How to meet someone for strapon play?

August 30, 2019

I am new to this and would like to try. I have no experience. Can anyone advise me?

August 30, 2019

I've very simple advice - but you might not like it.

Pay a Pro.

There are other options, of course, you could spend a long time building up relationships only to find they're not into strap on or lead looking to date with someone who likes strap on and then it comes over that this is more important than the relationship aaaaand - if you do meet someone and then "try" and find you don't like it then where does it leave your relationship?

So.

You find a pro who is experienced - they will give you tips and help prior to your first time and be able to help and take you through it so you are more likely to enjoy the process. From there you can find out if this is something you wish to pursue, or drop, without prejudice.

While this is potentially expensive - it's much cheaper and quicker than failed dates.

October 29, 2019

Paying a pro does seem the only option

October 29, 2019

9 hours ago, lesmond691 said:

Paying a pro does seem the only option

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It may be the quickest, and in the short term, the best option, for the reasons eloquently stated by blacksheep. It depends if you’re prepared to spend the time developing a relationship with someone like-minded.

I had some fantasies yet to be lived out. I considered paying a pro and approached one who appeared keen to provide my required scenario. We discussed my needs and wants, along with other terms of the planned transaction. All was agreed. However they then abruptly disappeared and all attempts at re-establishing contact failed.
I began chatting with someone who had messaged me after seeing posts I had made on some of the forums. Because I had been specific and detailed, they could relate to my descriptions and common mutual needs were identified. This has led to a great friendship, a developing relationship and a planned meet in the coming weeks. All without a penny changing hands.

So for what it’s worth, my bullet point advice would be as follows:

1. Write candidly and openly about your ideal scenarios. Putting “into pretty much anything” on your profile is unlikely to garner much attention.

2. By all means pay a pro for what you want. You’ll still need to be candid and state clearly what your expectations are. Remember not all those posing as pros are pros. Some are sad people who’ll waste your time and ***. Take recommendations from others if using paid services from a pro.

3. Put in the time, on the forums, on the chat rooms and in your profile, to tell others what you are looking for and be prepared to spend time chatting to build relationships with potential playmates. Putting a message on a chat room or forum such as “anyone here looking for cock?” is extremely unlikely to get the desired response. Meaningful personal messages and friendly conversations are much more likely to generate interest from like-minded people.

4. Fetish.com is not a pick-up joint or shag-contacts site. It is a vehicle for discussion and making contact for people who are looking for something outside of the vanilla humdrum. If you want a quick shag, get Tindr or Grindr or something similar. The long-timers on this site are generally folk who are prepared to give more to the community than they take from it, folk prepared to invest their efforts in the site. Users and takers usually last no more than a week or two, then clear off, much to the benefit of all. There are loads of “deleted member” posts on the forums.

5. You say you are new to this and would like to try, but have no experience. Injuries sustained, and bad experiences, physical and emotional, by people engaging in “beyond vanilla” activity are almost always due to lack of experience or knowledge. I would advise you to pay a pro or spend the time building a trusting relationship with someone experienced. A quick hook-up is unlikely to be a good first time experience for you in this area, as preparation and understanding are absolutely key to a happy outcome!

I hope you find what you’re looking for, stick around as there are some lovely people on this site, and Welcome to the community!

October 29, 2019

Thankyou i think its because im older no one wants to do it

October 30, 2019

Les, you’re only a few years older than me, and believe me there are many guys a lot older than you getting what they want! Ageism doesn’t thrive here...

October 30, 2019

Age - I think - doesn't have a lot to do with much. The Mistress I was serving has a sub who is 71 and he didn't start with her until he was in his 60s.

Ultimately, there are two (arguably three) paths.

Path 1 is the quickest. You can pay somebody - all you really need is to have the budget, a time to do a little bit research, and being able to compose an email (Dearest Mistress, I found your website and was wondering if you had any availability on *date*. I've been curious about a few fetishes and would love to try strap on (or whatever) I've no prior experience. Would you be interested and to do this with me? If so, I have a deposit ready)

Path 2... not everyone likes and it basically involves becoming involved in a kink community (particularly off-line. i.e. munches, fetish events, so on) and doing so will over time build up little friendships and have you known and, well, depending on how conversations come up and play out then opportunities may arise. This can take some time - because it has to be done as the aim of wanting to be involved first, getting fetishes/play second.

Path 3 - finding a partner and hoping for the best!

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The issue is often that guys want the s***d of path 1, without paying. When... the truth is, someone needs incentive to play. Incentive isn't necessarily financial, but, there's no ladies sat stroking strap ons waiting for strangers to jump on to get their jollies.

Incentive can be you're a cool person and it'd be fun to do something with - but this is how you need to come over first

October 30, 2019

10 hours ago, Fredddy said:

Les, you’re only a few years older than me, and believe me there are many guys a lot older than you getting what they want! Ageism doesn’t thrive here...

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Thanks freddy i have been looking for a while with no avail

October 30, 2019

3 hours ago, eyemblacksheep said:

Age - I think - doesn't have a lot to do with much. The Mistress I was serving has a sub who is 71 and he didn't start with her until he was in his 60s.

Ultimately, there are two (arguably three) paths.

Path 1 is the quickest. You can pay somebody - all you really need is to have the budget, a time to do a little bit research, and being able to compose an email (Dearest Mistress, I found your website and was wondering if you had any availability on *date*. I've been curious about a few fetishes and would love to try strap on (or whatever) I've no prior experience. Would you be interested and to do this with me? If so, I have a deposit ready)

Path 2... not everyone likes and it basically involves becoming involved in a kink community (particularly off-line. i.e. munches, fetish events, so on) and doing so will over time build up little friendships and have you known and, well, depending on how conversations come up and play out then opportunities may arise. This can take some time - because it has to be done as the aim of wanting to be involved first, getting fetishes/play second.

Path 3 - finding a partner and hoping for the best!

-

The issue is often that guys want the s***d of path 1, without paying. When... the truth is, someone needs incentive to play. Incentive isn't necessarily financial, but, there's no ladies sat stroking strap ons waiting for strangers to jump on to get their jollies.

Incentive can be you're a cool person and it'd be fun to do something with - but this is how you need to come over first

Expand