Flexible sadism

September 5, 2019

So not really new to this but returning after being in a long term vannila relationship and wanting to see if others share my view on sadism or if there's another term which better explains my take.

I'd say that I'm a true sadist as in I take pleasure from the person I'm playing withs *** there's no doubt about that my limit is my partners limit when it comes to ***, but I am more so in it for the pleasure in general whether that comes from kink or vanilla but kink is definitely preferred. So whether it's impact play, restraints, wax, breast play etc..... or just normal non kinky sex with just light groping massage oral and "vanilla" sex i enjoy them both equally like my 2 main things are impact and oral (actually prefer oral to sex) but I get the same rush out of both of them aslong as my partner is wanting and being pleased by what we're doing.

Im also not really the pace setter when I play because I want whoever I'm playing with to get the most enjoyment possible out of it, for example I'm not naturally dominant but if my partner gets off on it I can be as dominant as they want and have been in the past and get off on something I don't necessarily seek because they enjoy it.

I guess I'm just wanting to know if this is common with others as I havnt really heard others express this similar mindset.

September 5, 2019

this doesn't sound uncommon at all. I've come across others that are similar - you can want the other person to enjoy themselves AND be sadistic AND change your play so the other gets more enjoyment

these are not exclusive properties.

September 5, 2019

Am extension of what Blacksheep said; no two people are exactly alike. It sounds as though you are possibly a switch, though not in the common sense of the word. What I been is that, as you said, you can choose to be Dominant or not, so you switch between roles of being dominant to whatever else. BDSM is a hugely diverse concept, with very few definite facts. That said, it is not uncommon for people to have unusual concoctions and combinations of interests. I myself am a sadist and primal, yet I am a mild sadist who also enjoys sensual "vanilla" activities, despite often wanting to get aggressive. There is only really one definite fact that comes to mind. Safe and consensual.

September 5, 2019

Yes I agree with these things I'd say that I'm moreso just willing to conform to my partners wants aslong as it's ***/sadism/dominance orientated or if vanilla I'm still moreso in control and giving I guess I get alot of pleasure from my partners pleasure in whatever form it comes, but I never play submissive because it does nothing for me.

September 5, 2019

1 hour ago, Mancasual96 said:

Yes I agree with these things I'd say that I'm moreso just willing to conform to my partners wants aslong as it's ***/sadism/dominance orientated or if vanilla I'm still moreso in control and giving I guess I get alot of pleasure from my partners pleasure in whatever form it comes, but I never play submissive because it does nothing for me.

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I am similar. I mostly focus on my Submissive's pleasure, and that satisfaction adds to my own, as well as the pleasure I physically get from physically giving. Top answer your question directly, you are not alone. You are unique, yes, but you are not too disimilar that you cannot find commonality in others.