Would you consider this a Dom or just a normal man, and question about vaginal orgasms.

December 18, 2023

I want to hear this from you guys, as seem like the normal marriage forum don't understand him. Would you consider a man like him as a Dom, or he simply just a normal man? And I have a question about vaginal orgasms.

Sorry English is my third language.

I been with my husband 14 years (married 12). We are long term married. I know there are 8 BILLIONS people in this world, hundreds of countries, thousand of cultures. So no man is the same. But I'm just so hung up about him that I want to understand his dominant mindset.

Please keep in mind I fully consent to him with every fiber being of me, without him I wouldn't know the pleasure of vaginal orgasms after vaginal orgasms to the point I was throbbing over and over, even if the ceiling fall on top of me I still wouldn't notice because all I can concentrate on was how good his penis feels.

He not just only well-endowed but also well hung, his penis is enough to give me vaginal orgasms.

He is very Vanilla, so am I, that is why we sexually compatible. No, we are violently monagamous, there won't be another person in our bedroom, we just not into those stuff.

There no toys, chains, tied up, dungeon stuff, so I don't even think he anywhere near BDSM. He never once ask for anal neither, he just want my vagina. Hell, he never slap my butt during sex, let alone anal, that how much Vanilla he is.

BUT, here the BUT. There more to it about him.

First of he has this insanely dominant mindset, he explicitly said, his exact words: "he the one with the penis so let him do the Fu-cking"., Yep, his exact words.

He said let him do all the fu-cking and initiating. He said he wants to be the dominant one so let him do 100% of the F-ucking. Just submit to him, let him do all the work.

He said it a mind/mental thing to him. And he can't get erected if he not in the position sexually where he is the dominant one.

He said he not want my mouth, he wants my vagina, well at least he honest.

He likes to be the initiator and the “top.” He likes vaginal only and likes it a little rough. Rough here I mean his penis in his thrusting you know. No, there zero toys involve, it just his penis.

Second, he can likes it little rough. He the type that pushed you down the bed and use his body as ***, and he likes to pin you down restraint you like one hand hold hard your wrist and one hand hold hard your shoulder, and fu-ck you.

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And he into sudden sex based on his inner impulse, example like he just stare and stare at me and he just pin me down the bed and fu-ck me till I throb all over and can't take the repeated vaginal orgasms anymore and BEG him to stop.

He is selfless in bed but then at the same time dominant. He never asked me su-ck his penis, or asked for anal, he give me the same answer every time, he wants my vagina. And he sure ask me for one thing, let him dominate the sex session.

I said he selfless in bed because it always my orgasms and my pleasure first (whether it his mouth of his penis), and he the last to cum at the end. He can likes it rough with his penis, but he knows he didn't hurt me because I was throbbing vaginally and ofcourse his penis can feel my vaginal orgasms, and I moan. He would have stop if I didn't show him that during sex.

It like he see it as a failure on his part if he can't get me submit to him and BEG him to stop due to I can't take it anymore.

You know a woman vagina when you get vaginal orgasms you throb so much it get sensitive and the pleasure sensation it lingers deep in your vagina, I would be happy if he stop after give me one orgasms, but he won't stop, he keep on fu-cking me then my vagina naturally second wave of orgasms come I throb all over again, then third, then fourth, as he won't stop fu-ck. Until he see I get so drain, then he cums. It like he has to be in total control.

Third, he does 100% of the work in bed, and he flat out Vanilla, but every time he done with me, my body get so drain that all I can do is say his name and fall asleep within few minutes, while still naked, I was so drain. Perhaps it the repeated vaginal orgasms after orgasms he gives me. But I never understand why he the one that does all the work, while I just enjoy the pleasure by him, but I'm the one that drain, and not him.

I want to pleasure him back, I asked him if there anything I can do, and asked if he happy with our sex life. He said he is very happy with our sex life, and I give him what he wants--as in let him be dominant,and fully in charge, he said that just how his mindset work, he literally cannot get an erection if he not dominant in the bedroom.

Anyhoo, my question is, why am I so drain every single da-mn time he done with me? I do nothing except do what he asked, he wants me to enjoy the pleasure he gives me so I enjoy, he the one that ride the high, the one that does ALL the work in bed, but I just can't seem to stay awake after he done fu-ck me, I drift into sleep like a baby, I was super drain. It is the repeating vaginal orgasms he gives me? Or perhaps my body is just weak, and can't handle him, lol.

And my other question, is he even BDSM man? Or he simply just a normal man. But seem like the normal marriage forum doesn't think he normal at all. And I'm confuse too, it like he is a normal man but then there something insanely dominant about him.

December 18, 2023

He needs you to submit to him, I think if you weren’t drained by the end he would feel like he didn’t do a good job.

December 18, 2023

You gotta show him it’s okay to do others things. And that you are truly satisfied even if you took control sometimes. We dudes get one tracked minded especially when we see our women orgasm for the first time we just gon keep doing the same thing till it’s outta style lol. And tell him to eat that thang first foreplay is everything.

December 18, 2023

Coming from a guy who enjoys eating pussy and I make sure the woman is pleased before me too. Sounds like me and him are similar. As guys you hear woman do not always get an orgasm. So he might just want to make sure you get yours b4 him. Then he has done so much work it takes him a while to get off. Especially if yall have consistent sex! The more yall fuck the longer he will last. You should try one time when he comes home blindfolded him and you doing to him what you want. And if he dose not let you he is just using you as his sex toy. Do he lay with you after or dose he leave? Just curious. There is something called after care that is important. Even when me and my wife has sex I always ask her if she needs anything. Even if iflts just cuddling for 5 minutes. Like you said you are always so spent. He should see if you need something to eat or dink. Sex can be a workout. Your orgasms take energy and use it. Try getting him to every now and then letting you have control but just let him guide you. Like sit him in a chair and fuck him facing him. Position his hands and tell him to drive you.

December 18, 2023

If you're both happy with the situation and your sex lives then does it really matter what he is or that you're left both satisfied and drained?
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If you want something different from what he's giving you then you need to discuss with him and tell him what you'd like - whether that be oral, more foreplay or whatever.
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However that's only IF you're not happy and want something different.

December 18, 2023

This doesn't strike me as a situation that raises the question is this D/s or even, is this normal.
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The question should be, are you both happy and on that note, if you're questioning it, I wonder whether you are.
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It may be a language barrier amd maybe i've misunderstood but it seems that you may not be getting what you want. Yes you orgasm but you also mention that you want to take a more active role, one that he's not considered/considering?
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It feels that he's getting what he wants when he wants it. What are you getting?

December 18, 2023

Thank you for the inputs.

You misunderstand CopperKnob, I NEVER once in my thread I said I want to play more of an active role. In my first paragraph I said I'm willingly to submit to him out of every fiber being of my body.

This thread is actually not about him, it about me trying to get VALIDATIONS if he a BDSM man or not, because I have a kink that I want him to fulfil for me. I have CNC kink, I want him to *** me, yes you read it right, I want my husband to *** me.

But he might just be a normal man and will not do that act with me.

Sure, he can give me the dominant and aggressive sex, which I orgasms repeatedly from. He can give me aggressive sex like out of no where pin me against the wall, or push me down the bed, or pin me down the carpet, etc.. and fuck my brain out.

BUT he won't *** me.

And I can't *** him to do something he not want, man or woman they have the rights to their body and what sex acts they want to engage in. There be an uproar if the role the gender were flip around.

I guess I'm trying to come to term that he will not act out the CNC kink with me. This thread is not about him, it about me trying to get Validation if he might be BDSM, but perhaps he just not.

December 18, 2023

30 minutes ago, StayAtHomeWife said:

Thank you for the inputs.

You misunderstand CopperKnob, I NEVER once in my thread I said I want to play more of an active role. In my first paragraph I said I'm willingly to submit to him out of every fiber being of my body.

This thread is actually not about him, it about me trying to get VALIDATIONS if he a BDSM man or not, because I have a kink that I want him to fulfil for me. I have CNC kink, I want him to *** me, yes you read it right, I want my husband to *** me.

But he might just be a normal man and will not do that act with me.

Sure, he can give me the dominant and aggressive sex, which I orgasms repeatedly from. He can give me aggressive sex like out of no where pin me against the wall, or push me down the bed, or pin me down the carpet, etc.. and fuck my brain out.

BUT he won't *** me.

And I can't *** him to do something he not want, man or woman they have the rights to their body and what sex acts they want to engage in. There be an uproar if the role the gender were flip around.

I guess I'm trying to come to term that he will not act out the CNC kink with me. This thread is not about him, it about me trying to get Validation if he might be BDSM, but perhaps he just not.

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Might have been an idea to mention that in your first post rather than adding it now.
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Either way asking here is not the place you are going to get an answer, the only way you are going to get that is by discussing with your partner.
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Just because someone is dominant however doesn't automatically mean CNC will be for them - and CNC is a very emotional and triggering thing that evokes some very powerful reactions.
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Either way as I said the person to discuss it with is your partner.

December 18, 2023

52 minutes ago, StayAtHomeWife said:

Thank you for the inputs.

You misunderstand CopperKnob, I NEVER once in my thread I said I want to play more of an active role. In my first paragraph I said I'm willingly to submit to him out of every fiber being of my body.

This thread is actually not about him, it about me trying to get VALIDATIONS if he a BDSM man or not, because I have a kink that I want him to fulfil for me. I have CNC kink, I want him to *** me, yes you read it right, I want my husband to *** me.

But he might just be a normal man and will not do that act with me.

Sure, he can give me the dominant and aggressive sex, which I orgasms repeatedly from. He can give me aggressive sex like out of no where pin me against the wall, or push me down the bed, or pin me down the carpet, etc.. and fuck my brain out.

BUT he won't *** me.

And I can't *** him to do something he not want, man or woman they have the rights to their body and what sex acts they want to engage in. There be an uproar if the role the gender were flip around.

I guess I'm trying to come to term that he will not act out the CNC kink with me. This thread is not about him, it about me trying to get Validation if he might be BDSM, but perhaps he just not.

Expand

Did I?
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You've added that you want to try CNC but that he won't participate. So, you don't appear to be getting want you want?
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Also, CNC is not "***" given the consent aspect and plenty of "normal" people engage with that particular kink. It doesn't mean that they're abnormal.
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In your original OP you also say that you want to "pleasure him back" which I took to mean that you wanted a more active role
Like I say, maybe it's a language barrier.
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Either way, no one here or even on the "normal marriage forum" can give you the validation that you're seeking. That can only come from the two of you and what you both, mutually understand, to be a kink/an aspect of BDSM.

December 18, 2023

I'm (Chromedom, male half) a little confused. Gemini is right with the simple solution...ask your husband. Tell him your fantasy and see if he's willing. But you also say "but he won't *** me"...this makes it sound as if perhaps you already did ask. And if you did, and he said he won't, it doesn't matter if he is a "BDSM man" or not. (Which for the record, it doesn't sound like he is. I'd guess he's from a cultural history that strongly encourages male dominance in bed, but not necessarily kink)
That said, I'll make another assumption...that if you haven't just asked about fulfilling a CNC fantasy, what's would keep you from asking? My guess is that you presume that his dominant ego, that he is in charge of making sure you are pleasured, might be hurt if you suggest you want or need something more. Even though he is a great, generous, satisfying lover...that asking for something outside of his dominant control (not his idea, or style), might hurt how he perceives his role. That perhaps he might think that he is not 100% enough if you ask for something else...even if you are so very happy with him sexually. Again...this is a guess, but I hope this is more helpful in understanding your question rather than being completely wrong about him.

December 19, 2023

I’m pretty new to this kink world so don’t really have the experience to give proper advice but going from not participating in BDSM straight into CNC is a very big step, if my partner brought this up I’d be a bit taken back and unsure on how to do anything with that.

Maybe start off a bit smaller than full on CNC, you say he likes to be ***ful so suggest to him that you put up a little struggle and see how he feels about that.

December 19, 2023

@StayAtHomeWife ; I'm trying to understand your need for others to validate if your husband is into BDSM? CNC role play (whatever form that may take) is only one tiny aspect of BDSM. Just because he may not be comfortable with your need for "*** role play" doesn't mean he's not necessarily into BDSM. It may just be that one thing that is not a shared desire....but you may find if you also have other kinks and share them with him - he might want to explore with you. I would say just ask your husband for validation not anyone else! Sounds like you both enjoy a good match of desires regarding rough sexual play....which is a kink in itself!