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‘Coming out’?

sub_nick

By sub_nick
in BDSM Forum

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sub_nick

sub_nick

Posted
NOTE: The reason I have the title in quotation marks is because I don’t mean it in the typical sense, I more so mean it about the lifestyle.

Anyway, onto the main subject…

So I’ve been thinking about letting more people know I’m in the lifestyle, at the moment it’s only close friends and they seem to be cool with it, but the main question is… how would I go about explaining this to parents?

All answers appreciated
Si****

Si****

Posted
I wouldn’t. Unless it’s someone I’m playing/having sex/being intimate with, they have no business knowing about this side of me. It’s my private life. It’s unnecessary and it would just be embarrassing for a ***-relative such as my parents or siblings to know anything about it.
sub_nick

sub_nick

Posted
  • Author
  15 minutes ago, SissyMaidMikayla said:
I wouldn’t. Unless it’s someone I’m playing/having sex/being intimate with, they have no business knowing about this side of me. It’s my private life. It’s unnecessary and it would just be embarrassing for a ***-relative such as my parents or siblings to know anything about it.
Expand  

Fair comment, can see your reasonings

ge****

ge****

Posted
Ask yourself this - why do they need to know?
.
If they don't then it may be best to keep it to yourself, understanding that someone they care about has kinky needs is going to be very difficult and may even be something they themselves don't want to know.
.
It's very different from someone coming out as gay in that unless you are planning on bringing someone home to meet them clad in leather and cracking a whip there's not going to be anything different from what they might be expecting.
.
Now you may have very valid reasons for wanting to be open to all about your sexuality/desires and if so then just be open and honest and explain to them it's very much a part of you the person and what you enjoy - but think very carefully about taking that step and whether family etc "need" to know - because you may be causing upset for both them and yourself if you do take it.
Do****

Do****

Posted
You may feel you that you need to share your decision as a means to fully embrace it. I would ask what practical support they could.offer? What are you looking for in their acceptance of your decision? In all personal relationships we have intimate details which we do not share, with all our family and friends. That is the definition of intimacy.
Consider the effect any such disclosure would have on them as well as on you and your relationship with them.
Be true to yourself, but be kind and compassionate to those you love.

Deleted Member

Posted
Maybe just tell them your not vanilla, then let them ask follow up questions.
Their questions would give you a good idea of how much to share.
kimutu72

kimutu72

Posted
Thats a hard one, Ive been in this life style for about 10year now. Im a single parent of 4gorgeous kids aged between 32&13, I told my kids last year (obviously not my youngest) there was mixed reactions but they have come to terms with it. but it could have been different I guess. The question is do your parents need to know? would it make a difference if they knew?
Kat779

Kat779

Posted
Be sure it is worth it to let them know, because I know this sort of lifestyle can come with a lot of prejudice. If you really, really need to tell them, make sure about how much they would need to know.
ey****

ey****

Posted

the thing with being kinky, is no one *actually* needs to know

I mean, of course, it can be great to have someone to talk to (the entire purpose munches exist) but others don't need to know, and even may be a case of "you do you" but don't otherwise *want* to know

 

Th****

Th****

Posted
(edited)

I don't really understand why one would *want* to tell their parents. Very close friends, yeah I can see that because we want to be able to discuss our relationships with them. 

It's also really important to think if this knowledge would upset them in any way.

Edited by ThaliaV
Mi****

Mi****

Posted
Why do you even need to tell them?
Do they discuss their private lives with you? I’m guessing not?
ge****

ge****

Posted
  42 minutes ago, PervyPenelope said:
Why do you even need to tell them?
Do they discuss their private lives with you? I’m guessing not?
Expand  

That's a good point actually PP.

Perhaps the way to look at it OP is how would you feel if your parents sat you down and told you they like to visit kink clubs and get tied up and whipped and more? I imagine you'd feel fairly uncomfortable - same will likely apply the other way round.

Charms

Charms

Posted

My best freinds know. There are a few who I share everything with. But there are other freinds who I know I could never share anything about my kink side .

 

Why do you want to tell people ? Just be carful

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