thread thanking them for their advice etc whilst ignoring the majority of men that have replied - as has been pointed out by me and others - you can learn a lot from all genders, and possibly more from men who have been in your position and learned from their experiences.

[Al****]

8 hours ago, gemini_man said:

OP you know what? I get it, you want to learn, and that's never a bad thing, particularly in this lifestyle and on sites like this - so I applaud you for that.
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BUT...(there's always a but isn't there?) you're going about it in all the wrong ways...first up you've shown both in your OP and your subsequent responses that you have little to no knowledge of BDSM and what it means not only in terms of definition, but what it means to you, what interests you about it, how you came to have that interest, which side of the coin you sit and so much more...and *that* that in itself is one very big reason you're not getting the assistance you seek when messaging people - you don't even have the very basics covered, and if you don't know those, then people *are* going to think the worst and not be willing to put themselves out for you - the basics are easily discovered via Google and the like.
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Next up your attitude comes across as expecting people to put themselves out for you and answer potentially very intimate questions posed by someone who, for all they know (and it doesn't matter if you genuinely aren't) is just looking for their kicks to get off on.
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Then you decide you don't want information from the very people that actually could probably help you a great deal, yes that's right, men - there are many men who have been where you are, who have listened and learned and who *do* know how to make sites like this work for them - yet you've made it clear you don't want to hear from them!!
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And I really do get it, I was where you are some 30 years ago, and do you know what? I get how daunting it can seem, how you feel that every question sounds "stupid", how easy it is to make mistakes or say the wrong thing, BUT I listened and learned and did my own reading and research, and slowly grew my knowledge both of myself and the lifestyle - I didn't expect others to teach me, I didn't pester random women with intimate questions, I sought out blogs, and forums and chat rooms etc and talked openly and honestly and demonstrated my interest and knowledge and with that people came to know me in a public arena and recognise I wasn't just a bloke sat with my cock in my hand waiting for someone to feed me tidbits of filth to get off to, and through that came interaction and more.
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So my advice to you, is take a step back, think about what you really want from all this, do some introspection and be honest with yourself first and foremost - seek out books and blogs and forums, ask questions no matter how "stupid" they may seem, show yourself to be a stand up guy with a genuine interest and do so publically - get that right and interaction will follow.
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Carry on down the expectant and entitled path you're on and doors will continue to slam as you're placed (rightly or wrongly) in with all the other horny blokes looking for their jollies and nothing else.

Can I DM you?

[ge****]

27 minutes ago, Harryslamers said:

Can I DM you?

Of course - my inbox is open to anyone

[Deleted Member]

20 hours ago, Harryslamers said:

Thanks for your response.

You’re welcome!

[cautiousswitch]

Read the comments men make about women's pictures.   Roughly half of them will will make it obvious why women are wary of men who ask them to teach kink.

[Al****]

59 minutes ago, cautiousswitch said:

Read the comments men make about women's pictures.   Roughly half of them will will make it obvious why women are wary of men who ask them to teach kink.

Thanks for your input...

[Deleted Member]

I would suggest getting out to social events and networking with like minded people. Create an alter ego persona and study the psychology behind dom and sub. As a dom the subs should be chasing you!

[Al****]

2 hours ago, Shawn_Scott said:

I would suggest getting out to social events and networking with like minded people. Create an alter ego persona and study the psychology behind dom and sub. As a dom the subs should be chasing you!

Thanks Shawn!

[Pe****]

10 hours ago, Shawn_Scott said:

I would suggest getting out to social events and networking with like minded people. Create an alter ego persona and study the psychology behind dom and sub. As a dom the subs should be chasing you!

The subs should be chasing Doms?? Poor advice.

[Deleted Member]

Judging by your profile youre a dom? Do subs come to you or to you go looking for subs?

[Al****]

9 minutes ago, PervyPenelope said:

The subs should be chasing Doms?? Poor advice.

Thanks Penelope!

[Redbottom***]

I am glad you've raised this . As a recent sub there is quite a lot of research for subs and I was lucky enough to get a mentor to help me guide through those first months. Even then there was so much I wasn't expecting or didn't think about

But so many males spoke too who want to either try being a Dom or develop more and lack of research/info is a problem

I recently held an event with professional Dom's to give us demonstrations and provide advice and guidance, mixed witj social of similar people and chance to play within a dungeon.

I want to develop this more with regular events, have a mentor/menteree project and just supportive